Season One - Discussion

[MJ]

I've been waiting excitedly for Bitten's premiere for ages now, Darrin, and I'm so happy I finally get to read it! I'm going to review as I read (because otherwise I tend to forget things) so you'll have to bear with me if my thoughts and conclusions are all over the place because this might end up as a stream of consciousness XD

Review of Bitten 1.01 Full Moon Rising

- Firstly, I'm liking Sara and Milo's interactions as brother and sister so far. Particularly her swinging the bag into his stomach right as his yawning, that just rings as so true for brother/sister behaviour.
- Lol, the entire Will saving Sara scene all I could think of was Twilight XD Was that intentional or pure accident?
- I'm loving Gwen so far, and more brother/sister interactions that I'm really enjoying.
- Suave, Will. Ask a girl out and then bring up her dead mother.
- Omg, this is the teaser scene you gave me for the January news. I can't remember if it ends badly. It feels like it might end badly...
- Well, it ended bad for someone. Was that supposed to be really similar to the dream at the start? That's the vibe I was getting from it.
- Lol, Jeremy, also lacking in the suave department.
- "What? Wait, you know about that?" Haha, that actually made me laugh out loud.
- Sara and Will, you two have to stop meeting like that XD
- I could have sworn this scene was going to be a lovey-dovey first kiss but then, BAM, psycho wolf!
- No! This is the dream scene! Holy crap.
- I'm kinda glad Sara went the whole 'stay away from me and everyone I know route'. A much more realistic reactions than what is found in most supernatural stories these days
- Will, for a werewolf you suck at not acting suspicious.
- So much for only a few people at the party...
- Oooh, magic Milo. Also, got so caught up in the fight scene I forgot to make comments, lol.
- The dad knows stuff! That's a twist, was not expecting him to be in the loop.
- Ha! Knew she couldn't be dead.

Anyway, that's my stream of conciseness as I read through the episode, now let me try and give you some more concise feedback XD Overall I really enjoyed the episode, and the characters too. They were all introduced in a way that didn't confuse me or have me constantly thinking 'who's that again?' so good job on that.

Only things that bugged me during the episode were the dialogue, on occasion, would get a bit repetitive or cliche, and the use of the word "mame" which I'm pretty sure isn't an actual word and should have been "mam" or "ma'am" (but correct me if I'm wrong, it could be a different country, different spelling thing XD).

But moving on, I loved the storyline. It was really action packed for a pilot which was awesome, meant you had me hooked all the way though. It was also good story telling too, I never felt lost even though you were introducing a lot of elements and it was all just really good. I'm really eager to see what the next episode has in store, and if it's anything like this one I know I'm going to really enjoy it

[Deleted]

First, Thank you so much for the review and so quickly. Holy crap, MJ! Lol.

Jan 16, 2013 21:15:37 GMT -6 MJ said:

I've been waiting excitedly for Bitten's premiere for ages now, Darrin, and I'm so happy I finally get to read it! I'm going to review as I read (because otherwise I tend to forget things) so you'll have to bear with me if my thoughts and conclusions are all over the place because this might end up as a stream of consciousness XD]

I'm the exact same way. I try and write a review while reading but sometimes I get so wrapped up in the story I forget to write.

Review of Bitten 1.01 Full Moon Rising

- Firstly, I'm liking Sara and Milo's interactions as brother and sister so far. Particularly her swinging the bag into his stomach right as his yawning, that just rings as so true for brother/sister behaviour.
- Lol, the entire Will saving Sara scene all I could think of was Twilight XD Was that intentional or pure accident?
- I'm loving Gwen so far, and more brother/sister interactions that I'm really enjoying.

Yeah, I love family dynamics because every family has a different way of dealing with one another. So, there is a lot of strong family connections sown throughout the series of Bitten. Another reason is that a pack of wolves is essentially a family.

HAHA! You know, I never really thought of that until you just mentioned it. I can see how it came off quite Twilight, and now I'm cringing Lol. My original pilot script had him stop a pile of dishes from falling on her. I thought maybe making it a little more dangerous would up the ante, so they say.

- Suave, Will. Ask a girl out and then bring up her dead mother.
- Omg, this is the teaser scene you gave me for the January news. I can't remember if it ends badly. It feels like it might end badly...

