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Post by A. Blackwood on Feb 10, 2017 5:22:09 GMT -6
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Post by Yana on May 6, 2017 11:59:53 GMT -6
Can I post here? I don’t know… But I will!  I must say that I’m soooooo looking forward to this! The pilot you pitched was a great introduction to the characters. Right now Evie and Link are most likely to become my favorites, but I think as you give us more and more Miles and Asher will be there too. I can’t wait to read more! Good luck and have a great time writing it! |
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Post by A. Blackwood on May 31, 2017 1:23:27 GMT -6
Can I post here? I don’t know… But I will! I must say that I’m soooooo looking forward to this! The pilot you pitched was a great introduction to the characters. Right now Evie and Link are most likely to become my favorites, but I think as you give us more and more Miles and Asher will be there too. I can’t wait to read more! Good luck and have a great time writing it! Thank you so much for the kind words! I've had to mostly put things on hold because of work recently but I'm hoping to have the first half of the sequence ready to go soon! |
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Post by Yana on Jun 4, 2017 4:56:52 GMT -6
Can I post here? I don’t know… But I will! I must say that I’m soooooo looking forward to this! The pilot you pitched was a great introduction to the characters. Right now Evie and Link are most likely to become my favorites, but I think as you give us more and more Miles and Asher will be there too. I can’t wait to read more! Good luck and have a great time writing it! Thank you so much for the kind words! I've had to mostly put things on hold because of work recently but I'm hoping to have the first half of the sequence ready to go soon! Yeah, work/school can be the greatest adversary of anything related to creativity  And yay for the 'soon' part! |
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 2, 2017 15:14:02 GMT -6
I only have to say I want more. This is going ro be a fantastic series, i can feel it. A better review will be done later. Good first episode  |
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Post by Jack Malone on Jul 2, 2017 22:31:37 GMT -6
"Team Magic" Review
I'm already such a huge fan of this show - from the concept to the characters, and to the structure and the dynamics. I think this is such a perfect first episode of a series that introduces us to the world and its occupants in a really clever, well-thought-out way that comes together with an exciting finish that gets me immediately hooked and wanting to find out what happens next.
First up, I wanted to commend you on how you introduced all the main characters. I feel like you used setting as it's own tool to help establish who these characters were beyond their descriptions, their dialogue/interactions and their actions. Seeing Evie at her job at the Tattoo parlour helped create a fuller image of her, as did seeing Link in his environment, and seeing Asher in his relationship with Meredith. I already feel quite attached to them so that's a job well done all on its own, outside of the story.
Individually speaking, I definitely connected more with Link. You managed to show us a lot more sides of him in just a single scene — he's someone focused on studying and quite clearly cares about it enough to isolate himself from his friends, but he's also a gamer, and seems to have a solid group of friends that consider him to be good company. With Evie, she's got this spunk to her that I really like and it comes out a lot in her dialogue. I think my favourite moment of the episode was when she and Link arrive at the door, and they're trying to work out if they're here for the same thing. And Evie takes that leap. The whole "I assume this would be your next move" and the purple/blue remark was great. I'm excited to see if these two gravitate towards each other more and what their dynamic becomes as the sequence progresses. And with Asher, I think he's a little harder to read with clarity in the sense that I can make some assumptions but I'm not really sure. So he feels like a wild card, almost. Obviously he's keeping this whole thing from Meredith, so there could be drama there, but we didn't get much of a read on what he's doing with his life, and what his world is outside of his relationship and outside of this magic. So I'm excited to learn more about him.
As for the story, I really do like how you've shaped it. I think it was the right move to introduce the series with Miles, and the Guild of Sorcery, and seeing the council, and then to tie it back to him with Evie, Link and Asher at the end. The pilot could have easily fallen into a collection of scenes that purely set-up future story, but with Miles at the beginning, threaded through the middle, and resurfacing at the end, it brought a bigger story to life and stitched things together in a really nice way.
