Gangland (WITH PILOT)

[David]

Amazing credits!

[Dan Wallace]

Very, very cool credits.

[Jamison]

Reworking the outline a bit. This show is both fun and complicated because there are so many characters that need to be introduced, and they're all in different places around the story-world. So far, I've introduced 6 out of the 9 main characters ON the island, and 7 of the 8 main characters OFF the island. I'm pretty sure I've put more pre-production work into this show than anything else I've ever written, so I'm really looking forward to getting this pilot up for everyone this summer! XD

[Jamison]

Rough outline complete. Will be starting the pilot script tonight! LOL After I go bowling... *sighs*

[Megan Roberts]

I watched the credits first and then I decided to read the pitch, haha. I really love it and it could definitely be a great series. I've always been a fan of the Crime and Mystery genre but there's something quite magical about this pitch, quite different that I can't put my finger on. I adore the casting choices, Chris & Amin and I cannot wait to see what you do with this!

[Jamison]

Thanks Megan! This show is gonna be so fun to write because not only is it Crime and Mystery, but it's got a real dystopian and cyberpunk vibe about it, and I'm excited to show those elements off.

[Jamison]

Made a few recasts (Out goes Kristin Bauer Van-Straten and in comes Melinda Clarke). So what do I do? I make a revised version of the Opening Credits. haha! It's sort of in the same style as the previous one, but with totally different clips, and a totally different tone. I edited it with a different software too. Final Cut Pro X instead of Sony Vegas 9.0 Pro.

Tell me what you think and get ready for the release of the pilot which is far past the halfway mark!



Edit: Oh my god! "VINCE BAXTER!??" THAT'S A CHARACTERS NAME, NOT AN ACTOR! HAHAHA! FAIL. Oh well, I'll make another revised version for episode two.

[Brady Brown]

Melinda Clarke has made me 97509272097507 more times excited FOR THIS SERIES. BRING IT ON.

[Jamison]

UPDATE: First draft of the pilot has been posted! Check it on below! Any feedback is appreciated.



1.01: A Tale of Two Cities - New arrival to the criminally run island is Marcus Holden (Dominic Purcell), an escaped convict. Desperate to find a woman he lost after being captured, he is swooped up in the dangers of the island, including caged death matches between rival gang members. Latin gang leader, Maria Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez) must find a way to feed her people, who among many others on the island, are running low on food and supplies. Meanwhile, in New York City, newly assigned Fist officer, John Clarke (Warren Kole) steps unto the law enforcement scene as he is thrusted into a case involving a serial killer who targets cops, being partnered up with the ever-so cold, Commander Catherine Rinehart (Melinda Clarke), who leads New York City's 15th Precinct. Also, a group of criminals, lead by an Irishman named Joey McCray (Peter Dinklage) must come up with a way to lay low in the city of Detroit; and a grieving mother and her son's lives are about to get a lot more complicated.

Link to Pilot: ninth-spectrum.weebly.com/uploads/6/8/3/8/6838324/gangland_s01e01_-_a_tale_of_two_cities_-_pilot.pdf

[Jason T. Davis]

Chris, that's gotta be the best opening you've ever made. Love it to death. Also, this pilot just sprung up from nowhere, but I'm not complaining. Should be a great read based on what you've told me about the show from our little brainstorming sessions. Will read/review as soon as I can!

[Dan Wallace]

Not gonna lie, I am way past super pumped to see that the pilot has been posted. Loved the plot since the beginning and that "Bible" thing you posted was so awesome. Definitely going to be reading the pilot tonight, thoughts should be up following that. OH! The revised credits gave me chills, so well done.

[Brady Brown]

REVIEW: “A Tale of Two Cities”

So, as you probably know from my constant reminder, I really am in love with this concept, and was eagerly excited to read the pilot. With that said, it certainly did not disappoint! I was a little nervous because there were so many characters and thought I’d get confused, which I sort of did in the beginning, but once everyone was introduced and I got used to them, they were a lot easier to follow!

If I had to pick favorites based on the pilot, Frank and William are definitely up there. I loved when they were watching Marcus in the cage fight and making comments, actually had me chuckling. Another dynamic I really liked was between Lorrie and Joey. Their playful banter was fun to read. And my final “favorite” goes to Catherine Rhinehart, who I honestly was too fond of with her first appearance. Her dialogue just seemed too immature for me, but then when we started to follow her more often, I really actually started to enjoy her! A lot, actually!

