Star Trek: Courageous

[Alex Matthews]

CREATED BY ALEX M.P. MATTHEWS
BASED ON 'STAR TREK' CREATED BY GENE RODDENBERRY

A new virtual script series set in the world
created by Gene Roddenberry back in the 1960s,
and is now celebrating it's 50th anniversary.

The year is 2376, and it has been a year since the end of the Dominion War, a massive conflict between the United Federation of Planets and her allies, the Klingon Empire and the Romulan Star Empire, against the conquering forces of the Dominion and their subjugates, the Cardassian Union and the Breen Confederacy. The Federation is slowly recovering, existing in a state of relative peace, but these efforts still ongoing, as Starfleet, the exploration and defensive wing of the UFP, rebuilds it's damaged fleet of starships, while continuing with it’s main mission of exploration throughout the Milky Way Galaxy.

But with the advent of peace, comes the testing of the waters by various nefarious individuals, who look upon the end of hostilities as an opportunity to once again stretch forth and make their own mark.

The Starship Courageous, NCC-41976, an older second-generation starship, was due to be decommissioned until the losses from Dominion attacks caused Starfleet Command to recall many older ships and retrofit them to supplement the fleet. Once the war ended, the Courageous was refit and assigned to Star Station Theta, an out of the way civilian run freeport, on the fringes of an area of space that fell under the control of the Orion Syndicate, a criminal organisation taking advantage of the war to expand their sphere of influence.  Because of this, pirate activity has increased heavily, colonies have closed themselves off and smaller independent ships have had to constantly deal with the threat of attacks.

The re-assignment of the Courageous, the largest ship ever permanently assigned to the station’s purview, was to send a message to those in the area that any belief that the Federation is weakened by the war would be in error.
It has NOT been as successful as Starfleet Command hoped.

A random attack leaves the Courageous badly damaged, it’s captain dead, and crew demoralised, so Starfleet is quick to assign a new commanding officer, with orders to continue showing the flag, and bring the renegades to heel at all costs. But with the crew unsure of their new C.O., not to mention the new officers she has also brought onboard, the mission will not be an easy one.

Half-human, half-Vulcan, raised on Earth, but later embraced certain aspects of the mental discipline and training Vulcans are renown for, and learned to balance that with human emotion. Has naturally dark hair, like most Vulcans, but adds streaks of blonde and red depending on her mood, and worn in a more flattering cut then the usual 'bowl cut' seen throughout Vulcan society. Although her training allows her to easily surpress her emotions, she prefers to use that training to keep them in check without totally being cut off from them. Married to Science Officer Costanza, and it was at her invitation that he accepted the position on the Courageous.

Served as Executive Officer (X.O.) under Courageous’ former Commanding Officer (C.O.) Captain Harold Windsor for 3 and half years, joining the crew a year or so before the Dominion War, and despite this being his first X.O. position, expected to be offered command of the Courageous after supervising it’s most recent refit. Harbours some resentment for being passed over for command of the Courageous himself, feeling his time aboard should have earned him that right. Cocky and arrogant at times, especially when dealing with his new commanding officer, but has earned the respect of his junior officers, due to his habit of leading from the front. Having come up through the security division of Starfleet, he has seen a lot of direct conflict, and has many a scar as a result.

Originally raised to take over running her family’s pirating/slave trade business, by playing the demure female role many Orion women embrace to be the 'power behind the throne', R’Nara instead ran away from home and was taken in by a passing trade ship and it’s crew as their unofficial mascot. There, she nutured a love of space travel, and learning about other races, and developed her natural talent for languages as well as being a talented amateur psychologist. This eventually lead her to Starfleet Academy where she excelled in her studies and worked her way up through a variety of shipboard and station-based positions, not eager to be tied down for too long, finding it easier to maintain a professional detachment from her fellow crewmates.

One of the older members of the crew, the husband of Captain T'Sara, who when offered command of the Courageous, offered him the vacant science officer’s position, in order for them to serve together for a while, since the ship’s primary scientific mission is exploring and mapping the region Star Station Theta oversees. A generalist, Leonardo has a background in almost every science discipline, making him a perfect candidate for Science Officer, although his passion is stellar cartography and astrophysics. He also has a love of classical music and plays the violin in his free time, accompanied by his wife on her Vulcan lyre.

