Carey's Random Movie Reviews

[Carey]

Movie

Inception - 10/10
District 9 - 10/10
Serenity - 10/10
The Terminator - 9/10
The Rocker - 8/10
D.E.B.S. - 7/10
Resident Evil 4: Afterlife - 3/10
New Moon - 2/10

[Carey]

10/10 - Perfect
Great character development, intriguing plot. Very few flaws. Overall a top episode.

9/10 - Excellent
Slightly flawed, but very good character development and plot.

8/10 - Great
Some flaws here and there but the character development and/or plot makes us overlook those.

7/10 - Good
Flawed in places but the characers and/or plot bring it up.

6/10 - OK
Bad stuff mixed in with the good. Little bit more good than bad though.

5/10- Average
Needs work. Has some good stuff, but a bad plot or characterisation.

4/10 - Poor
Some good scenes, maybe some relevance to plot/characters but too problematic.

3/10 - Bad
Some nuggets of good stuff, but FAR too much bad/useless stuff.

2/10 - Terrible
Almost unwatchable/unreadable. Maybe a scene or two or useful stuff, but far too flawed

1/10 - Disastrous
Bearly anything worth noticing. Very little "OK" stuff, if any. A failure.

[Carey]

D.E.B.S

My first movie review... Kinda daunting. Ok, this is a movie that I had heard about and bought. I like a good love story as long as it is done right and this movie does it right. It has tounge-in-cheek humour, some good acting and a love story that works well.

D.E.B.S. is a comedy/action/spy/romance movie about four recent high-school graduates who were turned spys (Or D.E.B.S.). There is Amy, the "Perfect Score" since she scored a 100% in the secret test in the SATs. Max, the somewhat obsessive leader of this group of D.E.B.S, The French-accented Dominique who's addicted to sex and the naive Janet.

Then there is Lucy Diamond, the world famous criminal who's crimes include trying to sink Australia (It's a comedy) and who also falls for Amy. After several encounters Lucy convinces Amy to go with her. The D.E.B.S. mount a nation-wide search for Amy, who is out enjoying herself with Lucy. Eventually the D.E.B.S. get a lead and find her and Lucy having sex. At this point Amy has to decide between the D.E.B.S and Lucy. She chooses the former.

She lives the next few days unhappy while Lucy goes to destroy Australia with the most ridiculous looking cannon that I've ever seen. Her henchman Scud is able to calm her down and together they put a plan to win Amy's heart back. After Lucy returns the money she has stolen and projecting a valentine message into the sky like a Bat-Signal, her and Scud plan to break into Endgame, the D.E.B.S. version of a Prom. Amy is forced to give a speech that tells of her time with Lucy as hell. Lucy walks in and is saddened by this. Amy sees her and retracts her entire speech, saying "...The truth is, the time I spent with Lucy Diamond were the happiest days of my life". She and Lucy then meet in a storage area, very similar to the one they met in. The D.E.B.S. catch up to them but Max realises her best friend is in love. She lets them go and misdirects the security team.

Amy and Lucy drive off into a beautiful night.




Now after that long recap, which I most likely won't do in future reviews, its time to see what works and what doesn't.

The love story between Amy and Lucy is well written and feels real and the chemistry between Lucy and Amy is very good. Although their relationship is "forbidden" by the other characters, its because Lucy is a criminal, not because they are lesbians. Unlike alot of other movies that will have lesbian subtext and sexual tension, but will rarely act upon it, the lesbian theme is presented in a very matter-of-fact way. They establish the attration that Amy and Lucy have for each other and get right into it. I respect that.

The the film is full of tounge-in-cheek humour that satirizes teen, action and over-the-top spy shows all at once, and the banter between Lucy and Scud is funny to say the least. The humour isn't laugh out loud kind, just subtle and entertaining.

The film does have its set backs though. The character of Amy seems bland and a little shallow when compared to Lucy. The ending is predictable, and alot of the second half of the film has little humour, focusing on the plot instead of satirizing it which goes against what the writer originally intended.

Overall, this is a pretty good movie. Not one of the best ever made but is still entertaining. Underneath all the humor is a coming-out story, done differently.
I give this film a 7/10
Flawed in places but the characers and/or plot bring it up.