My favorite aspect of the pilot was the world building with the island, which had my favorite scenes from the pilot. I really liked learning more about the gangs and what they have to go through. I’m really looking forward to see what else Law and Nikki have for the convicts, in terms of things like the fighting in the cage. Side note: it was kind of awesome when Maria sidestepped and had that brute fall into the spikes, haha.

There was one little thing that kept popping up, and that was “maime,” which I’m assuming you meant “ma’am.” Just a little something that I had to re-read.

Also really looking forward to seeing how all of the relationships play out! Catherine and John, Marcus and Carla, even Jonnie and Brett (even if it may not be consensual in both parts).

So, yes, I really, really enjoyed this! Lots of questions I have, which will hopefully be answered in later episodes. Best of luck with this, because I really think this could be a hit! 10/10

[Jason T. Davis]

REVIEW: Gangland - 1.01 - "A Tale of Two Cities"

Gave this a read, and I thought it was very good! Brilliant concept, you've created characters I can really see myself getting invested in, and solid writing throughout. When you first came up with the pitch for the show (I mean the original one) I loved it. The thought of following a bunch of people stuck on an island is interesting enough (see Lost), but the twist that these people were convicts, forced out of society by the government to live out the rest of their days in seclusion. That's the interesting hook that drew me in right away. When Amin got on board and you two added the second part of the series that focused on the people still living in the everyday world, it became even "bigger," even more "engaging," and I really saw something special here. This is unlike anything you've ever written before. Wider concept. Original universe for you to play in. A more mature cast and rating. So I didn't really know what to expect. But, after reading the pilot I can honestly say that you did not disappoint.

It may have started off a little slow since you had all of these characters to introduce, but once the story (or stories) got moving, the pace picked up pretty well, and I was able to really zone out and focus in on what was unfolding in the script. Even though we jumped back and forth between the island, and New York, and Detroit, etc... I feel like there was a clean-cut, smooth order to everything. Nothing felt out of place or forced. So, when it comes to structure, I think you really nailed it. I know you mentioned that this series would have a similar format to Game of Thrones, and I can see why you said that, and hey, it works, at least for me.

I can't really decide on which aspect of the show I prefer. The on-or-off island stuff is equally interesting for me, and I really want to see how both of those worlds develop. I like what Brady said about "world-building," in regards to setting up the different areas of the island, the territories, the gangs and how they operate. That was really cool to see throughout the script.

Since you gave me a lot to work with in this pilot, I'm just gonna give you my general thoughts on some of the characters/arcs you established;

Marcus Holden - We enter the story (at least the island stuff) from his point of view. He's our hero. I think, overall, he works well, but I would have liked to see more personality from him. I like that you gave him some motivation with the "search for Carla" angle, because if that wasn't there, I imagine he'd be an extremely passive character, and a lot weaker because of it. But still, his individual voice and arc improved as the pilot moved forward. Frank and William on the other hand, really made his arc sing. Especially William, since he's probably one of my favorite characters already. There's just something honest and endearing about him (almost like some kind of potential father-figure) and that was refreshing when all we've been getting are bad guys on the island. But Marcus' last scene where he's welcomed into William's gang was a big pay off for me. Felt like the beginning of an epic journey for the character, and I can only see him getting better from this point really.

Maria, Brett, and Jonnie - They were much more in the background, or sidelines here, which is just fine because I enjoyed what we did get to see with these characters, and with so many difference characters, I know everyone can’t get the same amount of focus. But onto the characters -- Maria's a bamf. That's all there is to say about her. Hate Jonnie with all my heart, but that’s not to say he isn’t well written. The fact that I hate him means you’re doing your job right Hate aside, It'll be interesting to see how his relationship with Maria improves or worsens in upcoming episodes. The stuff with him and Brett was hard to read. Brett seems like such a nice guy, and that'll probably be his downfall on this island. That shot in the cave where Jonnie's pretty much forcing himself on Brett after beating him to a bloody pulp... I'm so glad you didn't go into complete detail. You implied it pretty well, and I understood what was about to happen. Good emotion there too.

Law and Nikki - Another one of my favorite parts about the pilot. The relationship between these two characters is like a match made in hell. I got the sense that they are sort of the King and Queen of the island, almost. They seem perfect for one another, in the worst ways imaginable, and I really can't wait to see how much damage they cause the other islanders. I really liked Nikki's line "I like to spend my time pleasing the living. The dead can't pay me back later," or something like that! It almost felt like, and especially during the end scene, that Nikki’s really the one in charge, and she has Law’s ear. I’m looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

Don't know much about Nikolai yet, only that he's a bastard. Casting was great though. Unlike Jonnie, this is a villain I think I’ll love to hate, because his dialogue was quite amusing in a lot of places. He legit, sounded Russian too! I don’t know how I came to that conclusion; but there was something about the words he used. It was very accurate for me, based on what I’ve seen from tv and movies. I'm interested in seeing how his partnership with Law and his gang formed and if it'll stay strong, because he seems like the kind of man that's got a plan of his own.

