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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 24, 2016 18:21:37 GMT -6
I'm hopefully going to take the next couple of weeks and by the end of May have all the revisions done for sequence one. I'm also hoping for a July or August premiere.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 13, 2016 12:15:41 GMT -6
Dakota GoyoI went in the other direction. I don't know anything about the cartoon so I didn't know what age range the character is. I had two choices but I decided to go with this one. 
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 10, 2016 15:11:31 GMT -6
I've got to reverberate what the previous reviews have said—this is definitely the best draft yet. I quite enjoyed it. There was a real brisk pace carried by a nice suspense that really kept me intrigued all the way through. I saw this pilot in the early stages, and I just want to commend you for how far you've come with your writing.  Thanks Brady for checking out the current pilot. Very much appreciated. |
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 7, 2016 8:02:31 GMT -6
Damian Lewis
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 5, 2016 13:43:54 GMT -6
Gal Gadot
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 5, 2016 13:40:52 GMT -6
Right on. I just started watching Shameless. Awesome choice.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 4, 2016 9:27:32 GMT -6
Episode 308
The opening part with David and Alisha made me feel better about their relationship. It seems maybe it's getting back and track and to see her reaction with Robbie on the set; it kind of made me feel that she has her head on straight. I don't know what Mia has up her sleeves but I'm sure things are going to get messy soon. I didn't quite understand at the end when she was listing off the people that are chasing after her and she included Alex. Hmmm? Kind of curious what she meant by that but I guess it may also be nothing. The double date was a bit intense and a little different personality that came from Paula. Interesting. Good Episode!
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Post by R.A. Picking on Apr 1, 2016 10:17:25 GMT -6
Episode 307
Drama, Drama, Drama - wow everyone is kissing someone they shouldn't in this episode. I honestly think the Alisha and Robbie romancing might go somewhere. For some reason, I feel like she's going to go against David. I don't know why maybe it's because I feel bad for David. Alex and Mia, I think if something happens it's going to take longer but for him he doesn't really have a girlfriend (I'm guessing because I can't remember if Rose is his GF). Judy is quite interesting and forward and I can't wait to see if she play a major part in the story - I know I get this feeling of a triangle again but I guess I'll have to wait and see. Overall, my vote is that Alisha stays with David and Alex goes after Rose and help her from whatever is going on. Wow.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 30, 2016 10:24:57 GMT -6
Episode 306
Wow x10 - I keep going episode after episode and it keeps getting better. The situation with Mia trying to get in Alex's pants. I think it was quite noble that he was keeping clean and staying away from the opportunity. Now that doesn't mean that I won't start the next episode and they'll be in bed or something (J/K). But I just thought that it was interesting that Alex, the young man who is probably reaching his sexual prime didn't want to make out with Mia, especially if him and Rose are NOT an item. Again and again you make me feel sorry for David. I don't know why I feel so bad, but it's like you're letting your boyfriend hang, but I can kind of see where this is going to go but I hope - I really hope I'm wrong. And Brian? I don't quite understand this guy yet? First, he comes off like a sicko trying to push himself on Rose and then it's like IF you want to make it in the business you have to do this - AND she actually DOES IT! Dang! And like I said with Michael and Paula being an item some day - Awkward! Yet another good episode and you keep me wanting more.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 30, 2016 9:43:07 GMT -6
Episode 305
LOL - I have to say the whole Paul in the bathroom with Michael was a perfect sense of this character. Paula sometimes comes off as this person that is all about doing things the right way and not doing what happened. It was good but it seemed out of character for her to be so happy-go-lucky free spirited. Deep down I've got this inkling that Paula has a deep rooted thing for Michael and I will be curious to see what happens in the future. Okay, again feeling back for David because I get this feeling that we're going to see a love triangle develop here and David is going to get pushed out because he's not in the movie loop. Alisha is going to get googley-eyed over this other actor and she's not going to see what she's doing. And Jordan - oops I mean Mia. Wow, I can almost say now that Mia has a personality that is far worse than Jordan (IMO). I kind of thought when Robbie was meeting up with Mia that we were going to have problems. I guess we wouldn't really have a story IF everything was straight forward PERFECT (LOL). And of course making it more interesting the situation between Alex and Rose (I thought they were in a relationship already) this also seems like an opportunity for a love triangle. Good Episode!