A highly empathic Deltan, raised in the healing arts since childhood, she decided to put her knowledge to use with Starfleet, signing on as a civilian medical officer during the Dominion War, and continued to serve once the war came to a close. Once care-free and vivacious, seeing time as a combat medic has hardened her, and although she is happy to continue serving aboard starships, she longs for some peace from pain. Although she considered retiring from duty, and returning to her homeworld of Delta IV, she was approached by T'Sara, an old acquaintance, to join her on the Courageous. With it being an out of the way assignment, she accepted, hoping it would allow her to conduct more research, her second love, since she should not be seeing combat as often as before.

Blessed with an above average aptitude for mechanical engineering, Hrov glasch Brnash is not like most Tellarites - while he still likes a good argument, he won’t deliberately provoke one just for his own amusement. This attitude comes from being raised by his human governess while his birth parents focused more on social climbing then their family dynamic, and he was more then happy to get away from it all by joining Starfleet Academy. The former senior assistant chief engineer of the Courageous, he is a hold over from the former crew, replacing the previous chief after her death during the Dominion War, and was placed in charge of the refit and rebuild the Courageous underwent once the peace was brokered. He then stayed on once the ship was returned to active duty and assigned to it’s current location, hoping that the generally slow work giving him plenty of time to tweak and refine the ship’s systems more to his liking.

Formerly the assistant chief of security aboard the Courageous, she earned a battlefield promotion to the rank of full lieutenant after replacing her superior who was killed during the recent attack by the Syndicate. Although relatively young, she moved up the ranks of security quickly due to the toll of the war on Starfleet personnel. Happiest in the phaser range, where she is a crack shot, or practising all kinds of martial arts moves in the gymnasium, she takes her duty seriously, and keeping the ship and crew safe is her number one priority. She also takes the deaths of any of the crew very personally, feeling it is her responsibility and therefore, her fault, if someone dies on her watch.

Inspired by a badly regarded family member who joined Starfleet, ch’Lene is a solitary soul, unusual for an Andorian, who mate in groups of four. He never joined a bond group of his own, due to a genetic condition that makes him unable to contribute to the creation of any offspring. More comfortable with computer systems then people, he excelled in his chosen studies at Starfleet Academy, and tends to focus on his duty to the detriment of his social skills, which has quickly lead to him making his way from being a low-ranked junior technician to an senior specialist. However, due to his poor social skills, his rank hasn’t been as quickly promoted as his duties, because of his inability to interact with people outside of them. As a result, he has often bounced from one assignment to another, mostly at starbases or smaller ships, the Courageous being his first cruiser-based assignment since his graduation.

The latest in a long line of Starfleet Academy graduates from her family, Aseema broke the tradition of joining up as a science specialist by instead putting her natural talents as a pilot to use. Although she has the brains and intellect to hold her own in any scientific argument she comes across, and even took electives in several scientific disciplines while at the Academy, it is at the helm of a starship where she feels the most comfortable and the most relaxed. A bit of a party girl, she knows how to have a good time, although it can get her into trouble with superiors when she pushes the envelope a little too far while on shore leave.

Season One

1x01: Attention to Orders [Part One]

The crew of the USS Courageous, assigned as one of several vessels in a long-forgotten corner of the Federation, must contend with the arrival of a new commanding officer. A standard milk run allows the crew a chance to become familiar with each other. But when a distress call diverts their attention, it‘s only the beginning of a crisis that will test this crew and ship to the best of the their abilities.

1x02: The Family Business [Part Two]

Barely surviving a surprise attack, thanks to the timely intervention of an unidentified privateer, the crew of the Courageous find themselves returning the favour. Stumbling across the privateer after it’s taken a beating, they take it in tow for repairs and medical aid, as well as to answer a few important questions. For Counselor Kellinnin, though, the journey back gives her the chance to deal with an uncomfortable reunion, as the tension between Captain T’Sara and Commander Erickson reaches boiling point.

1x03: Survivors

A detachment of Starfleet Assault Forces is assigned to the Courageous to keep the peace and restore Federation order to Sector 27. While Erickson is reunited with an old friend assigned as their squad commander, Matthias deals with her resentment at their arrival, and the feelings of inadequacy it forms in her own security division. T’Sara and Da Costa, while trying to have a ‘date night’, are wined and dined by Jaicyn Norven, civilian administrator of Star Station Theta.