Speaking of Miles, I love that he's Scottish. It makes reading his lines in my head very entertaining. And I love his initial hesitancy about everything. He also feels quite mysterious because he got the "go ahead" to do things his way so I'm excited to see what kind of conflicts there might be with his approach vs the council's, and how much freedom he really has in bringing these sorcerer's together. I also loved that whole interaction that ended with him saying, "A question for the ages: 'Who are we?'" It felt profound, and felt like a question for the series to ultimately answer — who are they? Why are they necessary? What threat requires them to come together? And what is their purpose?
Overall, I'm a huge fan. I can't wait to see what happens. I've loved the pilot, even in it's initial form. I'm really impressed with your writing, and feel quite inspired from reading it (which is what I love about theVPN and all of us sharing work here). You seem to have a really great control of writing action - it's never too much but it's not too limited, and that's something I'm constantly trying to work on. And the imagery of it all is fantastic. I can picture this on screen, and that's really cool. So, again. Huge fan. Loved the pilot. And I can't wait to read more!
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 3, 2017 0:24:30 GMT -6
I only have to say I want more. This is going ro be a fantastic series, i can feel it. A better review will be done later. Good first episode Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words! I look forward to hearing what you thought in your review to come |
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 3, 2017 1:13:07 GMT -6
"Team Magic" ReviewI'm already such a huge fan of this show - from the concept to the characters, and to the structure and the dynamics. I think this is such a perfect first episode of a series that introduces us to the world and its occupants in a really clever, well-thought-out way that comes together with an exciting finish that gets me immediately hooked and wanting to find out what happens next. Thank you so much! This is really encouraging to hear how much you've enjoyed the first episode because I know they can be some of the hardest to pull off. I am glad you noticed this as it was my goal to be able to add something extra to the character introductions by showing each character in their 'natural habitat' so to speak. You can tell a lot about a person by where they work, who the surround themselves with, and how they interact with people they are close with, and the goal was to use that to help provide another layer of information about the main characters in their first appearance. I felt this was especially important because I was given a very short space of time to introduce four major characters in a very short space of time and the more they resonated with people in this first episode, the easier it was going to be to get readers invested in them. A little bit of repetition from me but I'm so happy that you had these really positive reactions to meeting the characters. It's always nice to see how people react to things and see what they pick up from your writing. As the brain behind the story I know exactly what's going to happen and all about the characters so It's always very interesting to see what things stand out to readers. I obviously knew that Evie's personality is quite easy to pick up on, 'spunk' is a very apt descriptor, but I was really glad that so much of Link's character stood out to you also. An yes, Link and Evie definitey click very early on, so hopefully you enjoy how their relationship develops over the sequence. We will definitely learn a bit more about Asher in episodes two and three of this sequence. I think because I had a fair bit of the sequence planned I went a little lighter on information about Asher in the first episode because I knew he would have a bit of a focus in those next couple of episodes. I'll be interested to see what sort of opinions you develop of him once you have a bit more information to work on. I really have you to thank for that addition of that introduction scene. I can't remember exactly what you said in that original review but when I read it that opening scene just popped into my head and I knew it was one hundred percent what the episode needed to finish it off. I can assure you here and now that Miles will definitely but heads with the council in future. I wouldn't say he has an issue with authority figures, but he for sure has an issue with who he believes are incompetent authority figures. Miles kinda comes across as being a little un-hinged or crazy but he is very competent, which was why the council was willing to let him do things his own way as opposed to forcing him to do things their way. Just what 'his way' entails won't be revealed until the second half of this sequence though. It's such high praise to hear someone say that my writing inspired them! That practically makes me giddy with happiness to have you say that. Thank you so much for the support and the very encouraging reviews, both on the original pitch and here now that it's officially airing. I really hope the show can live up to expectations and that you enjoy reading future episodes |
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Post by Alex Matthews on Jul 4, 2017 5:17:58 GMT -6
I came to this series late - I missed out on reading the original pilot in the pitch, so I've come into this with practially no clue beyond it's a magical-based show, which is always something I'll take an interest in I wholeheartedly agree with everything Jack said above, and with Karl's succinct approval as well. I won't simply reiterate what Jack has said, because he sums up everything so well. Have you come any further with your casting? For me, I was totally getting a David Tennant vibe for Miles, especially him being Scottish and in a tan trenchcoat! |
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 6, 2017 4:08:18 GMT -6
I came to this series late - I missed out on reading the original pilot in the pitch, so I've come into this with practially no clue beyond it's a magical-based show, which is always something I'll take an interest in I wholeheartedly agree with everything Jack said above, and with Karl's succinct approval as well. I won't simply reiterate what Jack has said, because he sums up everything so well. Have you come any further with your casting? For me, I was totally getting a David Tennant vibe for Miles, especially him being Scottish and in a tan trenchcoat! I'm so glad you enjoyed it even if you didn't know too much going in! Hopefully you'll enjoy future episodes too As for casting, I really didn't give it too much thought after I was told it wasn't compulsory. That said, David Tennant does seem to suit the role of Miles scarily well, haha! I'll be keeping him in mind if I ever do decide to try getting a full fantasy cast together. |
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Post by guyrjames on Jul 6, 2017 20:36:48 GMT -6
Read the first episode and I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said. The writing was well done. Each character seems to be uniquely different and you have a character named Lincoln (my recently picked up show, Avery Strange, does as well), so I'll definitely be tuning in for future episodes. I'm excited to see where these characters go and the affects it has on their individual lives as well as how they get along as a group. Job well done.
