Screenwriter's Paradise (WITH PILOT)

[Connor J. J]

I just read the pilot and I really enjoyed it!

It flowed really nicely, and I enjoyed the aspect of the voiceovers. The characters also have their own distinct personalities and the fact that they clash also helps to amplify the characters' individual voices.

The script got a few laughs and smirks out of me, and a few of the jokes were really different than what I've seen before in comedies.

So far I prefer Andrew over Joshua, probably because I like his sarcastic humour and comments that he makes over Joshua's brash, saying what's on his mind style.

I loved the TV show and pop culture references, they set up the feel of the show. I especially liked the 'Do No Harm' joke.

I'd give the pilot 9/10. You have set up a really nice storyline and have some interesting characters, I'd look forward to reading this weekly as a series!

[Jamison]

May 31, 2013 6:59:25 GMT -6 Connor J. J said:

I just read the pilot and I really enjoyed it!

It flowed really nicely, and I enjoyed the aspect of the voiceovers. The characters also have their own distinct personalities and the fact that they clash also helps to amplify the characters' individual voices.

The script got a few laughs and smirks out of me, and a few of the jokes were really different than what I've seen before in comedies.

So far I prefer Andrew over Joshua, probably because I like his sarcastic humour and comments that he makes over Joshua's brash, saying what's on his mind style.

I loved the TV show and pop culture references, they set up the feel of the show. I especially liked the 'Do No Harm' joke.

I'd give the pilot 9/10. You have set up a really nice storyline and have some interesting characters, I'd look forward to reading this weekly as a series!

Thanks for taking the time to read and review the pilot, Connor! XD I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Making sure Joshua and Andrew had distinct voices and personalities was one of my main goals, so I'm glad I was able to achieve that. As more episodes are written, I'm sure they'll grow more into their own characters which will hopefully expand their distinction even more. It's interesting to hear that you're liking Andrew over Joshua! I'm glad there are a handful of opinions on this matter because the last thing I wanted to do was to make one character funny and the other one "not." So, hopefully I'll be able to keep that up in future episodes.

Gah! Again, thanks so much Connor! I'm thrilled about the support I'm getting for the show! XD

Even though the pilot is complete, I probably won't try to submit this to the network for approval or rejection until I've completed all the episodes of the first sequence (or at least most of them). I want to make sure it's something I would actually want to write.

[Jamison]

Screenwriter's Paradise - 1x02 "Bait & Switch" (Teaser Scene Only)

ninth-spectrum.weebly.com/uploads/6/8/3/8/6838324/screenwriters_paradise_-_102_teaser_scene.pdf

[Brady Brown]

The teaser was nice. It wasn't necessarily laugh out loud funny, but I did get a nice little chuckle picturing Drew's head banging against the headboard.

Keep it up!