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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 6, 2012 11:57:01 GMT -6
Thanks for the review, Jay! It means a lot!
* And before I reply, I just wanted to let everyone know, that I will not be stuffing my replies into a spoiler tag anymore. I just find it very clunky having to shove everything into one of those tags. XD So I just wanted everyone to know. And if you guys want to leave your reviews in the spoiler tags, it's totally cool. I just don't prefer them. XD
Okay, now it's time to reply:
I'm glad you enjoyed this episode. I really wanted to have an episode that mainly featured Paula, and her struggles at doing her job. And it took me a little while to figure out how I was going to achieve this in ten pages. XD So, I'm glad you liked it.
Yea, Michael is very, very protective. XD And yes, stubborn as well. But I'm really hoping that everyone will open up to him, in his sort of "main" episode once Arc 2 rolls around. XD
Thanks again, Jay! I hope you enjoy it when Alex and Alisha go to acting school. XD They don't get a very warm welcome once they're there. HAHAHA.
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Post by Jack Malone on Aug 8, 2012 6:07:12 GMT -6
Review: "Hollywood Trouble"A great follow up from the premiere. I like how the spotlight did shift on Paula in this one because her introduction in the first episode was my favourite part - she's so awkward and quirky, and I really like this whole combination of amateurs paired up with amateurs. What this episode does most is establish a gang - Michael, being the main conflict of this gang coming together as his protective side over his son comes through and he's trying to make sure Alex gets the best out of this arrangement, and does reach his dreams. I do have to say that Michael irked me a little, but it was completely realistic and truthful - if there wasn't someone saying "Hey, Paula is inexperienced here, guys" then it would have felt unrealistic, so I like that you had Michael play the sort of "big bad", despite his intentions being good for his son.
Something that I really liked about this episode was that Michael's inability to believe in Paula seemed to be what was getting in the way of Alex and Alisha's big break. Once he sort of accepted that he should give her a chance, something Paula was begging for in this episode, she was able to come through for the aspiring actors. I just love that.
You've really got something great here, Brady. Great characters. Great conflicts. And the episode ended on a great note. So really, another 10/10 from me.
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 8, 2012 7:02:27 GMT -6
Thanks for the review, Jack! I know I say this on every review, but all this feedback does really help! ;D
I really, really, really wanted to a 'Paula' episode. I felt like displaying how hard she's actually trying to work would actually show everyone that she indeed is attempting to make Alex and Alisha successful. And I really wanted people to hate Michael in this episode. ...I know that sounds really bad, but I just did, because I want to make this show as realistic as I can, ya know? Not everyone will get along; an audition won't always end up at their doorstep. So, glad I achieved it!
Paula and Michael are going to have a love/hate relationship for a while. Mostly hate, though. XD But I really hope people like the moments when it turns into not-so-much hate, ya know? XD
And all these 10/10 is giving me SO MUCH PRESSURE. HAHAHA. I'm totally kidding... Okay, no. Maybe.
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 9, 2012 19:05:11 GMT -6
Thanks for the review, Jay! And so soon, too. XD
Slowly and progressively Alisha will ease out of her shell, but it probably won't be for a while, I'm sorry to say. She's still trying to get used to Hollywood and being with people she's never socialized with. XD So, it'll probably take a her a little bit. But next week she really makes a huge step when she and Angela -- yea, I know XD -- are forced to work together. And Alex and Michael are super, super, super, super stubborn. XD I'm trying to make them similar in a way, and different in another.
Jordan and Angela are soooo freaking bitchy it's not even funny. XD And, honestly, you're going to hate Jordan so much more next episode. XD And you might slightly like Angela more...maybe, I don't know.
And next week, we won't see their first day at class, but we'll actually get to see them there. They've been there for about....a week or two, I think. XD
Thanks again, Jay! Super glad you're enjoying the episodes! Hope you like next week's just as much. ;D
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Ms. Kerry
VPN Community Member
Fight the good fight, Tony, I hate nap time too.
