Post by Jack Malone on Oct 28, 2009 6:09:41 GMT -6
For starters, I think you shouldn't label this as a VAMP remake. That show is of the past, and it was unsucessful. You don't want others to see this and think "VAMP was disappointing, that must mean this new one is too." So I think you should take that out of the pitch title. Secondly, I think you have a good solid group of characters. I don't want to see Recurring stars, and things like that, unless they play minor roles - and you don't stack up 42 of them like you did with VAMP. I see this series is a lot better than what VAMP was, so I am not giving up on it. Although, I would like you to explain a few things in your series.
a) How demons originated - I believe you should explain how demons were created into this world. How they came to be an actual species. I would think you should do this in the pilot, and not as the season progresses because you seem to get side tracked and stack storylines on top of each other, which is what happened with VAMP and it became too confusing, and really hard to read, and understand.
b) Less Drama, More Supernatural Aspects - the less drama you have in the show, the better. Sure, I still want to see the characters relate to each other, have personal problems, and see how they react towards the supernatural, but I don't want the characters to have random jokes, sarcastic, and unecessary comments on every page, like it did with VAMP. Get down to the supernatural/drama side of things. Not the over the top, comedy/drama you tend to attempt at, but become unsuccessful in.
c) Longer Scripts - a virtual series should run between 50-60 pages. Try your hardest to get there, because the VPN won't accept a 30 page episode.
This show has a lot more potential than VAMP, but without seeing a pilot, I can't really say "Yes, this has to get picked up" based on the pitch. Please take the advice, and don't shoot it down because this will help you boost your ratings, and grab in more viewers.
A/N: Seeing as this has been labelled as a VAMP reboot/remake, I am comparing it against the show. Truth be told, VAMP wasn't the best show, and was a good thing that it ended before it aired its remaining six episodes, but that's in the past. Please sway away from that series, and do this completely different. New demons. New stories. New Character storylines. Everthing!!
Good luck.
a) How demons originated - I believe you should explain how demons were created into this world. How they came to be an actual species. I would think you should do this in the pilot, and not as the season progresses because you seem to get side tracked and stack storylines on top of each other, which is what happened with VAMP and it became too confusing, and really hard to read, and understand.
b) Less Drama, More Supernatural Aspects - the less drama you have in the show, the better. Sure, I still want to see the characters relate to each other, have personal problems, and see how they react towards the supernatural, but I don't want the characters to have random jokes, sarcastic, and unecessary comments on every page, like it did with VAMP. Get down to the supernatural/drama side of things. Not the over the top, comedy/drama you tend to attempt at, but become unsuccessful in.
c) Longer Scripts - a virtual series should run between 50-60 pages. Try your hardest to get there, because the VPN won't accept a 30 page episode.
This show has a lot more potential than VAMP, but without seeing a pilot, I can't really say "Yes, this has to get picked up" based on the pitch. Please take the advice, and don't shoot it down because this will help you boost your ratings, and grab in more viewers.
A/N: Seeing as this has been labelled as a VAMP reboot/remake, I am comparing it against the show. Truth be told, VAMP wasn't the best show, and was a good thing that it ended before it aired its remaining six episodes, but that's in the past. Please sway away from that series, and do this completely different. New demons. New stories. New Character storylines. Everthing!!
Good luck.