Now, moving on to some of the characters/arcs I really enjoyed in the "off-island" bits;

John Clarke -- Like we entered one side of the story from Marcus' POV, we entered the other part from John's and I think, overall, you were more successful here. I connected to John right away, and once the shoot out happens and especially that moment at the hospital where he talks back at Karth; that really sold me on his character and his purpose in the show. I see him as a very strong lead, or at least a strong entry point for the show.

Catherine Rinehart -- Probably my favorite character. I think out of all the characters, she had the most unique voice. She had a lot of personality, and some of lines she delivered just cracked me up. Loved that you showed a softer, more caring side to her at the end though. That rounded everything up quite nicely, and I'm looking forward to seeing more character moments like that from her. Also, I want to know more about how she got those robotic enhancements or whatever you called them. Hopefully we get to dig into some of these characters backstory and find out what makes them tick.

Joey & Lorrie -- Their relationship was another high point for me. I like how they seem to really "get" each other. They reminded me of an old married couple. They bicker from time to time, but in the end, they know each other too well and for too long to really let it get to them. I have no idea what they have against the Shepard family though. That was confusing, and I was thinking we'd get a bit of an explanation on that by the end, but I guess we'll have to wait a little while longer to find out what's going on there.

In terms of plot development, you were able to set up quite a lot of mystery. Like the whole "Alexander" thing. I see that returning somehow. And the reveal that Carla in fact IS on the island. Wasn't expecting it at all! At least not this soon. She’s with the WRONG set of people though, of course, you could make it easy for Marcus could you? Exciting stuff, already.

Overall, I loved this pilot. You established a bunch of characters and made me care about the lot of them. Everything came together in the end quite nicely. The story with the precinct and the mysterious anti-police organization was set up nicely, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it. Great opener, Chris! I'll give this a 10/10.

Random note: That little part where Frank finds a cut off finger on the shore was a nice addition, assuming it was one of the guys that got eaten by sharks in the beginning. haha! I was wondering if they would be mentioned in the episode, so I guess that was your way of doing that

[Jamison]

Response to Brady's Review

REVIEW: “A Tale of Two Cities”

So, as you probably know from my constant reminder, I really am in love with this concept, and was eagerly excited to read the pilot. With that said, it certainly did not disappoint! I was a little nervous because there were so many characters and thought I’d get confused, which I sort of did in the beginning, but once everyone was introduced and I got used to them, they were a lot easier to follow!

Thank you for your continued support for the show! It took a year, but I finally got it out! There's a pretty big cast, so I knew it might be a little bit of a struggle for some, but I'm glad it got easier to follow for you, sooner rather than later.

If I had to pick favorites based on the pilot, Frank and William are definitely up there. I loved when they were watching Marcus in the cage fight and making comments, actually had me chuckling. Another dynamic I really liked was between Lorrie and Joey. Their playful banter was fun to read. And my final “favorite” goes to Catherine Rhinehart, who I honestly was too fond of with her first appearance. Her dialogue just seemed too immature for me, but then when we started to follow her more often, I really actually started to enjoy her! A lot, actually!

I didn't mean to write Frank this way, but he sort of plays that comic relief character, in a sense, in the pilot. Totally not intentionally, but it just turned out that way. I'm glad you enjoyed the him and William, and it'll be interesting to see if you still have that opinion once we get a little insight on their criminal past!

Lorrie and Joey's scenes were some of the hardest for me to write for some reason. Still not sure why, but I always got stuff with them, even though they only have about 2 full scenes in the episode. I think it was trying to make Joey come across as brutally honest, but still a loving guy. You know? I didn't want people to think he was rude to Lorrie, while she just sits back and takes it. It's just the relationship they have and they accept it.

Amin and I have a huge love for Catherine as well. I'm pretty sure she's one of Amin's favorites of the series, and she's definitely one of mine. I can see what you mean about her introductory scene. It actually went through a few changes; there are different versions of it, but it all of them, she has that same sort of vibe about her. It may be changed again with another draft, but I'm glad she got better as we got more into her character, and the story. We were hoping for a good response when it came to Catherine. I would make a reference to a character from the Buffyverse, who she sort of reminds me of, but it would be lost on you! hahaha! *hint hint*

My favorite aspect of the pilot was the world building with the island, which had my favorite scenes from the pilot. I really liked learning more about the gangs and what they have to go through. I’m really looking forward to see what else Law and Nikki have for the convicts, in terms of things like the fighting in the cage. Side note: it was kind of awesome when Maria sidestepped and had that brute fall into the spikes, haha.

