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Post by Jason T. Davis on Jul 19, 2013 18:49:07 GMT -6
You've got an amazing concept here, Brady! I've always loved the idea of the multiverse, and dimensional travel. It's just always been something that catches my attention in movies and TV. So I was automatically attracted to this show. I went to take a look at the original pilot, but then saw that you're doing a rewrite so, I might as well wait until that's been complete, but I do plan on giving you my thoughts whenever the new pilot is up! Best of luck  Also, Tatiana Maslany... jesus christ. That's all I have to say. haha! |
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Post by Brady Brown on Jul 19, 2013 19:15:03 GMT -6
Thanks for the comments, Jason! Really glad you like the idea, and hopefully you'll enjoy the new pilot when I end up finishing it!  Oh, and I just started watching "Orphan Black"! I LOVE her. XD |
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Post by Brady Brown on Sept 17, 2013 17:44:28 GMT -6
Just to give this pitch a little bump:
Would anyone be interested in seeing an unofficial, written trailer just to see where I want to take the first season? Or is this pitch just a stick in the mud at the moment? XD
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Post by Jamison on Sept 17, 2013 17:46:08 GMT -6
UMH.....  |
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Post by Brady Brown on Sept 17, 2013 17:51:18 GMT -6
 (to keep the HP theme going here) |
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Post by Brady Brown on Sept 19, 2013 18:04:41 GMT -6
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Post by Jamison on Sept 20, 2013 18:34:29 GMT -6
That was AWESOME Brady! XD I'm looking forward to see what cool dimensions you decide to send these two characters to. This is a show that would really allow your imagination to run wild, so I'm pulling for this one all the way. Great trailer |
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Post by Brady Brown on Sept 21, 2013 21:48:13 GMT -6
Thanks, Chris! Really glad you enjoyed it. I've got tons of ideas for different dimensions planned, buuuut I should probably finish the pilot first. |
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Post by Brady Brown on Nov 18, 2013 17:04:43 GMT -6
Okay! So below is the new, redrafted pilot of "Reality"! The beginning has been fleshed out more to develop the two main characters, as well as introduced a new one. There's also background information regarding The Traveler. Besides that, nothing else has changed regarding the meat of the plot, it's just been extended - it now stands 73 pages. Would love to hear some feedback for everyone! Hopefully this one is much better!  SERIES PREMIERE l WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR FREEDOM? - When the President of the United States (Xander Berkeley) is approached with the idea of dimension traveling by the head scientist at Vickner Industries, Dr. Emilia Mead (Tatiana Maslany), he proposes that the world’s most deadliest criminals be sent away to a different reality. Thus, a lottery is conducted, but when the transporter malfunctions, all of the criminals are sent to different dimensions. But when two convicts are left behind, Adam Dashner (Shane West) and Lily Langley (Anna Kendrick), the government produces an offer for the two. Their reward: freedom. And they can’t pass it up. Gillian Anderson also stars. CLICK HERE FOR THE PILOT |
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Post by Jamison on Nov 19, 2013 18:03:21 GMT -6
I know I sent you this in PM format, but I though I'd post it here too REVIEW | REALITY 1x01 "Second Chances" Okay, I gave it a read and I really enjoyed this version. The best so far, although that's kind of the point to redrafts.  The first half of the script was excellent! I loved your addition of Dr. Emilia Clark Mead. *Haha! You forgot to change it once in the script* She was probably my favorite character in the episode. The one thing I thought about was the fact that she said she would be monitoring Adam and Lily throughout their missions, and we didn't get any of that in the episode. Kinda made me sad, because I wish we had gotten more from her. But I suspect we'd be getting more of that in future episodes. I found all the stuff back in our own dimension very interesting. The backstories you added for both Lily and Adam were so good, and added so much more depth to both characters! I'm glad you decided to expand on that a bit more, as I enjoyed Adam's character a lot more having seen some of his backstory, than I ever did without it. Still loving Lily just as much as I did before. The rest of the script pretty much remained the same, though it really benefited from those extra pages in the beginning. Felt more like a fully fledged, single episode, instead of a odd mixture of two - so that's a plus. The one thing that sort of stood out is that the dialogue can be a little too on the nose at times. I have this problem when I'm writing, and it usually takes me a few hours to tweak a single conversation. Writing dialogue is tough. So many ways a character can say one thing, and sometimes the most obvious, straight-forward way can be too plain. You just have to constantly buff up sentences and reword things here and there to add character and personality to the dialogue-- it's exhausting, but it pays off. Something I also have trouble with is getting inside the head and role of the characters I create. Like, if one of my characters is a expert on Quantum Theory, that means I have to become an expert on Quantum Theory, or at least be ready to fake the hell out of it when it comes to writing them. I think two characters you have a really nice grasp on are Lily and Emilia. I can very naturally see their unique personalities shining through from most of their dialogue. It's very organic. However, with characters like Hugh and Veronica... they're a bit more difficult to read from their dialogue. Overall, I think this was a great improvement! XD You've got a really amazing series here, that I'm pretty much convinced now would just grow and improve week to week, as you get into developing the characters and plot more and more. Sorry if this review isn't long enough. I didn't want to repeat anything from my previous review. |
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Post by Brady Brown on Nov 27, 2013 0:37:42 GMT -6
Just giving this thread a little bump, haha. Hopefully you guys can find some time to give some feedback, because it would be really appreciated! |
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