1x04: Strategic Manuevers

Starfleet assigns the Courageous and it’s crew their first mission against the Syndicate, and are sent to act as a distraction, luring a heavy Syndicate patrol away from a Federation colony that they have taken over, allowing a strike team to make planet fall in an attempt to better assess the situation. They encounter armed Syndicate forces and Federation citizens resisting the occupation. However, resentment stemming from what they perceive as their abandonment may interfere with everyone working together.

1x05: Under Oath

Nyia Lanjar has always placed her Hippocratic Oath first and foremost in her life since she qualified as a doctor, but since signing up with Starfleet, has found there are times when her duty and her oath clash. However, her desire to help and heal leads her and her shipmates into trouble during a planetary survey, when a Syndicate ship crash lands and she and her escort are taken prisoner by it’s surviving crew.

1x06: Secrets of Varos’ii

The crew of the Courageous are stunned to discover a planet in a system they are mapping that initial surveys insist wasn’t there before. An away team discovers a barren world, with no signs of life, but a strange artefact in what they believe to be the remains of a major city. Returning to the ship with the artefact, T’Sara cannot help but notice when certain members of the crew start exhibiting strange behaviour, wanting to return to the planet despite it‘s inhospitable conditions.

1x07: The Wasting [Part One]

On a routine visit to one of the Federation colonies that the Courageous previously liberated from Orion Syndicate ‘protection’, the crew are horrified to discover that the populace has become infected with some kind of designer pathogen. Nyia Lanjar has her work cut out for her as she works on finding a cure, but must deal with some personal issues when the medical ship sent to help turns out to be commanded by her abusive ex-husband.

1x08: The Stranger [Part Two]

The source of the disease has been discovered, and the Courageous personnel are forced to intercede when panic and civilian unrest causes trouble on the New Kansas colony. Nyia finds herself bonding to the mysterious individual they discovered on the planet, and forced to defend her when colonists, looking for someone to blame, turn on them, and take them hostage.

1x09: Blood On His Hands

The USS Courageous is stopped dead is space by three heavily armed vessels demanding the extradition of Ulyn Ravin, commander of the ship‘s Assault Forces team. Captain T’Sara and her senior officers must crack decades-old silence to stop Ravin‘s removal and eventual execution. But when Ravin admits his guilt, things become even more complicated.

1x10: Appointment at Samara

The Courageous is assigned to lead a small task force of ships to take out a Syndicate base that acts as a supply base for the sector. But soon the mission is thrown into chaos and put at risk when a signal is sent towards Syndicate forces, giving them time to prepare for the attack. Captain T’Sara soon has a ticking clock in her hands, preparing for a bigger fight then expected, as well as discovering the traitor in her midst.

1x11: The Gunrunner

While running a routine patrol, the crew of the USS Courageous come up across a small vessel on the run from Syndicate ships. After a brief skirmish, they break off, and soon, the femme fatale owner of the ship is making a large impact on the population of the vessel. But investigations soon reveal more to the woman then she cares to admit..

1x12: Loss of Innocence

When she was only 6 years old, Alexis Mattias lost her father when the ship he was assigned to vanished without a trace. Now, the Courageous encounters a mysterious vortex of energy, in which they encounter the preserved hulk of the USS Mariner, lost almost 30 years ago. The majority of the crew are still alive, having not aged a day, but something has changed them - left them different. Can Matthias rekindle her father's heart, before the Courageous becomes trapped as well?

1x13: Reversal of Fortune [Part One]

While the shuttle carrying Kellinnin and Da Costa is attacked and destroyed, the Courageous crew are left in mourning, especially a guilty, regretful Erickson and a devasted T‘Sara. However, life must go on when the Courageous is detailed to transport a member of the Orion Syndicate to ‘talks’ to establish a truce between themselves and Starfleet. But T’Sara, haunted by dreams that convince her Da Costa is also still alive, decides to risk everything to get her husband back safely.

This is a project I've been working on and off for about the last two years or so. I've read quite a few virtual Trek series - 'Star's End', 'Knight's Haven', 'Premonition', and I've also read and wrote dozens of fanfictions on new crews and ships, set during the runs of DS9 and Voyager, and beyond.
I LOVE Star Trek, and it will always be my first love. I'm talking about the true Trek, the original Gene Roddenberry created and inspired series, not the action-packed, lens-flared filled JJ Abrams adaption. I do like those films, as films, but there not really 'Trek' to me.