I'm really glad you're liking the world we're trying to build up. There's a lot of history between the characters on the island, and the different inner workings of all the gangs, their leaders and members. It's gonna be fun slowly revealing more and more information about that in the coming episodes, if this series gets the greenlight!

Law and Nikka are gonna be something else. I can tell you that. They are both power players, and like to be in control. Once their leadership is challenged, all hell is bound to break loose. That Maria scene was fun to write, and something that just popped up last minute, really.

There was one little thing that kept popping up, and that was “maime,” which I’m assuming you meant “ma’am.” Just a little something that I had to re-read.

Aahh! Bozo mistake on my part. Will fix it right away. Thanks for pointing it out.

Also really looking forward to seeing how all of the relationships play out! Catherine and John, Marcus and Carla, even Jonnie and Brett (even if it may not be consensual in both parts).

Catherine and John buddy-cop relationship is going to be interesting to develop, since we come to discover the way the like to operate as detectives is so different. John is someone who likes to follow rules, and play by the book, although passion can take over sometimes, while Catherine is much unconventional and unpredictable.

Jonnie and Brett's abusive relationship is something I knew I had to show, but it's also something I was a little nervous about, because it goes to some pretty dark places. Nevertheless, I want to bring even more complexity to that relationship. There may or may not actually be real feelings there. We'll have to wait and see.

Marcus and Carla -- that's pretty hush hush at the moment, but I'm glad you're interested in seeing more.  

So, yes, I really, really enjoyed this! Lots of questions I have, which will hopefully be answered in later episodes. Best of luck with this, because I really think this could be a hit! 10/10

My god, Brady. Thank you soo much for the read and review!! I really didn't want to disappoint you. And not just because you threatened to kill me, had this not lived up to your expectations. haha! But anyway, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it and I hope we can bring you more! *Fingers crossed*

[Jamison]

Response to Jason's Review

REVIEW: Gangland - 1.01 - "A Tale of Two Cities"

Gave this a read, and I thought it was very good! Brilliant concept, you've created characters I can really see myself getting invested in, and solid writing throughout. When you first came up with the pitch for the show (I mean the original one) I loved it. The thought of following a bunch of people stuck on an island is interesting enough (see Lost), but the twist that these people were convicts, forced out of society by the government to live out the rest of their days in seclusion. That's the interesting hook that drew me in right away. When Amin got on board and you two added the second part of the series that focused on the people still living in the everyday world, it became even "bigger," even more "engaging," and I really saw something special here. This is unlike anything you've ever written before. Wider concept. Original universe for you to play in. A more mature cast and rating. So I didn't really know what to expect. But, after reading the pilot I can honestly say that you did not disappoint.

Thanks for giving it a read, Jason! This is an idea I had been keeping up top for about two years now. I always knew that one day I would write it, so I'm glad I finally got to, no matter how it turns out. The concept was good before, and Amin really helped me take it to a whole new level, so I can't thank him enough for coming on board. 

It may have started off a little slow since you had all of these characters to introduce, but once the story (or stories) got moving, the pace picked up pretty well, and I was able to really zone out and focus in on what was unfolding in the script. Even though we jumped back and forth between the island, and New York, and Detroit, etc... I feel like there was a clean-cut, smooth order to everything. Nothing felt out of place or forced. So, when it comes to structure, I think you really nailed it. I know you mentioned that this series would have a similar format to Game of Thrones, and I can see why you said that, and hey, it works, at least for me.

Given the amount of characters we've got in this show, I knew it would take a while for the readers to adjust. Glad that it picked up for you, though. Game of Thrones is definitely inspiration for the show, in terms of format. Although, they jump around A LOT more than this show would. We only have three central locations. Granted, the island is split up in a way that it could make it seem like six, but the characters will be crossing over from time to time.

I can't really decide on which aspect of the show I prefer. The on-or-off island stuff is equally interesting for me, and I really want to see how both of those worlds develop. I like what Brady said about "world-building," in regards to setting up the different areas of the island, the territories, the gangs and how they operate. That was really cool to see throughout the script.