Suave, Will, indeed. Lol. This is where I got a little diabolical because I needed the readers to know that Sara's mom had passed but I also didn't want to rush Will and Sara into a relationship. So, I thought by him having his charm derailed would help slow down the "quick to the alter" feel. Too bad I had to use her mother's death in order to do so. Lol.

Yes, that is the scene. Honestly, picking a scene for the January news was HARD! Lol. I couldn't find a single set of scenes that wouldn't confuse potential readers. When reading through there was almost a conversation in every scene that, had you not read the story up to that point, you'd have no idea what was going on. Lol. I actually almost added descriptions to the beginning of that scene in the January news but thought, screw it, it's just a taste of what they can expect, people will get it.

- Well, it ended bad for someone. Was that supposed to be really similar to the dream at the start? That's the vibe I was getting from it.
- Lol, Jeremy, also lacking in the suave department.
- "What? Wait, you know about that?" Haha, that actually made me laugh out loud.

Poor Hannah Myers. The scene was supposed to be similar, yes. The reason being that the opening scene takes place seconds after Sara discovers Hannah's remains. That's it. Lol.

I love Jeremy and his awkwardness. He's very old fashioned, and really quite shy. He gets better as episodes progress. I love Milo in this scene because he's the, somewhat helpful but somehow not, wingman. That line was to show that Milo had visions of the home coming party. Obviously, he didn't see the wolves coming or he wouldn't of been so quick to send his new boss there. Lol.

- Sara and Will, you two have to stop meeting like that XD
- I could have sworn this scene was going to be a lovey-dovey first kiss but then, BAM, psycho wolf!
- No! This is the dream scene! Holy crap.
- I'm kinda glad Sara went the whole 'stay away from me and everyone I know route'. A much more realistic reactions than what is found in most supernatural stories these days

I have to admit I was a little scared of having them meet that way again. I wasn't sure if people would take it as me being lazy, or see it for what it really is, which is fate... Not that I'm spoiling anything. Lol.

I always intended for Sara to react in that way. I agree that a lot of supernatural shows have their characters shrug their shoulders and accept it for what it is. I didn't want that. Not because it's been done, but because something happened to Sara at that very moment. She explains why she acted the way she did, next episode.

- Will, for a werewolf you suck at not acting suspicious.

How would you feel if a Sheriff walked out of the woods at night and knocked on your front door? HAHAHA!! I think Will was just so wrapped up and flustered with the events earlier in the day that he let his guard down for one second and it's gonna cost him. That Sheriff is a nosy bugger. Lol.

- So much for only a few people at the party...
- Oooh, magic Milo. Also, got so caught up in the fight scene I forgot to make comments, lol.

Does Sara know Abigail or what? <-- Trick question by the way. Lol.

Magic Milo? New nickname... I think so! Lol. I'm glad that the battle didn't bore. That's been my greatest fear writing this series, so far, is that I'm gonna draw out the fight scenes to the point of exhaustion. Lol.

- The dad knows stuff! That's a twist, was not expecting him to be in the loop.
- Ha! Knew she couldn't be dead.

Expect a lot of last minute setup scenes for the following episode. Every episode, so far, ends with scenes that will relate to either the following episode or future episodes. I don't know what it is but I'm addicted to shows like that. Lol.

Anyway, that's my stream of conciseness as I read through the episode, now let me try and give you some more concise feedback XD Overall I really enjoyed the episode, and the characters too. They were all introduced in a way that didn't confuse me or have me constantly thinking 'who's that again?' so good job on that.

Only things that bugged me during the episode were the dialogue, on occasion, would get a bit repetitive or cliche, and the use of the word "mame" which I'm pretty sure isn't an actual word and should have been "mam" or "ma'am" (but correct me if I'm wrong, it could be a different country, different spelling thing XD).

Thank you. I'm really glad you enjoyed the characters.

Yeah, I will admit that dialogue is definitely my weak spot. I have a tendency of rambling as I write which leads to repetitiveness. HAHA! Yeah, Ma'am would be my fault Lol. I take full responsibility for that one.

