Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 23, 2012 8:05:35 GMT -6
Jaaaack, been a while since I read this series. It feels almost like an old friend. I'll make sure to catch up ASAP before the grand finale!
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 23, 2012 8:03:40 GMT -6
I may be the only person around who hasn't seen The Avengers >.>
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 23, 2012 8:01:17 GMT -6
the planet Vulveron moved closer to
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 23, 2012 8:00:24 GMT -6
Happy Birthday, Connor
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 20, 2012 11:28:24 GMT -6
Rereading the first episode, I remembered one more thing I was a litte iffy about... why exactly is John terrified of a cat?
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 19, 2012 23:19:02 GMT -6
Looks much better to me I like that you've added the pro-abnormals vs. anti-abnormals preidential election. I imagine it will rock the boat for the characters emotionally, seeing as how they'll all be sent out of the country if the other one wins. Though, I'll advise you to be careful with your portrayals of both candidates and their campaigns. Try to steer away from making one the good guy and the other the pure evil guy. Make sure to give the other one good reasons for believing the way he does. Fear is a good tool here. Perhaps you could add some past incident caused by abnormals that shook the whole country? That could explain why they are viewed so negatively without stereotyping people. I'm excited to see a pilot for this.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 19, 2012 11:59:24 GMT -6
Oh and Amin could I just ask which section, could i just ask which part is was that you saw the small town part, it's just I find a few. And was it just the fact it was a supernatural town or that they all lived there? sorry it's just I'm a little confused. Well, it says in the pitch that they live in a town called Yellow Creek, which honestly rings more than one bell. True Blood, Vampire Diaries, before both of those Buffy The Vampire Slayer, if we're going to be specific. I think this series could be something much greater than just another small-town supes drama if you took it out of that environment and tried something new. For example: how about having it on the move? Explore America's reaction to these abnormals by visiting different places each week as opposed to just having this one discriminating town. Or you could perhaps set it in a big city? There you get the comfort of being in one place yet also many more perspectives. I don't know. All I know is that I'm tired of seeing small-towns as the standard setting for urban fantasy.
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Amin
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Twelve
Sept 19, 2012 11:51:07 GMT -6
Post by Amin on Sept 19, 2012 11:51:07 GMT -6
Putting a bunch of people in an enclosed environment is one of my favorite tricks in fiction, and a sure recipe for drama, especially in this case with a killer on the loose. I like the cast you've got here, they're just diverse enough. I think I'll put my money on Charlize Theron's character. You know, just because.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 19, 2012 11:36:45 GMT -6
I have to admit, when I started reading this pitch, I was going "ooh, untapped territory", all until I got to the part about the small town.... then I rolled my eyes. Sorry to be a sour nanny, but I just think the "small town plagued by supernatural happenings" has been done to death at this point. Everything that can possibly be found there has been explored already in numerous other works and it gets rather tiring to see the same setting appear again and again in urban fantasy for no apparent reason other than bad habit.
Sorry. I just think you could tackle this from another angle that could enhance what's unique about the show. Just my bit of input.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 14, 2012 2:00:00 GMT -6
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AIMEE!!
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 6, 2012 14:52:49 GMT -6
Alright, I've read your first two episodes. I have to be blunt and say that this has got some work ahead of it before it's ready to be considered. Firstly, the descriptions could be smoothened. They are rather clunky and you excessively describe simple actions. It gets a bit difficult to follow at points so I would suggest you look through your script and really try to shorten anything that can be shortened. I've found that less is more when it comes to scripts. Secondly, my other real issue with this, is all the exposition in episode two. Rather than showing us the zombie creatures and giving us piece by piece of this alien mystery, you serve it to us in the first 17 pages of the show. This feels like the wrong way to go about it. You need to SHOW us all these things and not get it out of the way through dialogue. Show, don't tell.
Some minor nitpicks:
*John is described as being in his 40ies. His actor Ben Foster is 31 years old, which in TV Land translates to late twenties. *Once again, your use of exclamation/question marks is something you really need to get over. They're used a few times in dialogue here where they look awkward. For example, when John says "That's murder?", that question mark is really not needed. It just looks off being there.
That's everything I could think of. This needs work, but you seem to have your head in the right place. Good luck!
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 6, 2012 6:16:04 GMT -6
I still see them up there in the pitch.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 5, 2012 4:56:38 GMT -6
Looks interesting so far and you've got a nice little cast going there. I just have to comment on one, not really related, thing: please, stop putting exclamation/question marks at the end of your episode titles. I've been noticing you doing it a lot and it looks rather cheap. Looking at these episode titles, it really isn't necessary at all.
Other than that tiny little detail, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this. Zombie apocalypses are always fun and I like that you seem to have some sort of mythology worked out, which is rare when it comes to this genre.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 4, 2012 8:45:37 GMT -6
I remember the old version of this show. Glad to see it back, because it is a rather intriguing idea. Basically, Supernatural if it was a whole organization. I'd love to see a pilot for this.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Sept 3, 2012 7:39:38 GMT -6
Wohoo!! Very cool that I'm going to be in the show. Can't wait to see this character of mine.
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Aug 25, 2012 2:43:08 GMT -6
Okay, I am officially eager to see this on the lineup!
As for the teaser, I liked the feel of it, but I think the characters, honestly, came off as a bit bland, especially Sonya herself. She just seemed to be asking snappy questions and responded to what the others said, pretty much, without much sense of her own unique attitude.
Of course, I realize this is just a teaser, so I may be grasping here and Sonya's particular "oomf" has yet to be shown. Looking forward to it, anyhow!
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Aug 22, 2012 8:04:11 GMT -6
Why hasn't this been picked up already, that's the question. We don't really need to see a pilot for an all-together anthology series, do we?
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Amin
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Post by Amin on Aug 20, 2012 5:45:52 GMT -6
The Vampire Diaries
tagline: people whispering each other's names in shock
namely, Klaus's name
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