That's awesome! We wanted to set the show up so there would be an interesting storyline for everyone. If you didn't like one plot, you might appreciate another one more. But you're liking both sides equally, that's even better. You'll probably switch back and forth between the two, but that's expected. Cannot wait to hear your thoughts when we develop the story even more. Should be interesting to hear some of your crazy theories

Since you gave me a lot to work with in this pilot, I'm just gonna give you my general thoughts on some of the characters/arcs you established;

Marcus Holden - We enter the story (at least the island stuff) from his point of view. He's our hero. I think, overall, he works well, but I would have liked to see more personality from him. I like that you gave him some motivation with the "search for Carla" angle, because if that wasn't there, I imagine he'd be an extremely passive character, and a lot weaker because of it. But still, his individual voice and arc improved as the pilot moved forward. Frank and William on the other hand, really made his arc sing. Especially William, since he's probably one of my favorite characters already. There's just something honest and endearing about him (almost like some kind of potential father-figure) and that was refreshing when all we've been getting are bad guys on the island. But Marcus' last scene where he's welcomed into William's gang was a big pay off for me. Felt like the beginning of an epic journey for the character, and I can only see him getting better from this point really.

Marcus' character was tricky. He's a very low-key, timid guy, but his wild side tends to come out when he feels threatened. I think his hesitance to trust anyone, and be more of a loner stems a lot from his backstor, which we would definitely be getting into in future episodes. His history with Carla will be touched on, and we get to see more of what motivates his character, moving forward after joining the Red Suns. I want to establish Marcus, Frank and William as sort of a solid "unit." They'll grow to rely on one another, and that's something I really want to get into in episode two. William is a character I love to write for already, so I'm glad you're taking to him. You're right about the 'father figure' comment. I can see his relationship with Marcus heading somewhere in that direction, even though Marcus would probably be against it initially.

Maria, Brett, and Jonnie - They were much more in the background, or sidelines here, which is just fine because I enjoyed what we did get to see with these characters, and with so many difference characters, I know everyone can’t get the same amount of focus. But onto the characters -- Maria's a bamf. That's all there is to say about her. Hate Jonnie with all my heart, but that’s not to say he isn’t well written. The fact that I hate him means you’re doing your job right Hate aside, It'll be interesting to see how his relationship with Maria improves or worsens in upcoming episodes. The stuff with him and Brett was hard to read. Brett seems like such a nice guy, and that'll probably be his downfall on this island. That shot in the cave where Jonnie's pretty much forcing himself on Brett after beating him to a bloody pulp... I'm so glad you didn't go into complete detail. You implied it pretty well, and I understood what was about to happen. Good emotion there too.

I love Maria! Haha! And even though I didn't get to really get deep into her character in the pilot, I'm really looking forward to doing so in the near future. From what we've seen so far, we know she's a tough broad, but she's also a bit naive. Jonnie may not be the best guy when it comes to morals, but he had a point in saying that their on their own. Maria's journey from this point on is more about figuring out where she stands on the island as a leader; what kind of leader should she be in these new circumstances, etc...

I can tell you that Jonnie and Maria's relationship is NOT getting better any time soon, if at all. I suspected the Jonnie/Brett scenes would bring up a lot of dark emotions. They were hard for me to write. 

Law and Nikki - Another one of my favorite parts about the pilot. The relationship between these two characters is like a match made in hell. I got the sense that they are sort of the King and Queen of the island, almost. They seem perfect for one another, in the worst ways imaginable, and I really can't wait to see how much damage they cause the other islanders. I really liked Nikki's line "I like to spend my time pleasing the living. The dead can't pay me back later," or something like that! It almost felt like, and especially during the end scene, that Nikki’s really the one in charge, and she has Law’s ear. I’m looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

You might be on to something with your comments on Nikki. She's definitely a force to be reckoned with, and someone you can't really take your eyes off of. Amin and I were just discussing some future scenes today involving her character and Carla that will be very interesting. If Law is just being lead by Nikki, I fear for him as well. haha!! Everyone should be afraid of Nikki. That's the moral here. In terms of their relationship, it's a pretty toxic one. We don't really know right from the jump if they actually love one another, or if it's all a "power thing," but it's gonna be fun diving more into their arc in the coming episodes, as they rule the Island side by side. haha!

Don't know much about Nikolai yet, only that he's a bastard. Casting was great though. Unlike Jonnie, this is a villain I think I’ll love to hate, because his dialogue was quite amusing in a lot of places. He legit, sounded Russian too! I don’t know how I came to that conclusion; but there was something about the words he used. It was very accurate for me, based on what I’ve seen from tv and movies. I'm interested in seeing how his partnership with Law and his gang formed and if it'll stay strong, because he seems like the kind of man that's got a plan of his own.