But moving on, I loved the storyline. It was really action packed for a pilot which was awesome, meant you had me hooked all the way though. It was also good story telling too, I never felt lost even though you were introducing a lot of elements and it was all just really good. I'm really eager to see what the next episode has in store, and if it's anything like this one I know I'm going to really enjoy it

Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it. This review has really settled my premiere day jitters, for sure. Lol.

[stevieg]

Finally Bitten is released and upon us to chew into And one I've looked forward to reading.

It is a great first episode, introducing the characters of the show and the mystery of a few that leaves you wanting to know more about them. Some really nice writing I felt, offering us views of the town and what it's known for from the start, the characters and areas we will come to see more of over time. The descritions of settings was well wrote, and helped that imagination of what it looks like in your own mind.

I love the various wolves on display, the black, grey, white which offer that good mixture so we can easily tell them apart.

The "[character] runs naked, yet covered" bits confused me. Either their naked, or covered? Unless you meant they are naked but we only see sections of their naked body from our pov. Also, I don't think you said what happened to the clothing when they changed? Is it like Superman where the clothes just seem to fade into the outfit (in this case Wolf), as I think more realistic would be the clothes just crumple on the floor as the wolf jumps out of them.

There was some funny parts added into the scenes, the dialogue exchange between some I enjoyed and give it that realism of communication between awkwardness, fondness and uncertainty of trust.

The interactions between some characters were well worked, especially the bonding of family members, and friends.

The reaction, as stated, by Sara to Will in discovering he's a wolf was a positive (realistic) take on the events, unlike many other shows/films. The added events of maybe a little magic thrown in also offers something more than "this is just another werewolf series!"

Overall, I enjoyed the first episode. It was action packed when needed to be, with a good range of characters first introduced and unresolved issues and mystery regarding several of them. Elizabella's entry was a bit short and felt could have been expaned into a 2nd episode, but her impact could be felt for longer terms I believe over a series.

The only small issue, which isn't anything to put me off was a small bit of SPAG I felt got though. Maam which has been pointed out, but a few times I felt maybe a comma could have worked in some areas of dialogue, and there are points where it stated "could/should of" which I think would more likely have been "could've / should've" which felt more natural.

Looking forward to the next episode, and see how you develop the characters even more.

[Deleted]

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Steve!! I really appreciate it.

Finally Bitten is released and upon us to chew into And one I've looked forward to reading.

It is a great first episode, introducing the characters of the show and the mystery of a few that leaves you wanting to know more about them. Some really nice writing I felt, offering us views of the town and what it's known for from the start, the characters and areas we will come to see more of over time. The descritions of settings was well wrote, and helped that imagination of what it looks like in your own mind.

Thanks for the compliments, Steve. I'm a very visual person so when I write I feel the need to describe the scenes to their fullest to let the reader see what I'm seeing. Also, I think setting is a good way to build suspense... a dark cloud here, a breezy tree there. Lol.

I love the various wolves on display, the black, grey, white which offer that good mixture so we can easily tell them apart.

Yeah, I needed a way for the reader not to get confused when writing battles. Lol. It also helps me not get confused when writing the battles Lol.

The "[character] runs naked, yet covered" bits confused me. Either their naked, or covered? Unless you meant they are naked but we only see sections of their naked body from our pov. Also, I don't think you said what happened to the clothing when they changed? Is it like Superman where the clothes just seem to fade into the outfit (in this case Wolf), as I think more realistic would be the clothes just crumple on the floor as the wolf jumps out of them.

HAHA! Okay, I'll start with the naked-yet-covered. This is my attempt at keeping these scripts PG-13 Lol. Think flesh covered body suits Lol. It was also away to take sexuality away from the scene. I could of left it as naked but then it turns the scene into something sexual I think and I didn't want that. So they are naked-yet-covered, angled a certain way, flesh covered body suits, etc. Lol. I will admit in the Pilot I never mentioned what happened to their clothes. I think in one of the episodes I use the description "they shred". So, I will make it official: When the wolfs transform their clothes shred. I think they need to, it would be a little goofy having clothed wolves running around. Lol.

There was some funny parts added into the scenes, the dialogue exchange between some I enjoyed and give it that realism of communication between awkwardness, fondness and uncertainty of trust.

The interactions between some characters were well worked, especially the bonding of family members, and friends.

