Post by Brian Melanson on Jun 29, 2015 11:49:52 GMT -6
So I just read over the pitch and here are few things that I think would improve it.
- Characters. Who are they? What are there intentions? So far all we have is just their names and what their stories are but we don't know who they are. I would suggest character bios. You don't have to worry about casting right away. It's best to get to know who they are and what their intentions for the show will be. All you've done so far is just mention them in the Summary and episode descriptions. I would make a list for them and explain who they are. Give some background and what their traits are.
- Episodes. It seems like you do have it all planned out, minus a few episode titles and summaries. But while this is undeveloped, it's okay. My suggestion for you, and this would make it a lot easier. Structure episode numbers like "1x01: EPISODE TITLE". A lot of writers use this to sort their episodes by seasons and it just looks a bit neater in the pitch process.
- My one concern with this is, that it is an already established universe. Shows that have an established universe can be hard because at that point, you have limits to what you cannot do. Granted this show is an old concept and was rebooted by Tim Button. It still has an established universe. My suggestion would be a complete reboot, or your own original idea. With vampires, the sky is the limit. Anything can happen in those shows. But if you can make this reboot work then it could be good.
Overall, there are improvements to be had. Don't be afraid to rework those original ideas you have and possibly make it your own Supernatrual Drama. But if you can make it work as a reboot then go for it, but don't rely too heavily on the last reboots to fuel your own ideas. The whole idea of a reboot is to look at the show like a blank canvas, the sky is the limit. Don't be afraid to break out from the mold set by the past incarnations of the show.
Another thing. It's not really required for undeveloped pitches but having Graphics, Logos and Images, would not hurt. Just a suggestion. But I do hope you take this advice and I hope it helps you in the future.
- Characters. Who are they? What are there intentions? So far all we have is just their names and what their stories are but we don't know who they are. I would suggest character bios. You don't have to worry about casting right away. It's best to get to know who they are and what their intentions for the show will be. All you've done so far is just mention them in the Summary and episode descriptions. I would make a list for them and explain who they are. Give some background and what their traits are.
- Episodes. It seems like you do have it all planned out, minus a few episode titles and summaries. But while this is undeveloped, it's okay. My suggestion for you, and this would make it a lot easier. Structure episode numbers like "1x01: EPISODE TITLE". A lot of writers use this to sort their episodes by seasons and it just looks a bit neater in the pitch process.
- My one concern with this is, that it is an already established universe. Shows that have an established universe can be hard because at that point, you have limits to what you cannot do. Granted this show is an old concept and was rebooted by Tim Button. It still has an established universe. My suggestion would be a complete reboot, or your own original idea. With vampires, the sky is the limit. Anything can happen in those shows. But if you can make this reboot work then it could be good.
Overall, there are improvements to be had. Don't be afraid to rework those original ideas you have and possibly make it your own Supernatrual Drama. But if you can make it work as a reboot then go for it, but don't rely too heavily on the last reboots to fuel your own ideas. The whole idea of a reboot is to look at the show like a blank canvas, the sky is the limit. Don't be afraid to break out from the mold set by the past incarnations of the show.
Another thing. It's not really required for undeveloped pitches but having Graphics, Logos and Images, would not hurt. Just a suggestion. But I do hope you take this advice and I hope it helps you in the future.
. I've updated the pitch with character bios for the five major character. They're pretty basic but I'll expand them soon. My basic idea was to take familiar elements from the show and twist them and create new mythologies for them within the reboot such as with Angelique and the Phoenix storyline from the original 
yes Angelique does have French roots and I would appreciate help if I need it as I had to use google translate to find the French word for grandmother 