With the fun I've been having with M:SCU, 'casting' and plotting out how various seasons will work, I decided to give into my urge to see if I could do the same with a Trek one. All these characters are ones I created specifically for this series, while the episodes are based on or inspired by episodes I developed for an unfinished fanfiction of the same name, but focusing on a different type of ship and crew. Setting it post-Dominion War (a massive conflict between the Federation and the Dominion that cost millions of lives) means that the series can deal with the fallout of the war itself without being drawn into it. Having the Orion Syndicate (a criminal organisation that was featured in several DS9 episodes during the later years) featured was something I've always wanted to do, because it's the complete antithesis of the Federation, motivated by greed and profit, without a care for those they step on, while loyal to it's own operatives.
The pilot is undergoing some final tweaking, and it's part of a two parter, so not everything will be resolved, so be prepared for that! The general idea of the first season is to focus on the crew coming together, and many episodes (as you will see above) are two-parters to allow storylines to be explored fully over a 2-hour window.
A second season is currently being planned and arced out, character points and ideas are in place for later seasons but further detailed planning will depend on if the series is green lit. Naturally events depicted in the other series/films that run along the same timeline will be referenced and explored, but ideally the series will stand on it's own two legs.
I know that there is a new Trek series coming up, but details are still very vague on when/where it will be set and no one has been cast. This is my own personal attempt on filling that void, while also honoring what has come before.

Final words: Many, many thanks to the fabulous Darrin McCann for all his hard work with the above graphics!!

[Jon Van Pelt]

Finally a pitch for a new Star Trek series! How cool is that!!!

Being a ‘Trekkie’, every now and then I feel the urge to write some good old fashioned fanfiction myself. Last time that happened was last year. Surprisingly there’re some similarities between your pitch and mine:
- the setting was between the end of the Dominion War and Nemesis
- dealt with different factions trying to take advantage of the power vacuum after the war
- featured Orions in the pilot episode
Just to name a few examples.

Of course that’s just all coincidence but had I known you were working one a Star Trek pitch, it would have been fun working on it together.

But on to your pitch:

You’ve definitely worked everything out into great detail. I think you found the right balance between action/character/adventure here. It’s Star Trek but not too trekkie. You’ve got a very diverse crew with different backgrounds to explore. Also nice to see characters from the ‘old’ races featured in the crew (Andorians, Tellarites and Deltans).

I’m really wondering how you’re going to handle the split personality of Captain T’Sara. When it comes to hybrids (like Spock or B’Elanna Torres), it often felt they searched the extremes (Spock trying to be even more logical than a full Vulcan or B’Elanna fighting her Klingon half).

Hope this gets picked up!

Great graphics btw!

[Jack Malone]

I'll be honest, I know nothing about Star Trek and have never had an interest to get invested in the series. With that being said, that'll play absolutely no role in whether or not you get picked up.  However, I would like to know how much of this show relies on the audience being aware of the Star Trek universe and how much of it will provide to anyone interested in reading a sci-fi series? I would love to know because I know you are quite well versed in referencing and drawing connections to the pre-established worlds you're playing in (as you do with Smallville and DC Comics in MSCU) and so I'm a little worried if this pitch can appeal to more than just a Star Trek fan -- which again, doesn't factor into chances of a pickup but rather my own curiosity of whether or not it's something I'd be able to read week to week and if it's a show that welcomes readers with no knowledge of Star Trek and that particular world. Overall, you've put a great deal of thought and passion into this project. I'm not a huge fan of putting in all your episodes, titles and descriptions in a pitch so I've made an effort not to read that but I appreciate how prepared you are to get this series up and running. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to the two-parter pilot! 

[Alex Matthews]

Jun 17, 2016 7:04:36 GMT -6 Jack Malone said:

I'll be honest, I know nothing about Star Trek and have never had an interest to get invested in the series. With that being said, that'll play absolutely no role in whether or not you get picked up.  However, I would like to know how much of this show relies on the audience being aware of the Star Trek universe and how much of it will provide to anyone interested in reading a sci-fi series? I would love to know because I know you are quite well versed in referencing and drawing connections to the pre-established worlds you're playing in (as you do with Smallville and DC Comics in MSCU) and so I'm a little worried if this pitch can appeal to more than just a Star Trek fan -- which again, doesn't factor into chances of a pickup but rather my own curiosity of whether or not it's something I'd be able to read week to week and if it's a show that welcomes readers with no knowledge of Star Trek and that particular world. Overall, you've put a great deal of thought and passion into this project. I'm not a huge fan of putting in all your episodes, titles and descriptions in a pitch so I've made an effort not to read that but I appreciate how prepared you are to get this series up and running. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to the two-parter pilot! 