[Carey]

The Rocker

My kind of movie. Some great music, some pretty funny moments and a decent look on someone who fails at something and asks themselves "What if?" over a long period of time

In the 80's, the main character Robert "Fish" Fisherman is the drummer for a band called Vesuvius. The band is offered a record contract on the terms that they replace Fish with the Labels CEO's son. 20 years later, Fish is living a bland life while Vesuvius is one of the biggest bands in the world. Then opportunity strikes: his nephews band, A.D.D., needs a drummer. He joins and after failing at the Prom and being the face of a Youtube sensation, they get signed.

They have a wild time on the road until their manager gets them into opening up for Vesuvius. When Fish refuses to open for them, the manager cons the lead guitarist to kick him from the band. After realising their mistake he returns and plays the show. When Vesuvius are on stage, the crowd realises they are lip-syncing and boos them off stage and calls Fish and the rest on stage.

A pretty decent movie. Being hung up on being kicked out of a band for 20 years seems a little much, but it gets the point across: this was his entire life. The rest of the band of A.D.D. is pretty funny, each adding in something new (The emoness of the guitarness, the punk-vibe of the bassist and the awkwardness of the keyboardest). Vesuvius become arrogant and vain in the years after firing Fish, a look at how fame changes a person and how being fired may have been a good thing for Fish.

The music in the film is pretty decent, but nothing great. Vesuvius's songs are pretty average compared to other great metal bands of the 80's (Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, Judas Priest). A.D.D.'s music I can't comment on since I'm not a fan of that style.

This is pretty good film, worthy of watching at least once. Why the people at the concert dugg A.D.D. more than Vesuvius, even though they have HUGE musical differences is strange but whatever...
Overall, I give this a 8/10
Some flaws here and there but the character development and/or plot makes us overlook those.

[Carey]

New Moon

The other day I was forced by my girlfriend to watch New Moon. I decided instead of beating my brains out with a club, I would write a review to it.

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A FANGIRL REVIEW. DO NOT EXPECT IT TO BE NICE.

Ok, now we got that out the way, here it is.

I hated the first movie. This one did no better. Shit story, shit characters, shit love triangles.
Seriously, how did the books or films get any attention at all?

Ok, enough hating, to the real review.

It starts out in a field, with long and awkward stares. Theres an old woman that is actually the main character Bella in about 50 years or so. Its a dream of her fear of growing old because her emo vampire boyfriend Edward may not want her anymore at that age. Who would want her at all? A shit character and a shit actor, seriously.

Its her birthday, and she's all pissy about it. I despise her already. A bunch of nothing happens then its her birthday party, where she gets a paper cut, and a vampire has an actual brain wave and tries to kill her. But the rest of the idiots decide that she is worth saving. Then a bunch more emo shit happens, which brings up the question: Why is everyone so emo? Seriously, it makes me want to kill myself.

Edward finally breaks up with her, theres some talk about souls as well, so... when did this become Buffy? Then Bella decides to sit in a chair for 4 months and not move an inch. Or something like that, I have no idea. She screams in her sleep, which sounds more like Demon blood detoxing (Supernatural fans will get the reference.)

She finally goes to town and sees a bunch of motorbike dudes and decides to go riding with them. Seriously, I know she didn't have a brain before, but she's officially stupider than a zombie.

Then she starts hanging out with a character that has at least a little depth to his character, but still guest stars in TV shows have more depth than this guy. Some more shit happens, she falls of a motorbike.

A vamp from the last movie comes along, and tries to kill her (Finally!) But a bunch of oversized wolves come out of the forest and chase the vamp away. A bunch of boring info happens. Apparently, some native Indian tribe is able to turn into wolves or something like that. Eventually another vamp comes to kill her, but the wolves keep chasing her away, then Bella decides to jump into the sea. Unfortuantly she doesn't die.

Then a old friend vamp comes into town and they go to Italy to save Edward cos he things Bella killed herself. She goes there, saves him, gets captured by the local Vampire society. Theres a slow-mo fight that feels makes me feel like this is the Matrix. The vampire society decides that Bella has to die, so Edward and friends go home sad that she will have to die.