Thanks, Steve. Like I had stated in MJ's review response, dialogue is definitely my weak link. I like to think I get better the more I write but I can't guarantee that. Lol. I'm really happy you enjoyed the interactions between the characters.

The reaction, as stated, by Sara to Will in discovering he's a wolf was a positive (realistic) take on the events, unlike many other shows/films. The added events of maybe a little magic thrown in also offers something more than "this is just another werewolf series!"

Yeah, when writing that scene I took a lot of things into account. A) Sara was almost mauled to death... that could make anyone a little cranky. B) Sara had almost kissed a part animal... that's gotta be creepy. C) Sara's big secret in the series causes her to respond the way she does. Lol. And if C) wasn't in the mix I don't know if I would of taken the same route with that reveal. I may have had her thank her knight-in-shining-wolf-form and the two ride off into the sunset. I'm a sucker for happy endings... You probably won't believe that once you see what I have in-store for the Bitten cast. Lol. But I do.

Overall, I enjoyed the first episode. It was action packed when needed to be, with a good range of characters first introduced and unresolved issues and mystery regarding several of them. Elizabella's entry was a bit short and felt could have been expaned into a 2nd episode, but her impact could be felt for longer terms I believe over a series.

Elizabella is in it for the long haul. Well, to at least 1.10. She's very much intertwined with the main story of the season. Her appearance in the first episode was sort of what I sacrificed in order to introduce the main characters, their relationships, and the huge mythology that is Bitten properly. Not that I'm making excuses. Lol. We learn a little more about her with each passing episode. In the next episode Gwen is determined to find out who she "was" and Will just wants to get back to business as usual. And although Elizabella makes only a small appearance in the episode, I can say that her actions from 1.01 creates a ripple through 1.02 right into 1.03 and so on.

The only small issue, which isn't anything to put me off was a small bit of SPAG I felt got though. Maam which has been pointed out, but a few times I felt maybe a comma could have worked in some areas of dialogue, and there are points where it stated "could/should of" which I think would more likely have been "could've / should've" which felt more natural.

I actually skimmed through the pilot last night and I wholeheartedly agree. My script writing has evolved since the pilot so I do use commas like "I don't know, Will" where as in the Pilot I did not. Lol. I'll have to make sure I do another round of edits on the other episodes and catch things like that. Same goes for the could/should of. I think I was focused more on keeping the right "They're There and Their"s that I laxed a bit on everything else. Lol. Hopefully, it wasn't too distracting and aggravating.

Looking forward to the next episode, and see how you develop the characters even more.

Thanks, Steve!! I really appreciate the interest! And I hope you enjoy the story as it unfolds.

[greycatprods]

Delighted to see this up and running, Darrin. I'll read it shortly

[Deleted]

Thanks, Kyle!!!

[Jay Paterson]

Just want to say that I got half way through the pilot last week but have been pretty busy since. I'm going to make time tomorrow to finish reading it and writing a review

[Deleted]

Thanks, Jay!!

[Jay Paterson]

I was just curiously looking through the spoiler thread and wanted to say that the title for episode 10, "Old Gods, New World" is really intriguing me.

[Deleted]

I was afraid the title was too forward Lmfao!

[Jay Paterson]

Sprry i still hve t finished the pilot, i have at least 10 pages left or the pilot! I will be sure to catch up this week as i am off university until the 6th of feb

[Deleted]

HAHA! No problem, Jay!

[guyrjames]

Just finished the pilot and I wasn't disappointed. Actually surprised in the sense that it didn't go in the direction that I thought it was going to go in. The relationships between both sets of siblings are definitely well thought out and the dialogue is a fun read. So far, all the characters really got a good amount of development while adding more to the mystery of who's behind the attacks, why Milo is so special, and what is so important about Will and Gwen. I'm getting a strong mix of Roswell and Vampire Diaries, both shows that I adore, so I'm in. I'll hopefully get to the second episode later this week. Great job.

[Deleted]

Thanks, Guy, so much for reading!!

Just finished the pilot and I wasn't disappointed. Actually surprised in the sense that it didn't go in the direction that I thought it was going to go in.