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Post by Ms. Kerry on Aug 9, 2012 19:23:37 GMT -6
Review 1x03 - "Acting 101"
Okay so I really liked how the episode started, I thought it was very nice and funny. Paula again being Paula was wonderful and I liked the interaction with everyone here. I also really like how Alex and Alisha handled themselves in the class. Good for Alex sticking up for her!
However, I did have one issue this time. I didn't like our evil pair in the class, especially Angela. I know they are supposed to be the stereo typical jerks and all but their dialogue was very...blatant and it seemed a little unrealistic. I think that could have used some fine-tuning.
Other than that it was good and I can't wait to see what else happens.
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Post by Jamison on Aug 9, 2012 20:06:11 GMT -6
Brady, you've got two back-to-back reviews coming up!
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Post by Jamison on Aug 9, 2012 22:07:27 GMT -6
Review: 1x02 - "Hollywood Trouble"
I really liked the pilot. It was a great set up for the show, but I liked episode two even more, because you took what was introduced in the pilot, and moved forward in a meaningful way. I find that many "second episodes" can't hold a light to a pilot, and often fall short due to lack of direction and focus, but this wasn't the case here.
What I liked most about this episode was my favorite character.. Paula. She's just so likable, and even though she's not the best agent in the word, I find myself rooting for her to get better. Really love that character. Her being hilarious doesn't hurt a bit either! haha!
I liked Michael's contempt for Paula. I feel like those two are going to have some moments later on. haha! I may be wrong, but that's just my speculative guess.
All the technical sides of the show have improved loads from the pilot, even though they were not lacking in quality. However, the dialogue, overall, felt more unique and natural, which is a plus. I really feel good about this show, and I'm so glad it's airing here on VPN.
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 10, 2012 19:44:02 GMT -6
Thanks for the review, Kerry! Sorry it took a little while for me to reply, I didn't see it until just now. XD
As always, thank you for enjoying Paula so much. XD I'm glad it came across as funny, because that's totally what I'm going for. And yea, Alex will always stick up for Alisha, if she seems like she can't handle herself, which is most of the time. XD Like I said on Jay's review, Alisha will gradually become more and more confident, but it will take a while. HAHAHA.
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy Jordan and Angela. And I didn't mean for their dialogue to come across that way, and I'm sorry it took away from the flow.
Thanks again, Kerry! _________________________________________________________________
Thanks for the review...again, Chris! XD
Again, I'm glad that you found this episode much more enjoyable than the pilot. As a writer, is always super awesome to know that you've improved from the pilot, which a bunch of people seem to enjoy a whole lot. XD
Paula, Paula, Paula. XD Oh, how everyone loves her so much. I mean, Paula kinda stinks at her job, if I was going to be honest. XD And I really want people to root for her, so I'm glad everyone is!
And Michael and Paula... I already have plans for both of them, whether or not they grow closer to each other or not. So, hopefully I'll be able to show everybody. XD
I'm glad you really enjoyed this episode, Chris, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the Sequence! ;D
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Post by Jack Malone on Aug 16, 2012 20:05:07 GMT -6
Review: "Acting 101" I really enjoyed this episode. So, Paula has come through for the team, and rocks up with excitement to tell Alex and Alisha, which leads to quite a hilarious scene. I really loved how Alex was complaining about the time difference between now, and when the class actually was - "and you woke us up at six because..." I seriously hate getting woken up for something earlier than I need. Kills the time I could be having a damn good nap, lmao. Speaking of Alex, I was a bit confused as to why he seemed so reluctant about this class. Maybe it was the idea that it wasn't such a quick break - we know that he is a little impatient sometimes, so maybe it was an extension of that. Either way, it was nice to have that balance between him and Alisha - someone who seems to just roll with the punches, and make the most out of what is handed to her. Its a nice contrast between the two. This episode also introduce two new characters, who, I have to say, I disagree with Kerry on this, but can totally see what she means. I liked them, because there are snobby people, and stuck-up people in this world, and a lot of the time when you think of actors and actresses in the industry, you often think of those kinds of people who think they're above it all. I thought you played well off that with these two characters, and I think its realistic in the sense that they'd want to mark their territory. Yeah, I just really liked their inclusion. It gives Alex and Alisha some competition and conflict to overcome, and lets us further root for the team. XD One of my favourite parts was Michael saying "Then I trust you, Paula." *dead* And the ending was probably the best part, with Alisha saying "we're going to show them what we can do." Really excited about what the rest of this arc will bring about. Another great episode, Brady. 10/10. Review: "Sing-Off" This episode had a great premise. You introduced these two characters in the previous episode that promised to cause some conflict, and in this one, you gave it a twist - Alisha and Angela were forced to work together.