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 16, 2017 3:43:38 GMT -6
Read the first episode and I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said. The writing was well done. Each character seems to be uniquely different and you have a character named Lincoln (my recently picked up show, Avery Strange, does as well), so I'll definitely be tuning in for future episodes. I'm excited to see where these characters go and the affects it has on their individual lives as well as how they get along as a group. Job well done. Thank you so much for your comments! Glad to hear you'll be checking out the future episodes too. |
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Post by Alex Matthews on Jul 16, 2017 16:12:32 GMT -6
Just read the last two episodes in one go - loving the development/exploration of their magical skills, and the whole idea that Asher is a bit too logical to come to grips with the innate emotional/instinticive nature of it at first, while Evie is making progress in leaps and bounds, and Link is a kind of middle ground. It would have been nice to see Asher actually produce the flame that first time - and that leads me to add that it will be nice to see them use magic outside of training at some point. But with the webisode short format, I can understand it perhaps being unnecessary. While mentioning Asher, I love the Asher/Meredith dynamic explored in the last two episodes, and his inability to tell her what's really going on, but at least being mostly honest, even if she doesn't realize he means 'sorcery' not 'parlour tricks' when he says "magic"... |
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 23, 2017 1:15:58 GMT -6
Just read the last two episodes in one go - loving the development/exploration of their magical skills, and the whole idea that Asher is a bit too logical to come to grips with the innate emotional/instinticive nature of it at first, while Evie is making progress in leaps and bounds, and Link is a kind of middle ground. It would have been nice to see Asher actually produce the flame that first time - and that leads me to add that it will be nice to see them use magic outside of training at some point. But with the webisode short format, I can understand it perhaps being unnecessary. While mentioning Asher, I love the Asher/Meredith dynamic explored in the last two episodes, and his inability to tell her what's really going on, but at least being mostly honest, even if she doesn't realize he means 'sorcery' not 'parlour tricks' when he says "magic"... Thank you for taking the time to read! I'm glad you're liking the development of their magical abilities. Originally I was finding it really hard to get a balance between showing that these characters have to work on their magic skills and not bogging the series down with a whole lot of nothing while they get to the point in their training where they could theoretically hold their own when going up against another magic user. I feel the webisode format has helped with that, it really forced me to stop and ask myself what were the most important scenes, what did readers need to see in order to understand everything while sticking to a 10-15 page script? Unfortunately this does mean some things- like Asher being able to produce a flame for the first time- get cut out in favour of scenes that have more emotional/plot weight to them. For example, the first time Asher was able to produce a magical flame would have been on his own and the flame itself would have only lasted a few seconds before he got too excited and lost concentration. While that would have been a great scene to include, I felt the scene where he finally shows Miles what he has accomplished has more weight both for character development and plot as he is receiving the approval from Miles and it ties back in to the original conversation Miles and Asher had at the beginning of that episode. As for Asher and Meredith, I really enjoy writing their interactions because they're a really supportive couple and isn't it nice to just see a relationship that's working out instead of falling apart? Haha! In all honesty they'll have their ups and downs because keeping magic a secret is actually something that's weighing on Asher (something mentioned in the new episode) but they're a couple of good eggs and you can be sure their relationship and what Asher's new magical life is going to mean for them will continue to be explored. Once again thanks for taking the time to read and leave your thoughts, it's very much appreciated. |
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Post by Jack Malone on Jul 24, 2017 20:28:09 GMT -6
A STUDY IN HAPHAZARD MAGIC | "Run It Again" Review
This was a really fun episode. I wasn't sure where exactly things would pick up after the pilot, and so I like that we're immediately thrown into the thick of things with Evie, Asher and Link training together. Obviously, Evie is such a cool character and she stood out the most to me. I really like her attitude, especially when it comes to crushing expectations. It was a nice little subplot of Miles saying "it's too early for you to do that" and then Evie proving him wrong and doing it. I just think that says a lot about her, and with the other boys rallying around her and pushing her to the forefront — to confront Miles and ask him what the purpose of it all is — I definitely felt like Evie is being positioned as the leader in this trio, which I love.