I'm hoping this happens a lot Lmao! I enjoy throwing in curve balls to keep the reader guessing. XD

The relationships between both sets of siblings are definitely well thought out and the dialogue is a fun read. So far, all the characters really got a good amount of development while adding more to the mystery of who's behind the attacks, why Milo is so special, and what is so important about Will and Gwen.

Yeah, I have strong family values so I really wanted my characters to have the same. I mean some families are not as lucky as Gwen/Will and Sara/Milo/Ed which of course is seen in Jeremy's past, or at least talked about in 1.02 Blood Ties (more is revealed in future episodes). The same goes with Abigail. "Why Milo is so special" and "what is important about Will" kind of intertwine. Gwen is really just the mediator between her brother and father. You understand why that is in episode 1.05 which is also the mini-hiatus episode.

I'm getting a strong mix of Roswell and Vampire Diaries, both shows that I adore, so I'm in. I'll hopefully get to the second episode later this week. Great job.

Roswell and The Vampire Diaries are two of my favorite shows, so I can see some of that bleeding into the story. But I can guarantee that there is no aliens in Bitten... well this season anyways Lmfao!! Who knows what future seasons will hold. As for vampires they'll always play role in the series, but it's yet to be determined how big of a role. I can, however, guarantee that you'll never see a stupid ass hybrid in Bitten. And you can take that to the bank. Lmfao!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Guy! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and hopefully you like the episodes to come. XD

[Jay Paterson]

Finally, I have finished reading the pilot for Bitten and it was even better than I remembered.

First off I wan't to say I am loving the originality of this series. It's very different to any other supernatural show I've seen. Will and Gwen being the children of the Werewolf King is really intriguing me so I can't wait to find out more about that. I really enjoyed how descriptive your scenes were. Nice attention to detail that helped me picture the town of Crescent Bay. The dialogue however, sometimes felt clunky and repetitive but I see you noticed that yourself. Plus it didn't really effect the script much at all, so its all good.

I really liked all of your characters and how they were introduced. Will seems to be the perfect main character. Very mysterious and interesting which makes me want to know more about him. I really love the relationship between him and his sister Gwen, its very playful and sibling-y, which makes it seem very realistic. Gwen, I can tell will be one of my favorites, she seems pretty bad-ass and doesn't let anything get in her way. Her protective nature over her brother will get her into a lot of trouble though, but I am looking forward to see how her character develops and how she deals with this trouble. Sara, I still haven't yet figures out. I think I may have mentioned this before but I feel we haven't gotten to know her personality as much as the other characters and I feel maybe Milo stole her spotlight in the pilot. Now, Milo, that's one interesting character, my favorite so far, for sure! We got to see more depth to this character in the pilot episode than anyone else I think, which is great because i really think there's so much tell when it comes to him, his past, and now his new 'abilities', Shall we call them? The whole Viscera's bursting into flames and the visions are really intriguing me about this character. Jeremy and Abigail seem to be great characters too and i'm really looking forward to seeing more of them. As for Elizabella, BEST. BAD GUY. EVER! Her character is so compelling. And i can tell so much back story and thought went into this character, which i'm dying to read more of. Oh, and how could I forget, Albert! I know i'm going to love this old man.

For a pilot this was really action packed, which I loved! Some of the story lines moved a little faster then I would have liked, for example Sara and Will's relationship but I won't go into that as I've already spoke about that during your pitch. But as for everything, it was perfect. I'm really looking forward to learning more about the characters as well as the mythology you have for this show. I'm dying to know more about Elizabella's involvement and how she knows the Adler's and also what the hell is going on with Milo, especially now we know his dad know something about it. I feel like the Sheriff might have a great story arc in this season, he may be hot on the trail and its only episode one.

Overall, the pilot really set up the season nicely and ended with a few little unanswered questions, which i really enjoyed and makes me NEED, not wan't, need to see more.

[Deleted]

Thanks for reading, Jay!! I really appreciate it

Finally, I have finished reading the pilot for Bitten and it was even better than I remembered.

First off I wan't to say I am loving the originality of this series. It's very different to any other supernatural show I've seen. Will and Gwen being the children of the Werewolf King is really intriguing me so I can't wait to find out more about that. I really enjoyed how descriptive your scenes were. Nice attention to detail that helped me picture the town of Crescent Bay. The dialogue however, sometimes felt clunky and repetitive but I see you noticed that yourself. Plus it didn't really effect the script much at all, so its all good.