Hey Jack, thanks for the feedback!

Obviously, given that the Trek universe is so large and well developed, there will be the occasional references to it throughout the run of the series. While a semi-decent understanding of Trek history and lore would be advantageous, I am going into the episode outlines with the idea being that if a point needs explaining, it will be, via exposition or visuals.

If the show where to be picked up, I would provide certain behind-the-scenes news features and exclusives to allow readers a chance to 'see' how things work so they know something as they go into the series proper. Setting it after the 'Dominion War' gives me a certain freedom for stories being seperate from the War itself, while dealing with the consequences of how it affects the characters and situations.

It's funny you should mention the episode outlines - I actually did go through them and remove certain spoilers/references and such so not everything was given away in the pitch itself I'd like to think that once you read the pilot episode (which should be up by the end of the week at the latest), although I might have to occasionally explain a reference here or there, it will be the characters that really draw you back into the show itself.

[Alex Matthews]

Jun 15, 2016 4:35:27 GMT -6 Jon Van Pelt said:

Finally a pitch for a new Star Trek series! How cool is that!!!

Being a ‘Trekkie’, every now and then I feel the urge to write some good old fashioned fanfiction myself. Last time that happened was last year. Surprisingly there’re some similarities between your pitch and mine:
- the setting was between the end of the Dominion War and Nemesis
- dealt with different factions trying to take advantage of the power vacuum after the war
- featured Orions in the pilot episode
Just to name a few examples.

Of course that’s just all coincidence but had I known you were working one a Star Trek pitch, it would have been fun working on it together.

But on to your pitch:

You’ve definitely worked everything out into great detail. I think you found the right balance between action/character/adventure here. It’s Star Trek but not too trekkie. You’ve got a very diverse crew with different backgrounds to explore. Also nice to see characters from the ‘old’ races featured in the crew (Andorians, Tellarites and Deltans).

I’m really wondering how you’re going to handle the split personality of Captain T’Sara. When it comes to hybrids (like Spock or B’Elanna Torres), it often felt they searched the extremes (Spock trying to be even more logical than a full Vulcan or B’Elanna fighting her Klingon half).

Hope this gets picked up!

Great graphics btw!

Hey Jon, thanks for the vote of encouragement - if I'd known you were a Trekkie, I might have dropped you a message and seen if you'd want to give the pilot a read

Thanks for the compliments to the pitch as well - no matter the universe, for me, a story starts with it's characters. I've created dozens of ships and crews in my years as a writer, but this crew, given I've 'cast them' in live action form, and had those gorgeous images created by Mr. McCann, they've really taken a soft spot in my heart! While some concepts and names are recycled from old fanfiction of mine, all these characters are completely original and new for me.
I wanted not just a ethnically diverse crew, but also one that showed that many aliens take positions within Starfleet. Not only that, but having older hands like T'Sara and Da Costa watching over younger officers like Singh and Matthias felt like decent storytelling way to reflect the looses from the Dominion War.
That's also the reason I settled on an older type of starship. Many fanfics focus on state of the art, top of the line ships, new or originally created classes, depending on when they were written. The Courageous might have been refit several times, but she's still an older ship, hence her nickname, the 'Grand Old Lady'.
T'Sara is a fun character to right. I don't really think of her as being in the same vein as Spock or B'Elanna, but I like the idea you suggest of them being certain extremes. I think you'll understand that T'Sara is in a class of her own when you see her written on the page.

[Alex Matthews]

The pilot of "Star Trek: Courageous" is now live for you to read, peruse and enjoy at your leisure!! Click on the episode number/name to be taken to Weebly and either open or save it.

(NOTE: I also editted down the detail in the episode synopses, due to Jack's comments)

[Brady Brown]

I will somewhat echo what Jack said in that I have absolutely no Star Trek knowledge, apart from the fact that I have seen and rather enjoyed the recent JJ Abraham's movies. With that being said, I am aware of your massive love for this series, and so I have absolutely no doubt that this will be an incredibly accurate and honest portrayal of the world that this series is set in. But anyway, I just wanted to give that little preface before moving onto the pitch.