Edward and Jacob have a non-fight, and the movie ends with Edward proposing. I'm surprised I haven't killed myself yet.

Ok, lets weight the Pros and the Cons.
Pro's...Uh... well at least it has some resemblance of a plot. Sometimes. I'm still not sure what the plot is. It jumps around, having no clear sense of direction. It does continue the story, so I have to give it points there. Sorry to all haters.

Cons... where do I start. The characters couldn't get any more 2D than they already are. Actually the most interesting are sidelined and get about 3 lines each. The amount of Emoness is far beyond suicidal. The writer, producer, actually everyone connected in the making of this should be forced to watch Veronica Mars, it does a teen drama without the emo.

The acting...the less said the better. Except Michael Sheen. Only he was wasted in this film. He should have been the lead. FAR BETTER FILM.

Other things, the vampire and werewolves suck. Majorly. Also why doesn't any guy wear a shirt. It makes me sick.

Overall, I give this a: 2/10
Almost unwatchable/unreadable. Maybe a scene or two or useful stuff, but far too flawed

[Carey]

Inception

Now I don't watch a lot of films, but I have to say I am glad I went to see this one. It was absolutely terrific. The plot was excellent. The acting in this film was great, each actor perfect for their respective roles.

From several countries around the world to a dream inside a dream inside a dream...yeah you get what I mean. It's a little complex but its not that hard to follow. Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is an Extractor, he steals information from targets by uploading them into a dream world. After a failed extraction, the former target employs them to perform an "inception", using dreams to secretly implant an idea. Having failed the current mission and realizing the consequences of being terminated by their employer, Cobal Engineering, the team accept Saito's offer.

If you have not seen this, you must go and watch. Just remember not to think of it as a basic action movie, because its easy to get lost. Actually, I need to go back and re-watch this just to really see what the hell happened.

Anyway, I give this: 10/10
Great character development, intriguing plot. Very few flaws. Overall a top film.

[Carey]

District 9

Now I went in expecting to see a straight action movie, but it was different and better than what I expected. Wikus van de Merwe, an Afrikaner bureaucrat assigned to relocate a race of extraterrestrial creatures unexpectedly stranded on Earth, derogatorily referred to as "prawns", from District 9, a military-guarded slum in Johannesburg, South Africa, to an internment camp outside the city.

It is filmed in a documentary way for some of the film and switches to "normal" camera for other parts. It works extremely well. The main character has ironic character development as he becomes more humane and he becomes less human. Unlike alot of main characters, he is selfish, cowardly and basically racist "or alienist" I suppose. The aliens are also characters and make you feel sympathy for them. The themes of xenophobia and racism are used to the max, from the back-story to the main story and it works perfectly. The end has no real conclusion, leaving it open for a sequel or could be just left as it is to show the racial conflict can't be solved easily.

This is a must-see film. The themes are strong, the story is strong, the characters are strong. It is the best sci-fi film for years.
Overall, I give 10/10
Great character development, intriguing plot. Very few flaws. Overall a top episode.

[Carey]

Resident Evil 4: Afterlife

Mindless action, mixed in with numerous plot holes, extremely unbelievable coincidences and a couple of lines of shitty dialogue. That's Resident Evil Afterlife summed up.

This movie couldn't be worse, its got less story than RE5, it has zero emotion put in and even the action was shit. Wesker was sort of decent, but his actor was bad.... He changed his accent every line. COME ON! At least he got to beat up Alice and take away her powers, which does fuck all since she can still defy gravity, kick ass and apply make-up at the same time. I think Chris and Claire got something like 3 scenes together, the rest was Alice being a Mary-sue. All I wanted was Wesker and Chris and Claire scenes. Instead... Alice. Sometimes several Alice's on screen at once. WHY?!

By the way, Claire loses her memory but that doesn't matter at all. They find the guy from Prison Break...uh I mean Chris in prison. The Executioner from RE5 turns up and copy's the Steve scene from Code Veronica. The Executioner does fuck all for the story and nothing about him is explained. Nor the plagas zombies. But that's OK because of slow-mo and 3D, right? Didn't think so.

