S1 Disscusion Thread

[Brian Melanson]

May 30, 2011 7:38:26 GMT -6 Amin said:

May 30, 2011 4:36:10 GMT -6 Brian Melanson said:

Yeah this episode I admit was not my best. I actually do not like it at all. Did not have the time to go back and fix it up. I really just wanted to show everything like it's a normal day at the office and then look your under attack. That may not have been the best approach but it's all I had at the moment.
But the next episodes have really improved from this and have gotten into more detail and such and do not look like crap . And LOTS OF ACTION! So I'm really excited for everyone to see Episode 2 Death of Us! It's really going to be interesting.

I'm sorry if this comes off as mean or something, but: You actually don't like it at all? Well, why did you air it? Why didn't you instead take the time to edit the mistakes before you aired it? I'm not too fond of the philosophy many people have going "Oh, our pilot wasn't that good, but the rest of the series will be better!" The pilot starts everything up; it introduces you to the world and the characters and it is the point where readers/watchers decide if the series is something they should follow.

Having gotten that out of my system (again, sorry if it came off as mean), I'll have to agree with everything Keisha wrote; there's a lot of potential, but there's a lot of grammatical errors. Also, at some points, I just feel the dialogue brings it down. I'll give an example:

LIONEL
Well maybe the signal got cut and
their fixing it and we’ll hear from
them soon.

That just doesn't work. You need to add dots and commas... that line would never work when someone spoke it. I'd go about that line something like this:

LIONEL
Well, maybe the signal got cut and they're fixing it. We'll probably hear from them soon.

Another thing that brought it down for me was the stereotype-Lionel, which actually isn't your fault as much as it is real life tv shows and movies. It seems in every show/movie where there are two girls and a guy, the guy almost always is the typical "Food, jokes and girls" kind of guy. Sorry, that really just hit me and it's always been getting on my nerves.

I loved the start of the episode, though, with the descriptions of the future and the many new additions to everyday life they have. That's something I'd love to see more of.

None of these reviews are harsh in fact they are helping. But with this pilot I thought it was good but after airing it and re-reading through it I was like I don't like this...it's not really my best of my work. And I think I wrote this episode a year ago and I rushed edited it. I should have done more with this and I was just lazy and did not go back and overall change the story plot for this episode. So I understand everyones reviews and what their concerns are but I do promise to go back and fix a bunch of these episodes. This episode may be re-written and changed up but for now it will stay as it is. But I think I messed up with this one. But thanks for the review XD

[Keisha]

Just an update...Haven't abandoned this show or The Path. It's gonna take a day or two to get to it while I finish up my pilot. I have high hopes! Sounds like it will be much better than the 1st episode.

[Amin]

Just a thing I don't really understand: How are The Protectors special? It's something that's always been circling around in my head. What makes them so special, that only the few of them can do it? Do they have some sort of enhanced abilities, or?

[Jack Malone]

I've read about half of the second episode. I still can't get invested in the show, sorry. I'm sure it will find an audience, but I'm not sure this is the show for me. The writing in the second episode has improved, however. It feels much more like a science fiction show, than a drama series cloaked in high tech gadgets and spaceships. I also noticed you tried to give a bit more information on the characters, with flashbacks and little things like that ... I think I'm just going to see how the show goes in its first season and the reviews it gets before picking it up and reading it myself.

And I also don't understand what makes these people so special. Why they are 'the Protectors' and why they are this Resistance team. The way I see it, they managed to escape Earth and they want to save their planet, but why is this Morgana person specifically approaching them? And what is their importance.

[Brian Melanson]

Jun 7, 2011 8:50:15 GMT -6 Jack Malone said:

I've read about half of the second episode. I still can't get invested in the show, sorry. I'm sure it will find an audience, but I'm not sure this is the show for me. The writing in the second episode has improved, however. It feels much more like a science fiction show, than a drama series cloaked in high tech gadgets and spaceships. I also noticed you tried to give a bit more information on the characters, with flashbacks and little things like that ... I think I'm just going to see how the show goes in its first season and the reviews it gets before picking it up and reading it myself.

And I also don't understand what makes these people so special. Why they are 'the Protectors' and why they are this Resistance team. The way I see it, they managed to escape Earth and they want to save their planet, but why is this Morgana person specifically approaching them? And what is their importance.