I think this is a really interesting idea. I'm really intrigued with the idea of focusing on the aftermath of what seems like this truly devastating and deadly war and how these distinct characters are going to move on with their lives, especially with a new Captain. I'm a fan of the modern Battlestar Galactica, and I really enjoy science fiction in general, so this plot does really appeal to me. So far, R'nara and Nyia seem to be the most intruiging to me. I will say though that a lot of the terms, species, etc. don't make any sense to me, and I'm aware because that's my lack of knowledge. I in no way expect you to explain every one of them in great detail, but I do caution you to keep that in mind when writing—that a majority of the people won't know what you're talking about with Star Trek specifics.

But all in all, a really thoughtful, intruiging, well put together pitch, and I'm excited to get to the pilot!

Also, Darrin back at it again with them spectacular graphics.

[Alex Matthews]

Apologies, guys, I just realized I uploaded an older edit of the script, missing a few vital tweaks I made after the suggestion of Jack (which Brady echoed).

If you've already downloaded, it's not that essential, it just allows more for non-Trekkies to understand things a bit better - using actual descriptions instead ot using 'looks like that thing from that Trek episode". Link is still in the episode name/number.

[Alex Matthews]

Jun 17, 2016 17:45:12 GMT -6 Brady Brown said:

I will somewhat echo what Jack said in that I have absolutely no Star Trek knowledge, apart from the fact that I have seen and rather enjoyed the recent JJ Abraham's movies. With that being said, I am aware of your massive love for this series, and so I have absolutely no doubt that this will be an incredibly accurate and honest portrayal of the world that this series is set in. But anyway, I just wanted to give that little preface before moving onto the pitch.

I think this is a really interesting idea. I'm really intrigued with the idea of focusing on the aftermath of what seems like this truly devastating and deadly war and how these distinct characters are going to move on with their lives, especially with a new Captain. I'm a fan of the modern Battlestar Galactica, and I really enjoy science fiction in general, so this plot does really appeal to me. So far, R'nara and Nyia seem to be the most intruiging to me. I will say though that a lot of the terms, species, etc. don't make any sense to me, and I'm aware because that's my lack of knowledge. I in no way expect you to explain every one of them in great detail, but I do caution you to keep that in mind when writing—that a majority of the people won't know what you're talking about with Star Trek specifics.

But all in all, a really thoughtful, intruiging, well put together pitch, and I'm excited to get to the pilot!

Also, Darrin back at it again with them spectacular graphics.

As a movie watcher, I do enjoy the Abramsverse films, but as 30-year fan of the original franchise, I can't call them "Star Trek" in the same way.

I'm glad you like the idea, Brady, and I look forward to your thoughts on the show, as a fellow science-fiction and fantasy writer of some esteem R'Nara is definitely a character I have a solid idea of where she comes from, how it's affected her, and where it will take her in the longer run of a series. That's not to say that all the others aren't as developed in my head - everyone has a detailed background blurb, as well as several key character points that I bare in mind as I write them. You'll see what I mean when you read the script - they may be military-eqsue officers, but these people are definitely screwed up in their own ways...

If you liked the JJ-films, I think that should give you a basic groundings in some of the main kinds of terminology that is essential. Things like 'warp drive', 'transporters', 'phasers' and 'tricorders' are concepts both iterations share. If/When we are picked up, and references have to be made to certain events that might be out of the understanding of new readers, I think it would be good policy for me to at least drop in some natural exposition to allow those newbies some clue as to what I'm actually talking about

As for Darrin, I don't think my enthusiasm for making this pitch would be half it is without his gorgeous artwork. The fact he was able to turn people into alien versions of themselves for me, I'm still 'beaming'

[Jon Van Pelt]

“Attention to orders” – review (note: I downloaded the original version)

This is not VirtualStarTrek.com but theVPN. When I downloaded the episode I suddenly realized how difficult it is to write a good ‘Star Trek’ pilot for everyone to like. It has to cater to the fans as well being able to bring in the uninitiated.
Star Trek has so much history, I know it must be daunting for non-fans to start on a new show – afraid that they won’t get everything.
So first: kudos to you Alex for trying!