First off, in case she's a recurring character, I'll talk about the new teacher, Ms. Carlyle. I like her. Mainly because she seems like such an optimist who kind of embodies what I could picture as a drama/acting teacher. I could just see crazy hand gestures and stuff coming from a character like this, and I think you brought her to life really well through her dialogue, even if she wasn't a huge factor in this episode. Either she's oblivious to the conflict between Alisha and Angela, or knew exactly what was going on between them and used this as a tool to ease that. Anyway, I thought it was great to do a pair up and sing off with two characters who clearly don't get along.
Secondly, the actual sing-off itself was great, and you described the movements and the actions really well to suit the song. I felt it dragged in some places, and could have been cut up a bit better - maybe, catch up with Michael and Paula, or just intertwine it with some other scene. But then, I realised it also had a lot to do with me not reading the scene with that song in my head. So I looked up the song, and read over it, and it worked. So, I don't have that problem anymore. I had to look it at from a "Glee" perspective - this was the big final number to close the episode out. And it worked! I love that through the action you managed to tell that story for their assignment, as well as through the obvious song choice/lyrics. As well as that, you used this performance to further play on that drama between them, which I thought was very cleverly done.
As for how the episode ended, I was quite shocked. I didn't actually expect to see a violent relationship come out of what Angela/Jordan have. And I never expected Angela and Jordan to be anything more than the sterotypical, and over exaggerated "stuck up" kind of aspiring stars, so you caught me really off guard in a really great way. I'm kind of hoping Alisha and Angela establish a friendship, and she is able to help Angela, while Alex beats the crap out of Jordan, lmao. No, but really. If Jordan doesn't get some redeeming qualities, he needs to have the crap beat out of him. Brutally.
Oh, and I laughed at the "representation of One Direction..." part. So funny.
I am a little upset at Michael's comments in the beginning of the episode, but its very true to his character. The last episode just gave me this little fraction of hope that their relationship would sort of slowly move forward, but it seemed to take a bit of a pause in this episode. That said, Paula still keeps her high spirits, which I think is great. I think, should these two get together, they'd be a nice contrast, similar to the contrast between Alex and Alisha, which is another great aspect of the show.
Ultimately, this was my least favourite from the string of episodes so far, however, it was in no way bad. I'd give it a 9/10. My only real strife was with what I said above about the sing-off, even though, in the end, I could appreciate and enjoy how it was done. Anyway, I'm looking forward to future episodes. I seriously love finding new episodes of 'Audition' to read. Its a really great, and unique show for the VPN. Love it!
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Post by Jamison on Aug 16, 2012 21:44:37 GMT -6
Review: 1.03 "Acting 101" Another good episode. I loved the first few pages. Paula is hilarious, as usual, and I know I say this a lot, but her awkwardness and general bubbly personality is probably one of the best things about the show. I love it when Alex gets tired of her explaining about the acting class, and the website, and how annoyed he gets. Very funny. Paula brings out a lot of humor in the characters around her, as well, which is a great trait to have for a character. I liked the idea for this episode too. Alex and Alisha getting to acting class and meeting their first piece of competition. Jordan and Angela are kind of like their complete opposites, and I really can't wait to see how they play off of each other in future episodes... if they are in any future episodes. I liked the addition to the list of characters, but I do see where Kerry is coming from about the dialogue. I don't think it wasn't well-written or unrealistic, but it may have been too "on the nose" and stiff. You say in the script that they were "typical snobs" and while the dialogue should reflect on that description, I think it might have been too "typical." We don't get a sense of real personality from either characters. But introducing characters is really hard, especially in a webisode series, when you've got less time to flesh them out so, I know they'll just improve in the future. Overall, I really liked the episode! Review: 1.04: "The Sing-Off" This episode was good as well. Damn, Brady. You're good. I really loved the drama you included in this episode. Angela and Alisha having to work together. Bound to be problems there, and it was great to see lots of development from Angela that we didn't quite get in the previous episode. We still don't know much about her really, but I saw a real character here, and her toxic relationship with Jordan is makes her very interesting, and I'm looking forward to seeing where that leads in the future. The actual sing-off was interesting. Like Jack, I really liked the way you did it, however it might have taken up too much space that could have been given to more character development. But I know why it was done, and without me being able to actually watch the scene, you executed what seems like such a complicated and tiring scene to write, very smoothly. I was able to follow it pretty easy, so good job on that. I think I like this episode as much as the last, but I like them in different ways. This episode takes the arc of Jordan and Angela to new heights, and I'm just looking forward to the next set of episodes!