Anyway, they kill off the Red Shirts (Who were boring as fuck) and eventually fight Wesker. Which was a total copy from RE5. He also seemed to lose his powers when fighting Alice due to her Mary-Sueness but he survives anyway. And escapes on his helicopter thing. Alice, however, predicted that he would do that and placed his Purge bomb on it, not counting the fact that theres a dozen more helicopters in that same bay. It then explodes...but Wesker didn't die. COME ON! Its Wesker. He could easily put on a parachute, open the back and have a cup of tea. Plus I saw a parachute so he's alive. Then a fleet of helicopters descend on Alice, led by a blond and hot Jill Valentine. So theres gonna be another sequal. Just perfect.

This was shit. It's the worst in the series, and the worst movie I have seen in a long time besides Twilight. Please give the rights to George Romero, at least his script had some sort of decency to it. Or make more CGI films, just get rid of Angela and give Leon his personality back. Problem solved.

Overall, I give this a 3/10
Some nuggets of good stuff, but FAR too much bad/useless stuff.

[Carey]

It has been over a year since my last review... time goes so fast these days. Time to get back into it.

Serenity

Serenity is the sequal to the tv series Firefly which, like many others, was cancelled WAY too early. Firefly was hailed by some as one of the best TV series ever to be made, so Serenity had alot to live up to.

Did it live up to the enourmous expectations? Absolutely.

Set six months after the final episode "Objects In Space", it follows the events of the crew of Serenity as they try to evade the Operative and his attempts to capture River.

The whole cast is back, some in lesser roles than they were, just as well characterized as they were in the TV series, especially Mal and River. Kaylee and Simon have a coy romantic subplot. Jayne is still awesome and gets all the good one-liners. Wash and Zoe don't have a lot to do, but the movie isn't really about them.

The Operative is the villian and is one of the best things about the film. The idea of belief and "what do you fight for" is a part of the film and this guy is built around these ideas. He was a joy to watch and I loved him.

We finally get see Reavers, hearing alot about them in the series but only ever seeing their ships and a bit of their handywork. We only see short shots of them, but what we see is quite terrifying.

The film has Joss's typical sense of humour, well written characters, great dialogue and emotional scenes. Exactly what I was expecting from him.

Overall, it was a grand film. If you're a fan of Firefly, you'll love it. If you've never seen Firefly, you'll love it.

I give this 10/10
Great character development, intriguing plot. Very few flaws. A great watch.

[Amin]

^Amen to that. I love that film to death.

[Carey]

The Terminator

What can I say about this classic Sci-Fi action film other than IT'S AWESOME! One of James Cameron's best films, it became one of the great films from the 1980's. Plus it starred Arnold Schwarzenegger in his most iconic role.

In the future, machines take over the earth and hunt down the remaining humans, who fight back under the leadership of John Connor. To combat this, they send back a Terminator to kill his mother Sarah before he is born. The resistance also sends a man back, Kyle Reese, to protect her at all costs.

Right there are two different issues, the anti-nuke issue and the fear of the rapid rise of technology. Both of these issues are still prevelant in modern society, maybe not the technology one but the anti-nuclear weapons is still an important issue.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the Terminator and he does it perfectly. He acts perfectly like a machine and talks like a machine, even his iconic line "I'll be back". There is no-one else that can play a Terminator like Schwarzenegger.

With the rest of the cast, Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor, they each were good characters, even if some of their lines weren't delivered that well. There were some cheesy parts, that "We loved a life times worth" especially and their love story wasn't up to scratch but still enjoyable. The character development is Sarah from a immature girl to a strong woman is just another reason why I love this film, being that many films don't even have character development anymore, including Cameron's own Avatar (That's another story though).

Some of the Special Effects doesn't look as good as they do these days, but back then it was off the charts. That scene where the Terminator walks through the fire was definetly scary even though it is obviously stop-motion. That final confrontation is still one of the most tense scenes in an action film I've seen in a long time.

This movie a true classic, showing a fear still prevelant today, plus with Arnold Schwarzenegger and his classic line at the helm, it is one grand movie.

I give this 9/10
Slightly flawed, but very good character development and plot.