I think the first rule for the creator of any new Star Trek show should be: make it your own. Pretend you’re the one who came up with the concept of the Federation, Starfleet, the Klingons, the Vulcans, … . Build the Trek universe from ground up again. If viewers or readers need to know Trek history to understand a certain plot point, dialogue, alien race… Just drop it or make it part of the story in a way that lifts the experience.

So, like Captain T’Sara, I must be half-fan/half non-fan in my review of the pilot episode :

Let me just start with stating that as a fan growing up in Star Trek’s golden age, Courage feels like a natural continuation of the shows produced in that era. Everything is just perfect in this pilot. The dialogue, your descriptions, the techno lingo,… You really know your Trek inside out. Truly amazing! You own it all and it shows in your writing.

Since you’re working in an established universe, you’ve got the luxury to just jump into a story. But that can also be a serious disadvantage. When you mention “oberth-class” or “Nausican” any Trek fan can instantly visualize the scene. But that doesn’t work for a reader who has never seen Trek before. So I think that part of the script needs some more work. Explaining the universe in the action sequences without overdoing it.

This pilot episode had to introduce quite a lot of characters and you only needed two acts to do so. After that the adventure starts and we’re left at the edge of our seats when the end credits roll. I really liked the mystery surrounding the Redoubtable. Great work.

The character that stood out to me was definitely Commander Erickson. His interactions with the crew and Captain T’Sara. He’s a dedicated officer, but at the moment his judgement is a bit troubled. Really interesting what his personal journey will be.

The one thing that for some reason didn’t really worked for me was the relationship between Captain T’Sara and Commander Da Costa. Don’t ask me why, but somehow their loving banter didn’t come across as being truly meant. Somehow I feel there’s something more going on between Da Costa and Lanjar. But that’s probably just my imagination running wild  .

So my end verdict:

As a fan, I really enjoyed the pilot though it may need some more work to make it accessible for people who’ve never seen an episode of Trek. From a commercial standpoint: picking up an established show like Star Trek brings in new readers who otherwise wouldn’t visit theVPN. It could draw some more attention to our original programming .

[Alex Matthews]

Jun 19, 2016 9:12:00 GMT -6 Jon Van Pelt said:

“Attention to orders” – review (note: I downloaded the original version)

This is not VirtualStarTrek.com but theVPN. When I downloaded the episode I suddenly realized how difficult it is to write a good ‘Star Trek’ pilot for everyone to like. It has to cater to the fans as well being able to bring in the uninitiated.
Star Trek has so much history, I know it must be daunting for non-fans to start on a new show – afraid that they won’t get everything.
So first: kudos to you Alex for trying!

I think the first rule for the creator of any new Star Trek show should be: make it your own. Pretend you’re the one who came up with the concept of the Federation, Starfleet, the Klingons, the Vulcans, … . Build the Trek universe from ground up again. If viewers or readers need to know Trek history to understand a certain plot point, dialogue, alien race… Just drop it or make it part of the story in a way that lifts the experience.

So, like Captain T’Sara, I must be half-fan/half non-fan in my review of the pilot episode :

Let me just start with stating that as a fan growing up in Star Trek’s golden age, Courage feels like a natural continuation of the shows produced in that era. Everything is just perfect in this pilot. The dialogue, your descriptions, the techno lingo,… You really know your Trek inside out. Truly amazing! You own it all and it shows in your writing.

Since you’re working in an established universe, you’ve got the luxury to just jump into a story. But that can also be a serious disadvantage. When you mention “oberth-class” or “Nausican” any Trek fan can instantly visualize the scene. But that doesn’t work for a reader who has never seen Trek before. So I think that part of the script needs some more work. Explaining the universe in the action sequences without overdoing it.

This pilot episode had to introduce quite a lot of characters and you only needed two acts to do so. After that the adventure starts and we’re left at the edge of our seats when the end credits roll. I really liked the mystery surrounding the Redoubtable. Great work.

The character that stood out to me was definitely Commander Erickson. His interactions with the crew and Captain T’Sara. He’s a dedicated officer, but at the moment his judgement is a bit troubled. Really interesting what his personal journey will be.

The one thing that for some reason didn’t really worked for me was the relationship between Captain T’Sara and Commander Da Costa. Don’t ask me why, but somehow their loving banter didn’t come across as being truly meant. Somehow I feel there’s something more going on between Da Costa and Lanjar. But that’s probably just my imagination running wild  .