Well, Morgana is not after 'The Protectors' she's after someone else who is close to someone within the Protectors circle. It all will be explained in the upcoming episodes.

And I'm sorry you don't really think this is the series for you. I noticed that like what I did with VAMP was TOO much drama and not enough supernatural. So I think I'm doing the opposite with this. Too much Sci-Fi not enough Drama lol I really have got to find that place in the middle. So any other tips Jack? I'm willing to accept them with open arms ;D Anything to help the series

[Brian Melanson]

Hey guys sorry there is no new episode this week! Computer deiced to get a virus and would not let me remove it! And when I finally removed it I had no internet! So long story short. I just got internet back and I don't want to air this episode late! It will air next Friday and it will probably be the last one until July. I will be writing new episodes while I'm on vacation! I will be able to update you guys because hopefully we will have Wi-Fi and if we do I may be able to air episodes but we will see how that goes! Hope you guys will stick with me! And Thanks for the Support! You Guys ROCK!

[Jamison]

Hey, Brian. I think I may have a few suggestions, to make this show a lot better and give the reader a more enjoyable experience, because I really think this show, its plot and its character have potential, if you are willing to take these tips seriously.

The sci fi genre, in my opinion, is one of the most interesting forms of entertainment. I love it and I'm studying its history in school, in order to further my understanding of the genre and what it has to offer. That being said, I think the most pressing problem most people have with the Protectors is that you don't full understand the genre. Science Fiction is attractive when it comes to the futuristic and visual elements, but there is a major piece missing in your series.

That missing puzzle piece revolves around your characters. Successful sci fi movies/series don't rely on the visual action, special effects and amazing technological equipment. They rely on the characters journey. A prime example of a series that does this well, is Battlestar Galactica, being a very character driven series, while delivering great plots, storylines that add to the "space opera" feel. The Protectors, for the most part, fails in this way because in the long run, your characters aren't strong enough. I don't feel emotionally attached to them. If that emotional level is not met when someone is reading your script, they tend to lose interest and give up on the show, altogether.

Like I said, the Protectors has a lot of potential. The plot is solid, and you seem to have a good initial storyline that can definitely branch off into other, more complex situations and arcs. But, what you have to work on, is your characters, as well as your story structure and balancing of genres.

I suggest viewing the first couple of seasons of Battlestar Galactica, just to see how character driven the show is, and how they successfully balance two genres: Sci-Fi and Drama, in smooth, believable way.

So, aside from a few fragmented storylines, weakness in characters and the underdeveloped tone and overall structure of the series, in terms of the genre it's in, The Protectors has the chance to make a major turn around. I don't mean to come across as rude or anything in this review, I'm only trying to be honest, to help better this series, because you know, I truly do believe in it. I think you just have to take the extra step to improve your writing technique, and the show.

So, take my tips into consideration, and take a hiatus break if you need to. I'd rather you hold off on this show, and come back ready to write science fiction, then continue putting out episodes that aren't fully developed.

[Brian Melanson]

Jun 11, 2011 8:51:03 GMT -6 Jamison said:

Hey, Brian. I think I may have a few suggestions, to make this show a lot better and give the reader a more enjoyable experience, because I really think this show, its plot and its character have potential, if you are willing to take these tips seriously.

The sci fi genre, in my opinion, is one of the most interesting forms of entertainment. I love it and I'm studying its history in school, in order to further my understanding of the genre and what it has to offer. That being said, I think the most pressing problem most people have with the Protectors is that you don't full understand the genre. Science Fiction is attractive when it comes to the futuristic and visual elements, but there is a major piece missing in your series.

That missing puzzle piece revolves around your characters. Successful sci fi movies/series don't rely on the visual action, special effects and amazing technological equipment. They rely on the characters journey. A prime example of a series that does this well, is Battlestar Galactica, being a very character driven series, while delivering great plots, storylines that add to the "space opera" feel. The Protectors, for the most part, fails in this way because in the long run, your characters aren't strong enough. I don't feel emotionally attached to them. If that emotional level is not met when someone is reading your script, they tend to lose interest and give up on the show, altogether.