Speaking of that subplot, I like that Miles offered somewhat of a "stick around, and find out later" answer to the question. I think with you building your own mythology, and creating your own world, it can be very easy to just do a complete information-dump and use these first few episodes to establish everything, and so I'm happy to see that you're taking your time. I think the answer he gave logically works for Miles, and the characters, and is bound to create some conflict in the future, but it also logically works for the show — we get to discover things as the trio does, and obviously we might get a little more information through them given the show focuses on Miles outside of them. So it maintains a level of suspense that I think is needed, in general, but especially for shows that build their own mythology.
And I think the biggest take-away from this episode came from the focus on Asher. I remember saying that I didn't connect with him straight away in the pilot because there wasn't that much focus on him, and so shifting the spotlight on him for a while in this episode was very much appreciated. I think we've learned a lot about him through his relationship with Meredith — which, I have to say, I absolutely love their dynamic. Part of me thinks the "I'm doing magic [tricks]" excuse paints Meredith in a not so great light, but then when you look at it from another angle, you see a trust between them that paints both characters and their relationship in a really positive light, so it kind of cancelled out my initial "she can't be that gullible" reaction. And it was just an interesting twist. He was mostly honest. I thought he was literally going to confess about what they were doing, and Meredith took it in a different way that still kind of worked. I like that because it goes to show that Asher isn't a liar, and their relationship from here on out doesn't feel like it's being built on a weak foundation that kind of dooms one of your main characters from the beginning. If she were to ever know that it was legitimate magic, then Asher has that defense of "I was trying to tell you that" that wouldn't work if he just completely made something up. So again, I really liked what this did for his character.
Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. It's nice to see their powers, and to see their dynamic as a trio, and as students under Miles' mentorship. Considering how they have to nurture and develop what they can do, it'll be exciting to see how powerful they get, and what they have to use those powers for in the future (as I'm sure whatever threat is on its way won't be a horde of potatoes).
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jul 31, 2017 3:53:34 GMT -6
A STUDY IN HAPHAZARD MAGIC | "Run It Again" Review I must admit I was incredibly nervous to see your review for the second episode because you had such positive things to say about the first episode I was worried the second would be a disappointment somehow. I'm glad to see that fear was unfounded, haha!
Writing a webisode series has been a real challenge for me in terms of telling a contained and somewhat fast paced story each episode, and finding that leaping off point for a new episode has been hard so I'm glad it worked for you. As for Evie, she's definitely the easiest character to write because her personality is so out there and in your face, unlike Asher and Link who are a bit more subdued. Positioning Evie as a 'leader' is definitely something that has happened naturally in the evolution of the story, but if ever asked to act as an out right leader she would turn it down. Evie is very aware of herself and she knows that while her brash personality is good for getting things done, she doesn't think that only would make her a good leader. For now though she's definitely leading the charge in terms of delving into this new magical world and the boys are happy to follow.