Nikolai is also a powerful guy on the island, even though his power is not seen in the forefront, but it's felt in the background, through scheming and stuff like that. We'll get more into that later in the series, but I think he'll definitely be a character that's funny to listen to, which makes him strangely likable. I thoroughly enjoyed the scene and a half I got to write with him in it, so I'm excited for more of that as well

John Clarke -- Like we entered one side of the story from Marcus' POV, we entered the other part from John's and I think, overall, you were more successful here. I connected to John right away, and once the shoot out happens and especially that moment at the hospital where he talks back at Karth; that really sold me on his character and his purpose in the show. I see him as a very strong lead, or at least a strong entry point for the show.

John's arc this season, and in the show in general, is very "hero's journey" based. There will be ups and downs to his character, like all of the characters on the show, but I understand why were you able to relate more to him than to Marcus. I mean, I'd like to think you'd sooner connect with a seemingly nice guy who loves his friends, than a convict with a bad attitude and trust issues. haha!

Catherine Rinehart -- Probably my favorite character. I think out of all the characters, she had the most unique voice. She had a lot of personality, and some of lines she delivered just cracked me up. Loved that you showed a softer, more caring side to her at the end though. That rounded everything up quite nicely, and I'm looking forward to seeing more character moments like that from her. Also, I want to know more about how she got those robotic enhancements or whatever you called them. Hopefully we get to dig into some of these characters backstory and find out what makes them tick.

Catherine seems to be the "woman of the hour." Amin and I, when developing these characters, had a clear vibe we wanted to come across with her character, and I'm glad we stuck to it. Her personality ties into her cybernetic enhancements as wel, and yes, that part of her backstory will be touched upon more if we get to write more episodes. It's a big part of the show, and it really gives us more insight into her life. Excited for people's reactions to the "maternal" aspects of her character, once we've introduced her son. Should be fun, but she doesn't initially have that "mom" vibe.

Joey & Lorrie -- Their relationship was another high point for me. I like how they seem to really "get" each other. They reminded me of an old married couple. They bicker from time to time, but in the end, they know each other too well and for too long to really let it get to them. I have no idea what they have against the Shepard family though. That was confusing, and I was thinking we'd get a bit of an explanation on that by the end, but I guess we'll have to wait a little while longer to find out what's going on there.

That actually sums of the Joey/Lorrie dynamic pretty well. Sorry for the let down with no explanation on why the "crime trio" are trying to take the house. It all pretty much came down to time, lack of time. So, I figured it would be better to hold off until episode two, where they'll be given a lot more attention.

In terms of plot development, you were able to set up quite a lot of mystery. Like the whole "Alexander" thing. I see that returning somehow. And the reveal that Carla in fact IS on the island. Wasn't expecting it at all! At least not this soon. She’s with the WRONG set of people though, of course, you could make it easy for Marcus could you? Exciting stuff, already.

You know I gotta add a bit of mystery to everything I write. There's even more where that came from. Trust me! Episode two reveals a lot about certain things. Well... you'll find out.

Overall, I loved this pilot. You established a bunch of characters and made me care about the lot of them. Everything came together in the end quite nicely. The story with the precinct and the mysterious anti-police organization was set up nicely, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it. Great opener, Chris! I'll give this a 10/10.

Thank you soo much, Jason! I'm really glad you enjoyed the pilot. Thanks for giving it a read! This whole show and its characters, especially the ones on the island, are really fun to play around with, because I get to be a "bad guy," most of the time. You know how much I love writing for bad guys, so this show is pretty much a dream come true, although it's not always gonna be so black and white. Amin and I plan on tossing so many shades of gray over the readers heads throughout the show, you'll begin questioning your own moral compass. That's out end goal and hopefully we meet it.

Random note: That little part where Frank finds a cut off finger on the shore was a nice addition, assuming it was one of the guys that got eaten by sharks in the beginning. haha! I was wondering if they would be mentioned in the episode, so I guess that was your way of doing that.

I was worried that by the time that little scene happened, people would totally forget all about the shark attack in beginning and like... not make the connection. haha! Glad you were able to piece those two events together! Thanks again for reviewing so quickly!

[Jack Malone]

So I actually managed to sit down and read a script for once in what seems to be a very long time, and I'm just glad it was something as exciting as "Gangland." While some of your inspirations and influences for the show are quite obvious in the concept of the show, you've executed it in a way that seems so new and fresh and, again, exciting. It's like all the great aspects of what make a really good television series can all be found in this pilot, and I think you should be extremely proud of the result. Brady and Jason left way better reviews than I possibly can, but I'm going to try and bring up some stuff that I really loved about the pilot that may not have necessarily been mentioned before so its not repetitive/dull for you to read.