Like I said, the Protectors has a lot of potential. The plot is solid, and you seem to have a good initial storyline that can definitely branch off into other, more complex situations and arcs. But, what you have to work on, is your characters, as well as your story structure and balancing of genres.

I suggest viewing the first couple of seasons of Battlestar Galactica, just to see how character driven the show is, and how they successfully balance two genres: Sci-Fi and Drama, in smooth, believable way.

So, aside from a few fragmented storylines, weakness in characters and the underdeveloped tone and overall structure of the series, in terms of the genre it's in, The Protectors has the chance to make a major turn around. I don't mean to come across as rude or anything in this review, I'm only trying to be honest, to help better this series, because you know, I truly do believe in it. I think you just have to take the extra step to improve your writing technique, and the show.

So, take my tips into consideration, and take a hiatus break if you need to. I'd rather you hold off on this show, and come back ready to write science fiction, then continue putting out episodes that aren't fully developed.

You know what Chris? I think your right. The Protectors is not ready to air. Like you said I have the storyline and stuff set but it's just the characters. I really need to re-work this series and improve on my Sci-fi writing.

I do understand you are trying to help and I do NOT want this to turn into VAMP all over again. lol But I do want to improve this series and you writing this has really showed me that It's not ready and that I need to improve on it and make my characters more relatible. So I may need to watch a few Sci-fi shows and see how they handle it. And if it's okay I may, the next time I talk to you, enlist your help in improving the series.

So with this. The current season of the Protectors is done and the series will be completely re-worked. Thanks Chris. I really neeed this and I was even considering it, but you pushed me ahead to fix it. So I thank you.

[Jack Malone]

I have to agree with Chris. I've only seen two episodes of Battlestar Galactica and I already have fallen in love with it and would even go as far to say that I have three favourite characters. I highly suggest you watch some great sci-fi shows and movies and try and see the deep layering of its plots and how "character-driven" as Chris said, they are. I'd also suggest redoing the pilot, because its really hard to get invested in a show when the pilot doesn't set up the characters, or the universe in a succesful way.

And Brian, I'm not sure if is the 'drama' aspect of it all - VAMP was actually a lot more ejoyable to me than the "Protectors." I think you should listen to Chris and take his advice - possibly even consider asking him to come on board as executive producer so that he can put some of his wisdom and knowledge of sci-fi shows into the episodes and planning of the season. The pitch had a lot of potential, but the execution of the pilot has crippled my interest a little.

[Brian Melanson]

Jun 11, 2011 9:08:06 GMT -6 Jack Malone said:

I have to agree with Chris. I've only seen two episodes of Battlestar Galactica and I already have fallen in love with it and would even go as far to say that I have three favourite characters. I highly suggest you watch some great sci-fi shows and movies and try and see the deep layering of its plots and how "character-driven" as Chris said, they are. I'd also suggest redoing the pilot, because its really hard to get invested in a show when the pilot doesn't set up the characters, or the universe in a succesful way.

And Brian, I'm not sure if is the 'drama' aspect of it all - VAMP was actually a lot more ejoyable to me than the "Protectors." I think you should listen to Chris and take his advice - possibly even consider asking him to come on board as executive producer so that he can put some of his wisdom and knowledge of sci-fi shows into the episodes and planning of the season. The pitch had a lot of potential, but the execution of the pilot has crippled my interest a little.

I just wanna say THANK YOU! I think both of your messages have really showed me that the Protectors isn't living up to what I wanted to be. And I'm being lazy and shoving out episodes that were undeveloped. And both of you are right I do need to watch a few good Sci-fi shows and see how they execute it. I am considering 'Battlestar: Galactica' as a show to help. But again thank you I really needed this and it shows me that the show has potential I just have to work at it so Thank you guys!

[Amin]

^Don't forget to watch "Firefly" (:

[Jack Malone]

Jun 11, 2011 9:54:17 GMT -6 Amin said:

^Don't forget to watch "Firefly" (:

Amen.

[Brian Melanson]

Jun 11, 2011 10:05:08 GMT -6 Jack Malone said:

Jun 11, 2011 9:54:17 GMT -6 Amin said:

^Don't forget to watch "Firefly" (:

Amen.

That's on the list lmao