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Post by xsylviamoonx on Mar 28, 2012 21:06:44 GMT -6
 Together they will reach the end of the line...An AU look at what life woulv'e been like if Willow and Tara had decided to go their own way, after getting back together. Salem, Massachusetts. It seemed like a nice place for two witches to feel welcome. They're wrong. Not only is Salem filled with just as many vampires and demons as Sunnydale, but the mystical forces at work are so strong in this town that Willow can physically feel it. The baddies are coming faster than last time, and it might not be enough. They need help. They won't be able to start a life until they're sure it's safe. Perhaps the evil just happens to be everywhere they are. Perhaps there's more to it than that...
With just the two of them, Willow and Tara must make their own way in the world. New town, new people, new bad guys. They'll need jobs, friends. Connections. It isn't over until the fat lady sings. Looks like she lost her vocal chords.  She feels out of place here, like something is amiss. There are people that reside here, innocents. The are also beings with intentions no other than to take down Willow Rosenberg, or even take her magic. She's known as a very powerful wicca, and it's only a matter of time before everyone figures it out. Without the help of her lovely girlfriend Tara, she might as well be alone in the world. More than anything, they just want to live their lives without having to hide anything.  The girlfriend of Willow, a practicing witch since she was little. She was always shy, indifferent. No one ever really noticed her, and she never really spoke out. People made impacts on her life, but nothing like Willow had in college. She made the girl feel less alone, like there was someone who understood the craving for spells and the life that came from it. She found more than friendship in Willow, and now isn't sure what she'd be without her.  Buffy Summers' ex-boyfriend, a "commando" guy in the military. After he receives news of the strange happenings getting worse and worse in Salem, he's sent there. The reunion with Buffy's bestfriend could be friendly, but it could also be troublesome when he realizes why everything is so out of place. Things will only get worse, and he can see it from the start. Something must be done, even if it means the worst.  Owner of Pyramid Books in Salem, he's used to the fact that things aren't the usual. He isn't completely aware of what's out there, but he's got a good idea. A year prior, he lost someone dear to him and it made him reconsider life as he knew it. It was time to start living life for fun, and it wasn't all about work and success. Live it up now and then, just be sure you're careful when doing so. Revenge is a lighthearted thing in his eyes, and a lot of the time he loses sense of what's right. EPISODES  Willow and Tara arrive in Salem, Massachusetts. The view of their future seems bright from here, but the moment they show up at their new home... things don't seem quite right. Almost immediately, Willow gets a terrible feeling about the house. Soon after, Tara sees exactly why. Sheldon complicates thing when he has Willow go through a difficult tarot card reading. READ PILOT HERE : acrobat.com/#d=2Xsn8rCXwU3CWLhstfYg3g The evil equivalent of Willow and Tara is in town. Two witches that practice in the dark arts will stop at nothing to make sure they steal the power the two white witches and keep them from saving their victims and ultimately defeating them.  A "big bad" is successful in separating Willow from her mystical side, which also happens to be evil. Powerless, Willow must rely on Tara to keep them safe and somehow get Willow's powers back in her where they can't be used to harm defenseless civilians and possibly themselves. More episodes and descriptions to be added. Offical theme song: [/b] - This series would have an underlying comedic theme, but I have intentions for it to be a bit more dark than the actual "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" series. |
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 29, 2012 13:58:17 GMT -6
So I like the pitch.
Im assuming that this takes place during Season 6 of Buffy and after "Entropy"?
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Post by xsylviamoonx on Mar 29, 2012 16:20:08 GMT -6
So I like the pitch. Im assuming that this takes place during Season 6 of Buffy and after "Entropy"? You are correct! |
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 31, 2012 12:29:55 GMT -6
NICE  I cant wait to see the Scooby gang come and visit |
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Post by Aimee Nicole on Apr 1, 2012 17:46:29 GMT -6
REVIEW: "Pilot" - Aimee Nicole First and foremost, I want to say that out of all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow and Tara were two of my most favorite characters. Especially Willow. I pretty much stopped watching religiously after they killed Tara, although I never considered the 6th season all that great anyway -- aside from Dark Willow. The idea of a spin-off with these two, done right, really appealrs to me. Anyways, that said, let's get started on this review. I think you started out with a good teaser. It did really well to pull me in and to get me interested. And you ended it out with a softer note after a rather intense start. I felt that was a really good move. The main problems I had with it, and consequently the rest of the script, were the dialogue and an issue with redundancy. I'm extremely picky with dialogue, both when I read it and when I myself am writing it. I've said this to a few other people as well, but when you're writing dialogue always make sure that it sounds like something an actual human being would say. If it's a conversation, read it back and forth with a friend or someone, or just say it out loud to yourself. Make sure that it doesn't sound awkward and like it's something you would hear yourself or someone else saying in real life. If it doesn't, try re-wording it. This happens several times in the script, where I feel like the dialogue is awkward. I just suggest giving your dialogue a good look-over. With redundancy, I think I can give a few examples. In the teaser, Emily and Patrick's confrontation stands out to me the most. Take into account this particular exchange of dialogue: PATRICK
Everything? How did you give me everything?