One of the most exciting characters/storylines for me introduced in this script surrounded Danny, and his father. Personally, I love the idea that in today's society, the justice system is skewed and innocent people do get put behind bars, and the idea that it hasn't been perfected in the future, in this world of growing technology and a new-edge prison system (really enhanced through the character of Catherine, who has titanium converged with her), was something that really jumped out at me. Danny was the character in the pilot that I just saw had a lot of potential, and while he's not in it as much as the other characters, I get the feeling he's someone that could rebel against the system, and fight back, because losing his father to this system can give him enough drive to do that. He was 'napped in the closing pages, so I seriously can't wait to find out what happens with him, and I'd love to know more about the direction of this particular character on the show.

I really have to mirror what everyone else said- you've set up a lot of interesting relationships, and its great to see the contrasting characters have back and forth conversations with one another. I printed the script out so I could have a better chance of reading it, and I took notes as I went along, and I particular loved the scenes with Catherine and Karth. She says "I don't like change", and he throws back with, "change is necessary," and its this element of skepticism and optimism that really had a beginning, middle and end in the pilot- by the end of the episode, Catherine enlists John to join her at the 15th precinct, and its like a role reversal between Catherine/Karth in that scene, which I thought creatively established the relationship between those two characters and showed a lot of development on Catherine's part. They're opposites in more than one ways, and always seem to be on two different sides, yet work together brilliantly. So I loved that dynamic!

The cold opening was incredible. It managed to highlight what kind of an effect the island had on people, the desperate nature of those who are on it, and told us right from the very beginning how inescapable it is. There's obviously going to be this desire to fight back, and eventually get off the island (maybe not for William, who views this as a second chance, and be able to forge their own path, but for the other characters, like Marcus, who is driven by love, and probably wants to reunite with Carla and then leave), so to set up from the get-go how difficult it is to do that, I thought, creatively, it was a great way to open the series.

For me, I enjoyed the off-island aspect a lot more than the island- not necessarily because it wasn't as good, but just because there's so much politics, and structure and mystery to everything grouped with characters who have links to those on the island. But that said, there's two systems, both corrupt. One leads to the island, and the other is the system on the island (with Law). And ugh, its just a really impressive story you've come up with Chris. I really could rant on for more and more about this, and I hope my review doesn't seem really crap compared to the other great ones, but I just wanted to leave some thoughts before I went to bed, hahaha. 10/10 for sure!

[Jamison]

Response to Jack's Review

So I actually managed to sit down and read a script for once in what seems to be a very long time, and I'm just glad it was something as exciting as "Gangland." While some of your inspirations and influences for the show are quite obvious in the concept of the show, you've executed it in a way that seems so new and fresh and, again, exciting. It's like all the great aspects of what make a really good television series can all be found in this pilot, and I think you should be extremely proud of the result. Brady and Jason left way better reviews than I possibly can, but I'm going to try and bring up some stuff that I really loved about the pilot that may not have necessarily been mentioned before so its not repetitive/dull for you to read.

I'm really glad you had time and decided to give this a read! I always appreciate your opinions since you're a big inspiration for me when I write. When coming up with the concept, especially the dynamics of the island, I would say my biggest influences were "Lost," obviously, and "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" (Marcus/Spartacus' journey, especially in the pilot, can really work as parallels to me). I didn't pick up on the latter until quite recently actually. But those two shows really helped me establish the aesthetic I wanted to create with Gangland. In terms of how character-driven this show aims to be, I was inspired a lot by "Battlestar Galactica," which really was crafted with a "Character-First. Plot Second" mantra. I welcome the idea of sacrificing plot for character, because in the long run, the characters are what the readers are focused on, and I wanted to stress that here; that layer of multi-dimensionality, realism and personal-depth in relation to the characters that will only grow as the series develops. Shifting to the semi-dystopian version of 'our society,' I was influenced more by worldly themes and ideas, rather than any pre-established film or series (at least that I can think of), but I'm so glad I was able to give my own style and voice to this concept! And I'm glad you enjoyed it.

One of the most exciting characters/storylines for me introduced in this script surrounded Danny, and his father. Personally, I love the idea that in today's society, the justice system is skewed and innocent people do get put behind bars, and the idea that it hasn't been perfected in the future, in this world of growing technology and a new-edge prison system (really enhanced through the character of Catherine, who has titanium converged with her), was something that really jumped out at me. Danny was the character in the pilot that I just saw had a lot of potential, and while he's not in it as much as the other characters, I get the feeling he's someone that could rebel against the system, and fight back, because losing his father to this system can give him enough drive to do that. He was 'napped in the closing pages, so I seriously can't wait to find out what happens with him, and I'd love to know more about the direction of this particular character on the show.

