101 Ways To Survive High School (w/ Pilot)

[Brian Melanson]

May 22, 2015 20:26:51 GMT -6 Darrin McCann said:

REVIEW - 101 Ways to Survive High School – It's Not the End of the World. It's High School

I want to start off with saying how much the premise of the show interested me. Especially in this day and age where the masses are flocking to social media to post everything from how the weather ruined their camping trip to how AMAZEBALLS the burrito from down the street was. This all done in 140 characters or less. This rings no truer than those of the High School variety. Teenagers spend more time online exposing their every moves, every decision is a poll and privacy is a thing of the past. So, to have a series based on a teenager who doesn't want to flaunt her insecurities but accidentally does just has comedy written all over it. And I'm old. Old people love making fun of young people. It's chemical.

Please forgive the next paragraph or so. I'm reading and reviewing as I go, so it may be a little scatter-brains at times. So please bear with me.

Starting off I have to say I'm a little disappointed we never got to see/read about that viral video in the teaser. I would have love to know at least one of her 101 ways to survive high school. But all is forgiven once we meet Fiona. To me she is an extremely exaggerated version of how Americans picture Australians to be. Her spider bit was funny. I really liked the interview cuts during the scene. I could totally picture it. Reminds me of the movie Mean Girls, 'Regina George punched me in the face once. It was awesome'. Speaking of Mean Girls we're introduced to Katerina. I love her back story. 'It was a crowded hot tub'. Her interactions with Hayley were pretty good up until Katerina's response to Hayley asking how the yeast infection was. I feel like that was a great victory for Hayley and could have been left at that. Especially when Katerina's next dialogue felt like you were trying to force a joke but to me it just didn't quite get there. Can I have a Fiona meme please? I love her Australian slang phrases for sex. 'Dingo ate my baby' might be my favorite. One thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was two very similar scenes where nothing is really happening except for her peers calling her a celebrity. I guess the reason I bring this up is that I don't see the point. You had this scene once. We, the reader, now know that Hayley is a local celebrity so why repeat it? I could see it happen again if it related to the plot in some way, say some director wanted to shoot a commercial at Serenity High and so Danny could then announce that she's a local celebrity. It relates to the plot, which so far I haven't been able to pinpoint exactly what the plot is. That's not to say what I have read hasn't been entertaining, because it has, it's just so far your whole Pilot is based on the reader getting to know your characters. Charlie and Mr. Parkwizers interactions are hilarious. Very Modern Family with the comedic timing. I kind of have a crush on Fiona. She's got that vulgarity to her I'm looking for in a best friend. 'Oh, what the f**k?!' had me literally laughing out loud. You definitely have an ear/eye/nose(?) for comedy.

Okay. Thoughts collected. I'm torn. I love the characters, I love your sense of humor, I just didn't love that the episode lacked direction. The plot of the Pilot really didn't begin until the third act when we get a Glee-inspired story of a drama club that will be no more if they can't get at least ten members. The comedy is there, the dialogue is decent, but that lack of plot and then when there is plot it's borderline Glee 2.0 is worrisome to me. If there was one thing I would change in the Pilot would be that third act but with knowing that you've already written a few episodes I know that is probably off the table.

Overall I enjoyed the characters and the comedic dialogue. The pilot itself was fun to read for what it was. I just hope that future episodes have plot from start to finish, make the readers feel like they've taken this journey with the characters. I look forward to see what is to come with this series.

Hey Darrin, thanks for reading the pilot! It's nice to know that people are reading it.

In terms of plot, the whole thing is about Hayley find her place. The reason why I kept repeating the fact that her video went viral is because it annoys her until she finally cracks at the Drama Class. We won't see the video for a while. The video is not the main premise of the story. It's more along the lines of Hayley's backstory. And for the 101 Ways To Survive High School, The 101 tips will last for the entire series, the episode titles themselves are the titles of the tips, while the plot of episode is an experience for the characters. Now in each episode, it won't be reflected on. I don't want to stop the episode dead and have Hayley review each tip and what she learned, it wouldn't flow well. It all comes together and is kind of a long game to the series which I planned out from the start.

This series is about Hayley finding her place, and how I found my place, was the Drama Club and the experiences I had from it. But in no way will this show become Glee 2.0. Where Glee went wrong was that it relied on big names and songs. With "101" it's going to rely on the characters and what drives them. Drama Club for me seems like the perfect setting. Arts in Schools are always put down as a low-budget thing and thats going to drive the force to bring the characters to fight for what they love. This episode was, in reality, a way to let the audience meet the characters and show them what is to come. Which is a journey of a teenage girl who will fight to be normal and more than "the girl who made a viral video". Also this is technically a two parter that is 1x01 and 1x02. But easily, if picked up, I will go back and add a bit more direction to the episodes, now after writing more episodes and finally getting a groove.

I do love writing Fiona, she's seriously a great one to write, just being able to write her having no filter is great. I have plans for her in future episodes. The comedy is based a lot in satire. Because I don't want this to be any normal comedy. But while the show will have elements that Glee did, NO WAY am I making this Glee. That show was good for one season then went down the tubes. But I will admit, Glee did inspire a bit and will be a joke in the show, which is fun.

But thanks for reading and giving your input, hope what I said cleared up some confusion, but I thank you again Darrin!