I only did to you what you did to me.
EMILY
Okay, fine!
(beat)
But, with his sister? Why do I have the feeling
this was purely to get back at me? The bolded part already says what the italicized part did. I suggest just taking out the part I put in italics and simply leaving: "But, with his sister?". I feel keeping it in there is just redundant and unneeded. There are a few other places where this happens as well, so I just again suggest editing and making sure you're not saying the same thing twice. And of course, editing would eliminate any typos and grammatical errors as well, which there were a few that I noted. That out of the way, I want to say that what I enjoyed the most about your pilot was the exchanges between Willow and Sheldon. I really like Sheldon's character (though I admit it's hard to see Chris Evans in the role, but that's just me. I'm not sure why). The concept of this series is nice, in my opinion, and I really like the storyline of the pilot. I'm interested in seeing what else you have in store for this series, but I would like to see some changes made to the pilot. I feel like you could definitely take this farther and make it something great. All in all, I give it a 7/10. Good luck with this!
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Post by Aimee Nicole on Apr 1, 2012 17:49:30 GMT -6
I also wanted to add that, I think this series has potential to be standalone as well. As in, not a Buffy spin-off but something entirely of your own. But, that's just my opinion.
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Post by xsylviamoonx on Apr 2, 2012 16:42:10 GMT -6
REVIEW: "Pilot" - Aimee Nicole First and foremost, I want to say that out of all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow and Tara were two of my most favorite characters. Especially Willow. I pretty much stopped watching religiously after they killed Tara, although I never considered the 6th season all that great anyway -- aside from Dark Willow. The idea of a spin-off with these two, done right, really appealrs to me. Anyways, that said, let's get started on this review. I think you started out with a good teaser. It did really well to pull me in and to get me interested. And you ended it out with a softer note after a rather intense start. I felt that was a really good move. The main problems I had with it, and consequently the rest of the script, were the dialogue and an issue with redundancy. I'm extremely picky with dialogue, both when I read it and when I myself am writing it. I've said this to a few other people as well, but when you're writing dialogue always make sure that it sounds like something an actual human being would say. If it's a conversation, read it back and forth with a friend or someone, or just say it out loud to yourself. Make sure that it doesn't sound awkward and like it's something you would hear yourself or someone else saying in real life. If it doesn't, try re-wording it. This happens several times in the script, where I feel like the dialogue is awkward. I just suggest giving your dialogue a good look-over. With redundancy, I think I can give a few examples. In the teaser, Emily and Patrick's confrontation stands out to me the most. Take into account this particular exchange of dialogue: PATRICK
Everything? How did you give me everything?
I only did to you what you did to me.
EMILY
Okay, fine!
(beat)
But, with his sister? Why do I have the feeling
this was purely to get back at me? The bolded part already says what the italicized part did. I suggest just taking out the part I put in italics and simply leaving: "But, with his sister?". I feel keeping it in there is just redundant and unneeded. There are a few other places where this happens as well, so I just again suggest editing and making sure you're not saying the same thing twice. And of course, editing would eliminate any typos and grammatical errors as well, which there were a few that I noted. That out of the way, I want to say that what I enjoyed the most about your pilot was the exchanges between Willow and Sheldon. I really like Sheldon's character (though I admit it's hard to see Chris Evans in the role, but that's just me. I'm not sure why). The concept of this series is nice, in my opinion, and I really like the storyline of the pilot. I'm interested in seeing what else you have in store for this series, but I would like to see some changes made to the pilot. I feel like you could definitely take this farther and make it something great. All in all, I give it a 7/10. Good luck with this! I see what you meant with that example, and I absolutely agree. I should've looked over it a few times. It had already been stated so there was no need for her to say "why do I have this feeling?" when he had already said it was about that. Thanks for the criticism I appreciate the help(: ! |
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Post by Kat Q on Apr 4, 2012 18:04:54 GMT -6
Whenever I watched Buffy, I would just skip to the Willow parts xD. She and Tara were my favourites! I've read the first few acts of this pilot, and man is it good! Well done  . Can't wait to see it evolve! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2013 8:18:46 GMT -6
A series about Tara and Willow would have been very interesting!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2013 8:19:11 GMT -6
A series about Tara and Willow would have been very interesting!
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. Can't wait to see it evolve!