Elements

[David]

There are four basic elements in the universe, water, fire, earth, and air. There are those who have the abilities to manipulate these abilities, gifts they are born with. There are those who would be willing to pay anything for those with these abilities. There are those willing to kill for the right price. In a world where the bounty's high, people must hide, people must hunt, find, kill. Is anybody safe? Are you? Max, Carter, Natalie, and Henry are four people with the abilities. They fight the Bounty Hunters, and their pasts, to save their friends and themselves.


Max Snyder- Water
Potrayed by: Kaley Cuoco
<Bio> Max was born in the western US, Seattle to be exact. She is quiet and very selfless. She has a younger brother who ran away from home when she was 16. She's spent years looking for him.


Carter Redmond- Fire
Potrayed by: Ryan Reynolds
<Bio> Carter was born in St. Paul. He is sweet and willing to protect what is right. One day, he and his sister were riding in his car. He wasn't paying attention, ran a red light, and got hit by an 18-wheeler. The engine exploded, he came out without even a burn mark, and his sister died. He never forgave himself, and is now very cautious of everything. He also tries to unravel the mystery of the accident.


Natalie Hart- Earth
Potrayed by: Eliza Dushku
<Bio> Natalie was born in the rough-and-tumble part of New York, New York. She is ready to take on anyone who challenges her. She was raised by her father, after her mother died after giving birth to Natalie.


Henry Lewis- Air
Potrayed by: Drew Fuller
<Bio> Henry was born in Bakersfield. He is rude, but sensitive. He comes from a broken home. His parents were members of the mob. He was put in many different foster homes, the last in Olympia. He was told his parents died.

Ben
Potrayed by: Jared Padalecki
<Bio> Not much is known about Ben, accept that he's a bounty hunter who has some sort of vendetta against Max for some reason


V
Potrayed by: Drew Barrymore
<Bio> She is called V by Carter, short for Vague, because he saw her in a dream, then saw her in real life... at least he thought he did.

Episode List
1.01: Pilot- Max keeps having a recurring dream about a man telling her "Go to New York" As she boards a plane, she can't help but feel she's not safe. Henry has the same dream and boards the same plane. Natalie has an accident she needs to cover up. Carter keeps seeing a girl somewhere. He knows he's seen her, but he can't place his finger on it.
1.02: Bounty- Ben discovers where Max has gone. Henry has a hard time adjusting to his new life in New York. Carter visits his sister's grave, and is attacked. Natalie starts getting mystery phone calls.
1.03: Phone- Max takes a job at the Manhattan Gazette. Henry starts to have more wierd dreams. Carter starts packing for his move to New York and sees a message on his phone. Natalie starts tracing the phone calls.
1.04: Insanity- Ben goes to see his boss. V starts to appear all over, driving Carter crazy. Henry sees where Ben has been going, so he and Max start investigating. Natalie starts developing stronger control over her powers.
1.05: Discovery- Max and Henry get captured by Hartford. Natalie sees her mother... but she's supposed to be dead. Carter discovers how he survived the accident.
1.06: Deal- Hartford strikes a deal with Max and Henry. Carter finally arrives in New York. Natalie gets into some sticky stuff after finding she's not alone.
1.07: Hint- Natalie injures a neighbor on accident. Max gets a tip on where her brother's gone. Henry meets Carter after saving him from a hunter. Ben meets V and has a plan for getting some extra cash.
1.08: Aqua- While at the beach, Max plays a joke that goes horribly wrong. A new bounty hunter arrives in town. Natalie moves out of her old apartment, and rents a bedroom at Carter's. Henry saves a woman.
1.09: Action- Ben sends the signal to V. Carter starts to go insane. Natalie starts to wonder how she can keep her secret when her powers start to go haywire. Max is put on a story about Natalie's old neighbor's death. Henry finds that the woman he saved isn't who she seems.
1.10: Untitled
1.11: Untitled
1.12: Untitled
1.13: Untitled
1.14: Untitled
1.15: Untitled
1.16
Tell me how you feel about it. Reviews are encouraged

[Aimee Nicole]

Right now, I can't make a proper judgment on it. Your premise is really vague. Try to flesh it out a little more. Give us more information on your world and give us a detailed look into the storyline. With what you've given us, it's hard to really give you any sort of feedback.

[MJ]

To expand on Aimee's comment, this pitch in it's current state is not going to get many comments of feedback because there's not much to give feedback/comment on. What you've done right is to break you pitch down into the three main components which are series summary/description, characters, and episodes. Now what you have to do is expand and add more detail to each section.

For the main summary, what you've got is more of a tagline than a description. You explained the basic premise but you should also give a brief description of how the main characters fit into this series and what they're doing. Give us a bit of background that will help lead us in to the first episode of the series. Also give a short rundown of the genre the series is, how many episodes it's going to have and how long they're going to be etc.

The character section needs bios (which you have said are coming soon) but the only bio you have up so far is much to vague. So we know Max has a cat, is quiet and selfless, and is born in the western US. That's not very interesting and I'm not going to want to know more about the character with only a description like that. So elaborate more! Is there a particular reason her elemental power is water? Was she born with it? Did she acquire it somehow? Is she even aware she has this power? What is she doing with her life right now, at the start of the series? Is there something important in her past that's shaped the person she is today? Shy and selfless are nice adjectives but give us an explanation as to why she's like that, and maybe include a less than desirable character trait so we know she has flaws, etc. Your characters are going to drive your series so make sure you really flesh them out well our you won't capture people's attention and imaginations.

And finally, the episodes. Give us some in detail descriptions for some of your episodes, including the pilot. If you're other episodes are still being work on just give them a title anyway and a one sentence description, so we can have some idea of where your first season is headed. Remember, this is just the pitch (in fact, it's an undeveloped pitch so we're not expecting everything to be perfect right off the bat). Whatever you put down now doesn't have to stay that way, you can always edit it later when you revise your ideas or get better ideas.

If you work on those sections like I suggested and flesh out your idea more I'm sure people will be happy to give you some comments and opinions on your series idea. Right now however? People want to see you flesh out the idea a bit more before they start making any judgements

[MJ]

Okay, you asked me to review this again and I'm going to be completely honest with you and say this is still far too underdeveloped. Pretty much all the notes in my last post still apply and the series concept still needs a lot of work.

May I suggest looking at the 'Pitches That Made It' board? Those are all pitches that were picked up and should give you a good idea of how to format your pitch and what/how much information to include.