[Jay Paterson]

REVIEW | 101: It’s Not The End of the World, It’s High School

What a fun and fast paced read. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this reading that it would have similarities to both, Glee and Parks & Rec. Which I am a fan of neither. But you were right when you wrote "a better version" before that because I really enjoyed this. You have some stand out characters and I already love, Fiona, Maureen and Riley. They are all fun to read for and give great execution when it comes to comedy. One thing I absolutely adored about this show was the interview scenes, they made for some great moments and its a pretty cool way to get to know our characters out-with the over all plot of the episodes. One of my favourite interview scenes would be at the beginning with Fiona when she talks about the spiders in Australia. Haha she cracks me up and you can totally see Rebel Wilson as this character, its hilarious. Overall I feel the show's premise is pretty solid. I do see myself tuning in every week to read this because I already feel invested in the characters and Hayley seems to be a great lead. I look forward to seeing her relationship with Danny progress. I already ship them. Lol.

However, I do have to agree with what some of the guys have mentioned before. In terms of the plot in the first episode I feel like its missing something. I understand that this YouTube video is hung over her head throughout the entire episode, with scenes like the boy shouting things at her in the hallway to people watching the video and laughing to even her friends continuing to call her a local celebrity, I feel like if these things led up to something bigger happening in the episode it would make for a better pay off when it came around to Hayley and Maureen having that conversation. I think theres too scenes where her friends mention that she's now famous, theres probably not a need for them to mention it again, especially if they know how much she hates it. So taking out one of those scenes and replacing it with something more significant happening it would make it more satisfying when Hayley storms out the auditorium because she's had enough. 

Another thing I picked up on was that everyone who has reviewed this has mention how much they would love to see, or see parts of the famous Youtube video. I think its one of the most unique things about the pitch and it definitely has me intrigued. Was it not your original idea to start the or end the episode with one of Hayleys rules? I think that would be pretty cool to see, it would definitely be a fun way to open the pilot.  I know your not wanting to show this video as its not the main focus of the show but even just having that little snippet of the video in the pilot might give us readers some satisfaction until we see more in the future. 

Anyway those are just two things that stuck in my head. Other than that I really do enjoy this show and hope it gets picked up. I see you've posted a second episode too, I will be sure to check that out when I have free time. Good luck with this Brian I hope to see it succeed here on theVPN. 

[Brian Melanson]

May 25, 2015 10:32:55 GMT -6 Jay Paterson said:

REVIEW | 101: It’s Not The End of the World, It’s High School

What a fun and fast paced read. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this reading that it would have similarities to both, Glee and Parks & Rec. Which I am a fan of neither. But you were right when you wrote "a better version" before that because I really enjoyed this. You have some stand out characters and I already love, Fiona, Maureen and Riley. They are all fun to read for and give great execution when it comes to comedy. One thing I absolutely adored about this show was the interview scenes, they made for some great moments and its a pretty cool way to get to know our characters out-with the over all plot of the episodes. One of my favourite interview scenes would be at the beginning with Fiona when she talks about the spiders in Australia. Haha she cracks me up and you can totally see Rebel Wilson as this character, its hilarious. Overall I feel the show's premise is pretty solid. I do see myself tuning in every week to read this because I already feel invested in the characters and Hayley seems to be a great lead. I look forward to seeing her relationship with Danny progress. I already ship them. Lol.

However, I do have to agree with what some of the guys have mentioned before. In terms of the plot in the first episode I feel like its missing something. I understand that this YouTube video is hung over her head throughout the entire episode, with scenes like the boy shouting things at her in the hallway to people watching the video and laughing to even her friends continuing to call her a local celebrity, I feel like if these things led up to something bigger happening in the episode it would make for a better pay off when it came around to Hayley and Maureen having that conversation. I think theres too scenes where her friends mention that she's now famous, theres probably not a need for them to mention it again, especially if they know how much she hates it. So taking out one of those scenes and replacing it with something more significant happening it would make it more satisfying when Hayley storms out the auditorium because she's had enough. 

Another thing I picked up on was that everyone who has reviewed this has mention how much they would love to see, or see parts of the famous Youtube video. I think its one of the most unique things about the pitch and it definitely has me intrigued. Was it not your original idea to start the or end the episode with one of Hayleys rules? I think that would be pretty cool to see, it would definitely be a fun way to open the pilot.  I know your not wanting to show this video as its not the main focus of the show but even just having that little snippet of the video in the pilot might give us readers some satisfaction until we see more in the future. 

Anyway those are just two things that stuck in my head. Other than that I really do enjoy this show and hope it gets picked up. I see you've posted a second episode too, I will be sure to check that out when I have free time. Good luck with this Brian I hope to see it succeed here on theVPN. 

Jay, you are seriously an adorable cupcake with sprinkles.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and give your feedback. And after re-reading the pilot a thousand times, I do think I should probably expand on a few things that lead to Hayley storming out of the Auditorium after Maureen notices that she is the girl who made the video. When I first wrote the series, I never really intended to show the video, but now seeing as how we could just have snippets of it, thanks for that idea btw didn't think of that, could possibly fix the pilot. If picked up the pilot will be re-written to some aspect. I have gone back and edited past episodes because they did lack that direction, and with Jack helping me, it's been great.

I am so happy you love the characters! Riley is seriously the Anti-Hayley. But they both work together in such a great way in future episodes that it's a friendship in the show I never want to end. Fiona seriously just came to me just to be that character that makes you laugh, I am so happy people are enjoying her. After a lot of thinking, I do have a story for her that is really interesting, but it really makes sense. And Maureen (played by the LOVELY Mamrie Hart) was that character I knew I needed to have to be the ecstatic Drama Teacher who tells these kids not to give up on their dreams. And with episode two, the one I have posted I am going back into that and extending it with a few more scenes. Just a little note on that.

But again thank you for the advice! It's something everyone has been telling me I need to fix and I have been ripping my hair out on what I could do with it. You did this with the Path and you did it this show. But thanks again, hope you enjoy episode two because it's in technical the 2nd part of the pilot, but is still an episode on it's own with it's own crazy adventure in Serenity High.