Thanks, Jay. That might be one of the best compliments ever. When I set out to write Bitten, I will admit, I was influenced by The Vampire Diaries and all I kept thinking was I need to separate myself from that idea because people are just going to think of it as a clone. And so far I think I've been able to do that. *cross fingers* Hopefully. Lol. I'm a visual person and unfortunately that sometimes gets to be too much Lol. At one point I kept describing head turns... That's when I knew I was going too far. Lol. As the series progresses there is less and less description of the places because by that point people should know these places rather well. Yeah, sometimes when I write I banter and sometimes I try to be dramatic which leads to the clunky dialogue Lol. One example is Sara talking about Milo. I think she says her brother was dead like 3 times. That was me being dramatic Lol.

I really liked all of your characters and how they were introduced. Will seems to be the perfect main character. Very mysterious and interesting which makes me want to know more about him. I really love the relationship between him and his sister Gwen, its very playful and sibling-y, which makes it seem very realistic. Gwen, I can tell will be one of my favorites, she seems pretty bad-ass and doesn't let anything get in her way. Her protective nature over her brother will get her into a lot of trouble though, but I am looking forward to see how her character develops and how she deals with this trouble.

Will is an interesting character. He's the baby in the family so he has this rebelliousness to him, but he also feels a sense of responsibility when it comes to his new found friends in Crescent Bay. You'll notice this in the different conversations between him and Sara and him and Gwen. When he talks to Gwen he gets whiny and likes to argue. Lol. I really enjoy writing Gwen's character because she's like an onion (she has layers *Shrek* Lol). She can be strong when she needs to be strong, but she can be vulnerable when she needs to. She's had to be this strong woman because her mother died when she was young. She definitely goes to great lengths to keep both her brothers out of trouble. You'll meet their older brother Gabriel in 1.04.

Sara, I still haven't yet figures out. I think I may have mentioned this before but I feel we haven't gotten to know her personality as much as the other characters and I feel maybe Milo stole her spotlight in the pilot. Now, Milo, that's one interesting character, my favorite so far, for sure! We got to see more depth to this character in the pilot episode than anyone else I think, which is great because i really think there's so much tell when it comes to him, his past, and now his new 'abilities', Shall we call them? The whole Viscera's bursting into flames and the visions are really intriguing me about this character.

Yeah, I can totally see Milo stealing the spotlight from Sara this episode. He takes a little of a backseat role in the 1.02 so hopefully you'll get more of a sense of her character next episode. I think I've mentioned this before but she has an interesting storyline. In 1.02 you find out if she'll become a werewolf or not. I don't want to give too much away but her story unfolds from there. Milo's very much a big part of the first season. All the characters are really but Milo is important. His fire power will increase and his visions will start to become one vision in particular. I will say it's important but unlike his other visions this one may not come to pass as seen.

Jeremy and Abigail seem to be great characters too and i'm really looking forward to seeing more of them. As for Elizabella, BEST. BAD GUY. EVER! Her character is so compelling. And i can tell so much back story and thought went into this character, which i'm dying to read more of. Oh, and how could I forget, Albert! I know i'm going to love this old man.

Yes! I am so glad you like both the characters of Jeremy and Abigail because they're sticking around for a while. I think of all the characters on Bitten, Jeremy has the best character arc. He starts off as this victim but he really comes into his own. He's got a lot of skeletons in his closet that he himself doesn't even know about. Abigail is interesting too. She's not all she seems to be and we learn more about her as the season goes forward but we don't really get to dive into her history this season. I'm working on a scene or two for episode 1.12 Legacy, but other than that her past is a mystery. I've also started working on Season Two (I know I'm crazy) and her past will play a more prominent role. Elizabella is interesting. I had originally planned to kill her off in that Pilot episode. I was gonna use her as Chicken Little claiming the sky was falling and then have her die dramatically. However, as I started plotting that first episode I realized her potential as not only a bad guy but a sympathetic bad guy of circumstance. Her ties with the Adlers comes from a dark time in their lives as well. It also makes you question who the real bad guy is. HAHA! I love how Albert has become a fan favorite from two scenes. Lol. He's great, and will be seen in at least four more episodes throughout the season.