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Ms. Kerry
VPN Community Member
Fight the good fight, Tony, I hate nap time too.
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Post by Ms. Kerry on Aug 16, 2012 22:04:31 GMT -6
Thanks for being able to word things better for me Chris XD
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 17, 2012 14:26:25 GMT -6
RESPONSE: Jack's Review of 'Acting 101'
Yay! Glad you liked the opening scene. I really wanted Paula to come through for the team, to show that she is actually trying to make these kids successful. You know, before Michael gets fed up and fires her at the end of the Sequence. Hehe...he.
Yea, Alex only wants big roles. He, honestly, doesn't want to go to school, he doesn't want to go through the whole process of becoming an actor, he just wants to act. XD So, Alisha does ground him, and tries to convince him that all these things will actually help them become successful. So, yeah, glad you liked the contrast between the two. XD
I really want people to hate Angela and Jordan, because I want them to root for Alex and Alisha even more than they already do. And, let's be honest, everyone you come into contact with will not like you, ya know? That make sense? Okay. Moving on. Yea, Jordan and Angela have been in the class for some time, and they are, indeed, the best actors in the class, and they really don't want any competition, which Alex and Alisha bring them.
Why do you want Michael and Paula together so bad?! XD I hope you realize that every time I write dialogue between them, it's going to sound flirty to me no matter what... THANKS. XD And yea, I'm trying to get Alisha to become more and more confident in her ability to sing and act, and realize that she doesn't need Alex to do everything in her life. ANOTHER 10/10?! Omfg. The pressure. _________________________________________________________________
RESPONSE: Jack's Review of 'The Sing-Off'
Mooooooving on to the next review....
Ms. Carlyle will only appear if they kids are in acting class. That is her domain and she will remain there, unless I have bigger plans for her. XD But I'm super glad you liked her! You pictured hand gestures? YES!! Was totally going for that type of character. XD And, as to the reason she paired up Alisha and Angela, I really want to make the audience guess on that. XD Is Carlyle oblivious? Or is she secretly plotting to take over THE WORLD? Or, you know, bring everyone together...
I'm glad you enjoyed the singing aspect of the episode. And I can totally understand where you say it dragged on, because IT WAS THE BIGGEST BITCH TO WRITE EVER. XD But, I'm still glad you enjoyed it. And 'Glee' wasn't sorta what I was going for, but then again I never really thought of it like that, so I can also see what you mean by that. So, yay! XD And I'm glad you liked the action, movements, dancing, etc.! I kinda picture what I would do if I was given this assignment, and how I would have done the dance/movements. So, that was a huge factor in how the whole singing part would play out. XD
Yay! I'm glad your shocked. XD I really, really, really wanted to show Jordan and Angela AWAY from their competition, and how they act. And, if I can hopefully get a second Sequence, their relationship will be explored more, and will be the main focus of one of the arcs. Hopefully. XD Alisha and Angela might become friends. I've thought of it, no doubt. Same thing goes for Alex and Jordan. HAHAHA!
Michael and Paula are totally back and forth. Michael still doesn't know what he thinks of Paula, but he will eventually come to terms to whether he wants to keep her around or not. XD So, just wait and see.