I'm really glad you felt that Miles holding off on giving them information worked for the story/world building and the suspense. When writing it I was worried it would come off as a really forced thing, and it isn't, Miles honestly has his reasons for holding off giving them them the information then, but I knew it was running the risk of being odd. So yes, very glad this worked for you. I really enjoy incorporating a slow world build into things I write too, throwing people into the middle of things and then giving them new pieces of information as they need them rather than all at once is I what I always enjoyed as a reader so I try to emulate that in writing too.
One of the main reasons I wasn't too worried about the lack of Asher in episode one was because I knew there would be a focus on him in this episode and episode three. I'm glad you feel like you learnt a lot about him through his relationship with Meredith, because she is a huge part of his life and he's definitely his most comfortable around her. We'll also be seeing more of Meredith, I can guarantee, so if you're a fan of her you have that to look forward to.
Oh, for us certainly it's easy to think Meredith is silly for jumping to the wrong conclusion but let's be honest, we're primed to know that 'magic' means something special here. If we were in Meredith's shoes, as far as we would be concerned the only type of 'magic' is magic tricks. You're also right in that I didn't want Asher to outright lie to her, because he isn't the kind of guy who would want to lie to his partner about something like this for long, if at all. This way he told the truth, even if Meredith misinterpreted it, so he has a little bit of time before he starts feeling guilty about things- something touched on in the next episode.
Don't be surprised if Miles pulls out the potatoes again, haha, but yes, there is definitely a lot of growing they still have to do in terms of their magical powers. Loved hearing you're thoughts Jack, they're always very insightful and encouraging!
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Post by Jack Malone on Aug 29, 2017 15:40:48 GMT -6
A STUDY IN HAPHAZARD MAGIC | "Everyone's On Strings" Review
Right off the bat, I just want to say that I really enjoyed the focus on Asher in this episode, and I never would have thought — just going off the pilot — that he would be the character that's most established and evolved from just three episodes in. I kind of accepted his relationship with Meredith as establishing his world, but this episode added more layers to him that I found really compelling and interesting and did a lot of great service to him that I definitely felt was needed, so props for being able to do that through the story and have it feel like an organic progress rather than a quick-fix or anything.
So, on the topic of Asher, his arc in this episode was definitely the highlight. I like that he's somewhat isolated from Link and Evie, and that Miles is taking a different approach with him to help him catch up. The way you incorporated more of his back story was very impressive. Instead of just telling us from the get-go that he's studying this, or his career is this, you found an opportunity in the story to bring that kind of information up and I thought it was a really great way to establish him and distinguish him from the rest of characters. It also helped demonstrate how great a teacher Miles is, and so all of their interactions were really great character-moments for me. And I really loved that moment at the end when Asher finally worked around how his brain works to pull off a "magic trick" and had a little smug, proud moment before Miles quips about it not being as impressive as he would think. It's a dynamic I hope to see more of, and I hope we get to see how different Miles' dynamic is with the other two students should the story lean on a situation involving Miles/Link or Miles/Evie.
And then, of course, outside of Asher's world of magic, we got another really great Asher/Meredith scene. I don't know why I just assumed that the "magic" part of it would be an explanation that puts it to rest and that it wouldn't really be brought up again between them, but I'm glad my assumption wasn't the case. I loved seeing Asher talk about what's going on and Meredith providing that "pros/cons" technique for him. It just continues to paint them in a positive light, and I think it's just such a unique take on a relationship in a sci-fi/fantasy kind of genre where someone is keeping part of their life a secret, because he still gets to speak the truth, and doesn't really have to be vague or annoying about it. They can still function as a healthy, normal relationship, and you definitely showcase that with this scene. And I can't stress enough how your approach to this relationship has side-stepped a frustrating trope that could have made this relationship unbearable to follow for more than a few episodes. So don't mind me praising the greatness of it in every review, haha!
There was also a nice Link/Evie moment in this episode. It offered a few interesting things in an otherwise Asher-centric episode. With Link, we learned that he's studying photography, and that while he may be more advanced than Asher at magic, he's still ranking second out of the three. And with Evie, she's just an awesome character. I love that she's teaching herself things, and is the more advanced when it comes to magic. I'm definitely most excited to see her come into any sort of supernatural conflict because I feel like it's going to be epic.