For a pilot this was really action packed, which I loved! Some of the story lines moved a little faster then I would have liked, for example Sara and Will's relationship but I won't go into that as I've already spoke about that during your pitch. But as for everything, it was perfect.

Yeah, their relationship has a quick-to-the-alter feel and that springs from my first draft of the Pilot in which I was told I needed more action and less Will getting to know Sara. Lol. It's okay though, they're not going to have an easy go of it, if that helps at all. Lol. If I could redo it over again though that's one thing for sure I would work on.

I'm really looking forward to learning more about the characters as well as the mythology you have for this show. I'm dying to know more about Elizabella's involvement and how she knows the Adler's and also what the hell is going on with Milo, especially now we know his dad know something about it. I feel like the Sheriff might have a great story arc in this season, he may be hot on the trail and its only episode one.

Ed definitely knows of Milo's powers. Ed knows a lot of things, more than he's letting on. However, his secrets won't stay bottled up for long. The Sheriff is not a very trusting man. I think this may sprout from his marriage to his ex-wife and Abigail's mother but we don't really get into too much of that this season. He's just a man that wants answers. He knows Crescent Bay like the back of his hand so he knows these "animal attacks" are not what they seem.

Overall, the pilot really set up the season nicely and ended with a few little unanswered questions, which i really enjoyed and makes me NEED, not wan't, need to see more.

For every question answered there will be more unanswered. I love mystery. HAHA! Thanks so much, Jay!! I really appreciate you reading and reviewing.

[Jamison]

Okay, took me long enough, but I've finally sat down a read the pilot for a second time. It really did seem better this time around!

The first thing I noticed about this show was the unique setting. When writing VS' it's so easy to forgo the idea of creating a visually interesting and unique setting, but your description of Crescent Bay, especially in the first scene at the fishing market, really creates that extra sense of personality in terms of your setting. It's really hard to get that across when I'm reading something, and not actually having anything physical to look at.

Anyway, onto my thoughts on the overall plot -- I think it's brilliant. A werewolf show that brings its own mythology and rules to the table is so great to see. I love the idea of royal families, and Viseras. Original ideas like that only make the series more engaging for the audience, because it seems like you're really trying your best to get something new and fresh out of an idea that been around for such a long time.

Your characters are awesome - like a lot of people have mentioned already, Milo is my favorite, so far. I feel like his backstory; how much he changed after the death of his mother, his recovery, and the new abilities he has obtained, is such an interesting piece of the bigger whole. I find myself drawn most to him, because he's not human, he's not a werewolf; he's something else. Mystery is my favorite thing in the world, and a good one always gets me excited! xD

Elizabella was another high point for me in the pilot. The mystery unraveling with her character is already interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing her in future episodes, finding out how she knows the Alders, and if she was the girl behind the tree in that picture(??) Also, her "love." You set up a lot in the pilot, and I can't wait to see how it all unravels over the course of the show!

On a technical side, you have some killer descriptions. The action and just the overall use of language in your script is amazing. The wolf fights, for example, we very well done. Very easy to visualize as well, which can be so hard sometimes. Some of the dialogue fell flat in places - sometimes feeling unnatural or too static. However, your script was not plagued by it, so it's something I'm sure will improve in future episodes.

Overall, this was a GREAT pilot! I've already found myself attached to characters like Milo, and Gwen; possibly more than Sara an Will, but I'm sure once Sara gets more involved with the Adler's, she'll appeal to me even more (not that she doesn't now! haha! I'm rambling, sorry) Anyway, this is definitely a series that deserves a lot of attention! I'm looking forward to begin reading the next 2 episodes, because it's Wicked Wednesday man! XD Haha!

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Thanks, Chris, for reading and reviewing!!

Okay, took me long enough, but I've finally sat down a read the pilot for a second time. It really did seem better this time around!

HAHA! No worries, I'm just glad people are reading it Lol.