I'm so glad you are loving 'Audition' as much as you are. XD Even if you are totally shipping Michael/Paula, along with the rest of the people that read this. XD Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of this Sequence, Jack!!
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 17, 2012 14:44:24 GMT -6
RESPONSE: Chris' Review of 'Acting 101'
I try my best to write Paula so that she lives up to all the funny-ness and bubbly-ness that everyone loves about her. XD And I don't find myself funny at all, but I'm glad everyone else seems to think so. XD And Paula brings out things that people didn't even know they had. Like a heart. -coughcoughMICHAELcoughcough-
Glad you enjoyed the whole...plot/premise of the whole thing. We will totally get to see more of their rivalry in episode to come. And, like I said to Kerry, I'm sorry that their dialogue came across that way. It totally wasn't my intention. I hope that Jordan and Angela develop and develop even more, even if they are only reoccurring characters. Thanks for the review. Chris! Moooooving on... __________________________________________________________________
RESPONSE: Chris' Review of 'The Sing-Off'
Again, I'm glad you liked the whole premise of the whole thing. Like I told Jack, this was a very different experience for me to write, and people enjoying it is always a plus! Of course Alisha and Angela had to work together. XD I forgot to tell Jack this in my response to Jack's review, but this was never intended to be a "singing" episode. It was just supposed to reveal the relationship Jordan and Angela had, which I said, if I can hopefully get to Sequence 2 that relationship will be delved into. But anyways, I had to figure out how to show the violence, and it was like "Alisha. Angela. Singing." And BOOM this episode came to be. XD
And I totally understand where you guys are coming from about the singing aspect. It totally could've been shortened, and, like you said, been used for character development or intertwining scenes.
Glad you enjoyed this episode and the last! And, like I say in every review response, I hope you enjoy the rest of the sequence!
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David
VPN Community Member
Working on New Projects
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Post by David on Aug 23, 2012 15:59:49 GMT -6
New episode tonight?
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Post by Jamison on Aug 23, 2012 19:21:05 GMT -6
Review: "Improv" Damn. Can all of these episodes start with Paula coming into the Beretta apartment, and doing something hilarious! OH MY GOD. I was laughing out loud, literally, when she started banging that pan with the wooden spoon. It just came out of know. I didn't expect it, and that made it even more hilarious. haha! I loved Michael's reaction, and then Paula's reaction to his. One of my favorite scenes so far! haha!! I really liked the dynamic this week. We really got to see some of Alisha's nerves in gear, big time. I really can't wait to see her slowly gain more confidence in herself, and I think this was a great way to introduce the differences between her and Alex, where he is more laid back and sort of goes with the flow, Alisha likes order and control. She's doesn't like being put on the spot without notice, so seeing that was nice. Not much Michael and Paula in this episode, but with ten pages to work with, there wasn't really much room for them. I really liked their scene in the beginning, and the little exchange in the car. Looking forward to more of them in future episodes. Really liked this one, Brady! Can't wait for next week.
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Post by Brady Brown on Aug 23, 2012 19:37:36 GMT -6
Wow! Thanks for the review, Chris! And so fast, too! HAHAHA!
I try and squeeze some Paula into every episode, doin' something entirely random, like breaking the Berreta apartment. I. LOVED. WRITING. THAT SCENE. So, I'm super glad you loved it. And I'm glad i got you laughing out loud. XD That's always a plus.
I really love writing scenes where Alisha sorta crawls into her shell more and more, but is forced to step out of her comfort zone a little bit. She gets frustrated with herself, which led to her slightly stern voice in the last couple of pages. Alex was just trying to comfort her, but, you said it best, Alisha doesn't like to be on the spot without notice. XD
Michael and Paula scenes are always fun to write. Their argument actually sorta makes me chuckle some time (tried my hard not to make that sound self-centered XD). I still can't believe you all want them to hook-up. HAHAHA. Glad you liked this episode, Chris! Hope you enjoy next week's, too!!
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Post by Jamison on Aug 23, 2012 19:46:05 GMT -6
Michael and Paula were made to be together. They are my "Audition" OTP! HAHA! Again, awesome episode Brady. HAHA!
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