Speaking of which, the episode ended with Miles finally throwing them a bone. At first, I was a little bummed out at the information dump because things felt so much more balanced in the previous two episodes, but he didn't really divulge all that much information. They were still asking questions when the episode came to an end, so I don't really have a problem with it. It set up the next episode perfectly, and admittedly, it does feel like the right time to smack them with that truth-bomb — Link, Evie and Asher have all kind of embraced the premise of their situation, and so it's time to up the stakes and move things forward. Hearing "field work" has me ridiculously excited for the next episode. I'm itching to see these guys kick some ass, and to see what kind of conflict they have to face in these next few episodes.
So, overall, another really great episode. This episode definitely showed that it can manage character-centric episodes and still move the overall plot forward. It did a lot for Asher, and built him up really well. It also offered some nice dynamics with Asher/Miles, and Evie/Link. And it set up what I'm sure is going to be another really awesome episode. So, obviously I'm loving this show. It takes me way too long to sit down, read and review, but I promise I'm getting there, haha!
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Post by A. Blackwood on Jan 1, 2018 2:57:29 GMT -6
A STUDY IN HAPHAZARD MAGIC | "Everyone's On Strings" Review Right off the bat, I just want to say that I really enjoyed the focus on Asher in this episode, and I never would have thought — just going off the pilot — that he would be the character that's most established and evolved from just three episodes in. I kind of accepted his relationship with Meredith as establishing his world, but this episode added more layers to him that I found really compelling and interesting and did a lot of great service to him that I definitely felt was needed, so props for being able to do that through the story and have it feel like an organic progress rather than a quick-fix or anything. I think I knew going in there was no way I was going to be able to focus on three main characters in one or two opening episodes so I’ve planned for Asher, Evie, and Link to all have their moments during sequence 1. Knowing that I was going to have this focus on Asher so early meant I was able to stick to the bare minimum when introducing him because we were going to get a lot of info about him in the following episodes. It’s the approach I’m trying to take for the whole series. Rather than dumping information or forcing it to the forefront in ways that seem unnatural I wanted it to be more a slow build, so you get a few bits and pieces every episode and gradually build the picture of who the characters are, how magic works, etc. Like I mentioned above, I always knew what Asher was studying and that his thought process was going to impact on his ability with magic initially, but to fit all that into episode one was going to be really awkward. I’m glad you feel that the information is cropping up in an organic way too, because that’s always been the intention but you never know how well you pulled it off until people start reading and reviewing, haha! Miles is a much better teacher than he thinks he is and it does show through when he’s one on one with Asher, Evie or Link. As you’ll see in future episodes he also tends to adjust the way he interacts with each of them to make them feel comfortable while still maintaining his signature sarcasm. To be totally honest I can’t stand constant romance drama which is why I wanted Asher and Meredith to have a nice stable relationship from the get go. That’s not to say they won’t have their fair share of things that they’ll have to work through but it’s more than likely going to be them working as a team instead of them causing angst for each other. I’m glad you enjoy their dynamic though, and feel free to keep praising it, that is a-okay with me! Haha! This first sequence, especially the first 6 episodes, is a lot of building and establishing dynamics, and you’ll find that it tends to swap around with each episode. Because this episode was going to focus on Asher/Miles, and to some extent Asher/Meredith, it was easy to then slip in some Evie/Link interaction because they didn’t have a big role in the episode plot. It’s a lot of fun slowly fleshing out all the characters though, and I only hope they you continue to enjoy learning about the cast of characters as the sequence progresses. It has been such a fine line to walk with what to reveal and how to reveal it. Obviously there are certain things that need to come in chunks or it’s not going to make sense but it’s making the explanation/reveal of those not boring or overwhelming that I’m always worried about. I’m glad it worked decently well in this episode according to you- that gives me some really good guidance of how to approach situations where I have to get across a lot of information in future episodes. Hopefully the next episode lives up to expectations! You always have such awesome reviews for me but every time I see a new one I keep worrying that it will finally be the episode that lets you down. Your feedback is always appreciated and just hope that you continue to enjoy the series. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to review! As mentioned it really helps me to see what’s working really well, what I may need to do a little bit of work on and so on. I know my response was a little late but better late than never! Just know that I really appreciate your comments |
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And yay for the 'soon' part! 