First mention of Danny! Yay! I was interested in hearing what people thought of this character. Obviously, he's portrayed as a hormonal, bad-mouth teenager. But once you get past that surface, I really wanted there to be a young man in there who has real, emotional motivations for why he is the way he is. I think you've raised some great points in your analysis of Danny, because he is very rebellious, and that trait is bound to develop as he's thrusted even more into this world of corruption and politics. I knew being, essentially, a pretty negative character, that most people would hate him right from the jump, but it was my goal to make it so, even if you were not fond of the character as an individual, you would at least be interested in seeing what makes him tick. So, I'm SOOO glad that worked for you! He's a character I'm excited about developing further, through the relationship he had with his father, to the relationship he'll slowly begin to build with his mom. And also, his own thought-processes in regards to himself should be huge aspect of his story arc.

I really have to mirror what everyone else said- you've set up a lot of interesting relationships, and its great to see the contrasting characters have back and forth conversations with one another. I printed the script out so I could have a better chance of reading it, and I took notes as I went along, and I particular loved the scenes with Catherine and Karth. She says "I don't like change", and he throws back with, "change is necessary," and its this element of skepticism and optimism that really had a beginning, middle and end in the pilot- by the end of the episode, Catherine enlists John to join her at the 15th precinct, and its like a role reversal between Catherine/Karth in that scene, which I thought creatively established the relationship between those two characters and showed a lot of development on Catherine's part. They're opposites in more than one ways, and always seem to be on two different sides, yet work together brilliantly. So I loved that dynamic!

Karth is a character I knew I had to have in the pilot. He's sort of the Yin to Catherine's Yang, in the sense that he is that 'ideal' detective. He's very straightforward, gets the job done right, and he's all about order and structure, whereas Catherine is a bit more of a free-spirit. She goes things the way she wants to do them, and anybody who doesn't like it can kick rocks, pretty much. Their back and forth conversation in Catherine's introductory scene was particularly fun for me to write because of how much of polar opposites they were. Whenever Karth says something, it's like she MUST disagree or refute his words some how. So, I'm glad you caught onto that and enjoyed it. Some of the stuff you mentioned about these two, I didn't even pick up on, but I like the way you worded it, and it'll definitely be explored more as I continue to write these two characters together!

The cold opening was incredible. It managed to highlight what kind of an effect the island had on people, the desperate nature of those who are on it, and told us right from the very beginning how inescapable it is. There's obviously going to be this desire to fight back, and eventually get off the island (maybe not for William, who views this as a second chance, and be able to forge their own path, but for the other characters, like Marcus, who is driven by love, and probably wants to reunite with Carla and then leave), so to set up from the get-go how difficult it is to do that, I thought, creatively, it was a great way to open the series.

That scene went through a lot of redrafts. The first opening dealt with more science fiction elements, but both Amin and I thought it would be best to establish a very gritty, raw vibe to the island, instead of a tech-heavy, glamorous, vibe. Questions will arise on just how "inescapable" the island actually is, as Marcus will be looking for cracks in the system. Whether he'll be able to find one. You'll have to wait and see. But you're right. While William considers this a great opportunity, Marcus wants to get Carla and get the HELL out of dodge. 

For me, I enjoyed the off-island aspect a lot more than the island- not necessarily because it wasn't as good, but just because there's so much politics, and structure and mystery to everything grouped with characters who have links to those on the island. But that said, there's two systems, both corrupt. One leads to the island, and the other is the system on the island (with Law). And ugh, its just a really impressive story you've come up with Chris. I really could rant on for more and more about this, and I hope my review doesn't seem really crap compared to the other great ones, but I just wanted to leave some thoughts before I went to bed, hahaha. 10/10 for sure!

I figured people would enjoy the off-island stuff more, since it has a more grounded connection to our own modern society, so naturally, it's more interesting to learn about how we got from where we are now to the point when the series takes place. I personally can't wait to dig more into the politics of it all. There's even more politics. Even more systematic corruption. We haven't even scratched the surface of it all yet.  

Jack, thank you soo much for reading/reviewing. I sat down to write the pilot just a few days ago, and was NOT expecting to get it finished so quickly, but I'm glad it's getting such a positive response from you all so far. I'm still awaiting one review telling me that it's terrible and needs to be redrafted with the quickness, but for right now, I'm glad people are enjoying the pilot! Thanks for your thoughts and insightful review! It was GREAT to read