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 29, 2016 11:46:44 GMT -6
Episode 304
This movie that they're filming sounds like a cool movie. Sounds like a good start for the sibling duo. So we possibly have a love triangle I think. Interesting. I kind of feel bad for David in this one because he's already concerned about his girlfriend not being around as much and she's just getting started. He's in for a long road if he's that obsessive. Lol. And the Rose - that's Alex's girlfriend correct? More drama. More excitement coming - I can feel it. I'm happy for Paula and Jace in their relationship that is seeming to go a little further. I can just see her being this person. Okay, I think that Mia and Jordan need to find themselves in a room together maybe that would make a good segment.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 29, 2016 8:37:21 GMT -6
Episode 301
I think I already gave a review on this episode but I decided to pick back up with Audition and try to finish this monster. The drama between Ashley and Jordan I think was really well communicated in this episode and I know this is the last, that I know of, that we hear from them but I would love to see you come back to this character and see where he's at now.
Episode 302
Paula is always a good character to read because she's that person that is always bubbly it seems. Her character is the person that I would probably get irritated with if I was hanging around them for so long, but A+ character as always. Michael being paranoid about Alex and losing his son - I thought at first that it made him weak but I guess I don't understand because I don't have my own son so I wouldn't know what it feels like BUT I think it's also a good story line between a father and son and probably this will continue down the line. That's cool about the new adventures in the movie audition - It will be cool to see if this will be a smooth sailing experience or it will involve more drama. Of course nothing is ever going to be smooth.
Episode 303
The opening Paula scene - Perfect. Again, Paula is a good character and one of the highlights of this show. Of course Mia would be that type of character. I don't know if that's a stereotype of Hollywood actors or what but you always seem to have one in the crowd that thinks they're something special or God's gift to acting, and just thinking about it she comes off as a more intense Jordan. Wow. All these new characters is really exciting because I'm only assuming that things are really going to get exciting this sequence. I'm definitely excited to see what's coming next.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 25, 2016 11:59:42 GMT -6
Just re-read the pilot episode. The opening scene between Cody/Dane makes more sense now . Thank you Jon for viewing it a second time. Appreciated. |
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 23, 2016 17:30:51 GMT -6
Pilot episode has been revised to make the opening scene different. They are minor changes but check it out.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 22, 2016 10:32:19 GMT -6
BIONIC : Update - I'm starting to work on the new version of the pilot episode and in the process I'll be changing up episode 102 also. Hoping to fully complete the pilot episode rewrite by the end of the week - Plus continuing on with the revisions of Episode 103 through 107.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 22, 2016 9:02:16 GMT -6
Is the link for the episode broke? For some reason I can't get in  |
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 21, 2016 13:02:03 GMT -6
I added my selection for Opening Credits for this show to the original post at the bottom of it. I would love to do an Opening Credit video some day but I'm not sure if I have the patients.
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Post by R.A. Picking on Mar 20, 2016 17:48:04 GMT -6
Just sat down to read the pilot and I gotta say I thoroughly enjoyed it. You really have something great here. I always feel like its hard to get someone fully invested into both your characters and plot when its a webisode pilot because you only have so many paged to do so, which is why I think people have touched on the conversation between Dane and Cody. I feel like if you solely focus on what pushes the set up forward it will work better and even keep this conversation or relationship between Dane and Cody for later. They story itself was both intense and mysterious. You never really gave us much in the pilot, in a good way because now I need to know more. Like, what was Cody stealing and why was it worth risking his life for? Who really is Justin and why has he become this Bionic? What does Deacon have planned for them both? The mystery behind it all has me very intrigued and your bad guy, Deacon is pretty terrifying. I love a show that can keep me on the edge of my seat which this one did. Especially when the trackers were coming after Cody and he was still downloading the files and the fight scene with Bionic was pretty bad-ass. I'm routing for this to be picked up so keep up the good work. I look forward to reading the re-draft and so on. Thanks Jay for checking out the pilot episode and wow someone else enjoyed it. That's freaking awesome. I know that opening scene with Cody and Dane seems like a place where I need to change something - somehow and keep the enjoyment and suspense going. I will have to look at that this week and hopefully get a revised script up as soon as possible since I want to push forward on this as quickly as possible. I like the idea of a webisode because you can keep it to the point. You don't need the filler scenes that don't fit most of the times and get frustrated because you have to write something else - that you DON'T enjoy. That's my opinion with webisodes. As far as Deacon - yes the intense and fierce way he is coming off and they way I described him in the script it didn't match the character that I had representing him. I'm still looking for someone to fit that bill or I may just use the readers imagination if I don't find that person. Thanks again. To everybody that has read it so far - Thank You! |
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