Just read the 2 part opening for this idea. First up, I liked the concept, has a feel of several things for me thrown in there. Falling Skies as well as old ones like The Invaders tv series of 60's and Invasion of the Body Snatchers movie.
I love sci-fi, and a good series where aliens invade so this was up my alley. The pace of the show moved along well. A few things like how easy Erica allowed Carson free I thought could have played out a bit heavier in threatening as he seemed to give up relatively easy to her demands. A few slight SPAG issues which can easily be resolved also.
I think maybe the start could have done with the scenes of Thomas seen been captured and the rest escaping with their lives could have lead to a more dramatic opening of the series of a chase.
It would be interesting to see where you take the idea as has potential as the humans fightback. Has lots of elements as said of other influences I feel mixed together which can make it a good show and a nice little webisode series which could last for several seasons.
Good luck with it, and be reading more if gets accepted
Easy by Tom East (VPN) - Staff Writer/Producer (2 Episodes)
Marvel Origins: X-Men (TEN) by Tom East/Alden (4 Webisodes)
the Idiot Box (MZPtv) - by Matt Latham (1 Episode)
Post by Brady Brown on May 29, 2012 18:11:53 GMT -6
Review: 1x01 “Let There Be Light”
I really enjoy the descriptions you are giving. I can easily imagine most of it in my head, and I love scripts that do that. And I think the pacing was nice. So, good job on that!
You have a really interesting concept. Sci-Fi seems to be something you can do very well, and I’m finding a mystery element, attempting (the reader) to discover what these “Drones” are and trying to figure out what type of world they live in. And that kept me reading.
I like Elijah. He seems to be the voice of reason when Erica doesn’t want to talk, but she wants to go in guns blazing, trying to save her brother.
The scene between Erica and Carson is something I’m iffy on. They seem to be listening to each other, and taking each other’s demands rather quickly. Like Steve said, I think it could have played out heavier.
There were a few SPAG issues, and some descriptions that didn’t quite make sense, but all that could be fixed with a simple run through of the script.
8.5/10 -- great series starter with a few flaws.
CREATOR Reality l The Super Teens l Audition
CO-CREATOR Tomb Raider (with Chris Davis on MZPtv)
CURRENTLY WRITING Audition l 5.11 "World Premiere" The Super Teens l 2.15 "Super Virus"
Thank you both fore the reviews! It means a lot that you took the time to read it for me. As far as SPAG issues....I blame my editor and she shall be whipped for her mistakes. XD Just kidding! I will have her look over these again should the series get picked up.
In an answer to Stevieg and putting in a chase scene...I thought about it, but honestly I only have so many pages to convey stuff. This story is about Erica and I chose to focus more on her.
The same kinda applies to the scene with Carson and Erica, but there is another reason. Erica takes a no nonsense attitude with him and she NEEDS him which is why she let Carson loose so easily. It isn't about his freedom it is the fact she needs to leave ASAP to save her cousin. Carson's race is very calculating and cold so he knows it is in his best interest to cooperate until he finds an opportunity. Perhaps that doesn't work for everyone, but that was the reason in my head.