So my end verdict:

As a fan, I really enjoyed the pilot though it may need some more work to make it accessible for people who’ve never seen an episode of Trek. From a commercial standpoint: picking up an established show like Star Trek brings in new readers who otherwise wouldn’t visit theVPN. It could draw some more attention to our original programming .

Thanks for the review, Jon!

Yourself, Jack and Brady have all made very good points on the idea of introducing new fans to Trek, and I've already gone back over the script several more times, hopefully with a more critical eye, trying to look for moments that a non-fan needs a bit more explanation. Your comments on the Oberth-class are addressed already in the second upload, while the Nausicaan and other races are given a tad more explanation in the latest reworkings.

Previous Trek-based shows like DS9 and Voyager introduced an 'outsider' character, who acts as an audience surrogate, in order to faciliate explanations on certain things, and I do have plans to introduce someone like that halfway through the first season. Hopefully in later episodes that will slightly alleviate any moments when I have to fit in extra little descriptions or explanations, and shifting it to punch dialogue instead.

Erickson is a lot of fun to write, but I'm trying to balance his distrust of T'Sara alongside his grief at the loss of his mentor. She'll eventually earn his respect, but it's not going to be an easy relationship for them to begin with.

It's a shame, though, you feel that way about T'Sara and Da Costa, their dialogue came very easily during the writing, and I'm enjoying writing a Vulcan character who is so in touch with her emotions. I am looking forward to writing her inerations with other Vulcans, because she tends to break the mold - I think in her own mind, she embraces the best aspects of both races. She's never really had to worry about balancing both aspects. I'm glad though, you picked up on the slight subtext between Lanjar and Da Costa - I wanted something there, without being too obvious. Lanjar IS Deltan, meaning she's very sensual and loving, it's what makes her an excellent doctor, and the reason a civillian can be assigned as a Chief Medical Officer to a Starfleet vessel. Both Da Costa and T'Sara mean the world to her - the three of them have a very deep connection, which will be fun to delve into and explore later on.

[Brady Brown]

I think the main issue with the pilot I have is that it really relies on a previous existing knowledge of Star Trek and it's lore. A lot of the descriptions of the races go along the lines of "a typical Vulcan" etc, and that's just really hard for me to picture except for pointy ears (which I'm sure is not the only distinction of a Vulcan). That, and there's a lot of description for ships, places, and things like that and it gets overly complex with how its described. Maybe it's only me, but I found myself re-reading multiple action lines because I couldn't get a proper visual of what it was meant to look like.

With that being said, however, the characters are the real shining star. Everyone was so distinct and clear, and I really enjoyed getting to see the reactions to T'Sara becoming the Captain. Standouts for me included T'Sara and R'Nara. Everyone was great, though.

[Brian Melanson]

Alright, a Star Trek. I will be quite frank and up front, I've never really got into Star Trek. More of a Star Wars guy myself, but that's because I practically was raised in a family that worshipped it. But anyway. I'm feeling very mixed about this. From reading the description about what the series will be, it feels like I'm expected to know everything about the Star Trek series. Like I said, I've never really gotten into Star Trek aside from the quippy little references in pop culture shows such as "Family Guy", and of course, the JJ Abrams movies. That's really the only Star Trek I was exposed too. And I think what those movies did was make sure you didn't have to watch the original series from the 60s and 70s. I think what you need to do here is make it universal for new viewers. From my knowledge, when Doctor Who was brought back in 2005, not everyone could watch the original series with the OG Doctors. And while that's still peppered throughout the series even to this day with Peter Capaldi, they had to show what this show was about. They had to bring new viewers in. They just didn't expect everyone to go "Oh yeah, Doctor Who, I know everything about that". So, I think that's where you need to improve. You need to think about your audience. And while huge Star Trek fans could love this, you do have to think about that one percent who don't really know much.

I think if you take the characters you've created and slowly introduced us to this universe with a story that brings the characters together, then I think you have something there. But saying it takes place between this movie and that movie, could make it a bit complicated. So, just take what you have and look at it. You have an idea here that could really work as a show set in the Star Trek Universe, but you shouldn't be expecting everyone to know everything about anything. I will be giving the pilot a read in the coming weeks and leaving my thoughts after reading that, but these are just my thoughts now.