Post by Darrin McCann on Oct 13, 2016 17:43:03 GMT -6
**REVIEW** - Avery Strange | 1.01 Pilot
I just finished reading the Pilot and I have to agree with some of the points made above. I believe that you did a great job with the introductions of your characters and the teaser got right to the point of what this episode was going to be about. I agree with some of the comments above about the introduction of the paranormal element and the lack of certain amazement. To me it's more of a matter of how do you make your ghosts stand out from any other. What makes your ghosts different, original, what makes Avery Strange ghosts unique. I think the one element I really enjoyed, besides the strong dialogue banter between Avery and Fish, was his nightmare of his brother. Is his brother a ghost? Is his brother's apparition simply a thought inside his head manifesting itself? That's probably been my favorite part of this series since the beginning. The mystery surrounding Evan Strange... I mean Strong. Lol. I have to admit a part of me really misses the crypto-element earlier drafts of this series had. I look forward to how all this ghost mystery ties into his brother's death, if it ties in at all or if there's something else at play. Overall it was a good Pilot. The usually SPAG errors, nothing a few reads and edits can't fix. The introductions were solid, the dialogue was solid. Great job!
CREATOR Bitten | Sally | The Boogeyman | Paradise Lost
SHOWS I'VE WORKED ON PRODUCER The Wolfpack | The Super Teens (Season One) GRAPHIC ARTIST M:SCU (Season Two) BETA READER M:SCU (Season Two) | Bionic (Season One/Season Two)
CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION Paradise Lost 1.08 - The Strength of His Hand
Thank you so much for reviewing. I appreciate it so much. Edits are in progress and I also sent you a PM for clarification on something. Hopefully will have revised pilot up by the end of the weekend. Goal is to also have the first draft of episode two completed by then as well.
Hey, just wanted to drop by. Still editing the pilot, but also just completed the first draft of episode two. I'm hoping to have the final edits of the pilot completed by Friday, but life does love to get in the way sometimes.
Hey Guys. Real life can be a b****, but I've finally revised the pilot and I'd love some feedback. This is definitely a project that I want to get off the ground and begin production. Two and a half episodes have been completed out of the 10 episode Season 1.