The first thing I noticed about this show was the unique setting. When writing VS' it's so easy to forgo the idea of creating a visually interesting and unique setting, but your description of Crescent Bay, especially in the first scene at the fishing market, really creates that extra sense of personality in terms of your setting. It's really hard to get that across when I'm reading something, and not actually having anything physical to look at.

Thanks, Chris. I have to admit I was scared that I had too much description in the pilot Lol. In fact I actually skimmed back from the original pilot. I like using it to build atmosphere/tension and by the sounds of it I accomplished that.

Anyway, onto my thoughts on the overall plot -- I think it's brilliant. A werewolf show that brings its own mythology and rules to the table is so great to see. I love the idea of royal families, and Viseras. Original ideas like that only make the series more engaging for the audience, because it seems like you're really trying your best to get something new and fresh out of an idea that been around for such a long time.

Yeah, like I said above, I was really influenced by The Vampire Diaries but wanted to create a universe that had the same feel but different and original. I really hope I've accomplished that. The idea of the Royal bloodline actually sprouted from the legend of the birth of Rome. The legend tells of two brothers who were the sons of the god Mars. Long story short, Remus and Romulus were raised by wolves, they come back and seize the throne from their corrupt uncle. I modified it to fit my mythology but I really liked the idea of two brothers being the start of it all. Of course "There can only be one" and so blossoms the feud of the Royals and the Rebels. I'll shut up now because from here on out it's spoilerville Lol.

Your characters are awesome - like a lot of people have mentioned already, Milo is my favorite, so far. I feel like his backstory; how much he changed after the death of his mother, his recovery, and the new abilities he has obtained, is such an interesting piece of the bigger whole. I find myself drawn most to him, because he's not human, he's not a werewolf; he's something else. Mystery is my favorite thing in the world, and a good one always gets me excited! xD

Yeah, I don't like to pick favorites but Milo's past, present and future is one of my favorite story arcs in this season. He's got a LOT to do with the overall plot of the season, but as far as his changes after his mother's death, all that has a lot to do with Sara and her big secret. However that's not revealed until 1.08 Truth Seeker.

Elizabella was another high point for me in the pilot. The mystery unraveling with her character is already interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing her in future episodes, finding out how she knows the Alders, and if she was the girl behind the tree in that picture(??) Also, her "love." You set up a lot in the pilot, and I can't wait to see how it all unravels over the course of the show!

Elizabella's a fun character to write. Her past makes her a victim but her present makes her the bad guy. More unfolds over the first four episodes. She makes an appearance in the fourth episode where she explains to Gwen their connection and gives her a piece of information that startles Gwen. The fourth episode actually has a lot of information in it and spoilers without people knowing. Lol. You're welcome, world. We also find out who her lover is in the fourth episode as well.

On a technical side, you have some killer descriptions. The action and just the overall use of language in your script is amazing. The wolf fights, for example, we very well done. Very easy to visualize as well, which can be so hard sometimes. Some of the dialogue fell flat in places - sometimes feeling unnatural or too static. However, your script was not plagued by it, so it's something I'm sure will improve in future episodes.

Thanks, Chris!! Yeah, I'm really hoping the dialogue improves. The more I write the more I'm starting to understand the characters I'm writing. I mean it's one thing to create them and say this is where they've been and this is where they're going, but to actually understand their mindset is a completely different thing in itself. So, I'm really hoping the dialogue improves now that I'm understanding them as people.

Overall, this was a GREAT pilot! I've already found myself attached to characters like Milo, and Gwen; possibly more than Sara an Will, but I'm sure once Sara gets more involved with the Adler's, she'll appeal to me even more (not that she doesn't now! haha! I'm rambling, sorry) Anyway, this is definitely a series that deserves a lot of attention! I'm looking forward to begin reading the next 2 episodes, because it's Wicked Wednesday man! XD Haha!

I really don't know a different way of saying thank you Lol. To everyone who's commented Lol. And I'm sorry if my responses seem repetitive at all. I'm new Lol.

HAHA! I totally understand what you're saying. Once upon a time I couldn't even remember Caroline's name on TVD now we're planning a June wedding. Lmfao!! Some characters stand out more than others at certain parts of the story.

Wow, thanks for the compliment!! I truly appreciate it.

WICKED WEDNESDAYS all the way! Lol Thanks again for reading and reviewing!!!