Post by guyrjames on Sept 17, 2016 20:28:24 GMT -6
Appreciate you guys taking a look. Currently wrapping up Act Three, so right on schedule. Karl, I definitely empathize with your feeling about high school in teen dramas, but that is definitely on my mind as I write and map out the stories for each season. To answer your question, Season One has the kids finishing up their sophomore year of high school, which sets them to graduate Season Three (of a planned Six Seasons), so we will definitely see them moving on and growing up.
Hey guys. This is a project that has been close to my heart for years and I really want to get it off the ground. Pitching tonight to force myself to set a deadline for the pilot completion AND to get some feedback from you guys.
A few months after his brother committed suicide, sixteen-year-old Avery Strong is returning home to Aurora Bay, California. Descending from a long line of paranormal investigators, Avery shunned his family’s heritage because he didn’t believe. Now, when faced with the realization that the supernatural world exists, Avery must choose between the life he had before: popular, athletic, naïve teenage boy OR his new life as an investigator of the strange and peculiar events happening in Aurora Bay. The only problem is…Avery wants both.
Max Lloyd-Jones as Avery Strong Avery is our show’s hero. Coming home to Aurora Bay after the suicide of his twin brother, Evan, Avery takes over his brother’s investigation into the things that go bump in the night. Your average teenage boy, Avery is smart, stubborn, and determined to find out what was behind the death of his brother. Add to that a strained relationship with his parents and his obligations to his school, Avery has a lot going against him, but he will not let anything stand in his way.
Jacob Artist as Benjamin “Fish” Fisher Fish is the Peter Parker to Avery’s Spiderman and he wouldn’t have it any other way. As the son of Aurora Bay High’s principal, he gets a certain amount of “get out of jail free” cards when it comes to getting in trouble. When he’s not mouthing off, he’s usually trying to get the scoop on the happenings in Aurora Bay. Writer for the Aurora Bay High's Weekly Wren, Fish can’t say that the revelation that the supernatural world existing doesn’t peek his journalistic curiosity and his loyalty to Avery may put him right in the line of fire.
Victoria Justice as Jude Monroe Jude is the new girl in Aurora Bay. Because of her father’s new job as the Sheriff of Sunset County, she had to leave her friends…her support system behind. Jude wants nothing more than to escape this town and her mother’s pressure to do more with her life. But now that some family secrets have come out, she may need her mother more than ever and she might realize that this town might be exactly where she needs to be.
Malese Jow as Nina Cheng Beautiful and dangerous: two words that fit Nina like a glove. Pushing boundaries is something that Nina knows very well. As the first female member of the boys soccer and baseball teams at Aurora Bay High School, Nina wants to be as normal as she can and to experience as much as she can before familial duties take it all away. Her own connections with the supernatural put her on Avery’s radar and if he plays his cards right, she could be a great ally, but if he plays them wrong, she could be an even greater foe.
Matthew Daddario as Lincoln Wells Lincoln knows all about self-reliance. After his mother suffered a severe mental breakdown, Lincoln has been tasked with the responsibility to keep his mother’s business afloat. Questions about his father led him to Evan and now, with Evan dead, Lincoln is forced to discover the truth on his own, or worse, ask Avery for help.
Halston Sage as Sloane Gallagher If you looked up “Queen Bee” in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of Sloane Gallagher and her beautiful, yet maniacal smile printed next to it. Sloane has made it her mission to run the halls of Aurora Bay High with an iron fist. Her short-lived relationship with Avery put her on the map, but she is determined to keep her status by any means necessary. Like most teenagers, she is fueled by insecurities and a desire to be relevant. This desire might just put her in harms way.
SEASON 1 1|01 Pilot It’s not easy being strange. Just ask the strangest of them all. Avery Strong: sophomore and part-time paranormal investigator. When Avery is faced with the fact that the supernatural world exists, he is dragged into a fight he isn’t prepared for. Still recovering from the suicide of his twin brother, Evan, Avery and his best friend, Fish, pick up where Evan left off and begin their mission to find out just how strange Aurora Bay really is. 1|02 Bad Moon Rising Avery confronts Lincoln on his break in at Strange Investigations, but his interrogation is cut short when Fish, while attempting to protect Nina, is scratched by a skin-walker. Initially thinking everything is fine, Avery and Fish learn that even a skin-walker’s scratch comes with its own set of problems. 1|03 The Legend of Guillotine McGee A family tradition brings Avery’s Uncle Nate to town. Despite a strained relationship with Carter, he and Nate attempt to take down the ghost that’s been haunting the town for over a century. When Avery, Fish and other students land in Saturday detention with a piece of the Guillotine McGee exhibit inside, chaos ensues. 1|04 In the Dark Avery and Jude’s first official date is interrupted when Lincoln’s self-medication brings to light secrets thought long dead that pulls Avery directly into the line of fire. Fish discovers his mother is ready to start dating. 1|05 In His Eyes 1|06 We All Fall Down 1|07 Call of the Wildcat 1|08 Transference 1|09 When You Wish Upon A Jinn 1|10 It Was a Dark and Stormy Night
Notes This will be an hour-long supernatural drama. The first season will consist of 10 episodes. There will be an main arc that will propel the story forward, but little mini-arcs for the the characters throughout the season.The pilot has been completed through Act Two and should be up for viewing by Monday. Any feedback will be much appreciated.
Just wanted to stop by and say that I read the pilot. I do agree with much of what has already been said. It's a great idea and concept. The mystery and everything feels like it has longevity and I want to read more of it, but I do feel that the pilot could do with some tightening up. Will try and give some more detailed feedback this weekend.
Added episode descriptions for the first 5 episodes, though I have the entire Sequence One planned out, but don't want to spoil the direction too much. Thanks to all who've read so far. I'm planning on getting the rest of the pilot done over the next couple days (if work permits). I appreciate all the feedback. In regards to the children being a little "mary sue", it was somewhat intentional as I hope the writing and their past and lives told through the episodes will deviate from any "mary sue"-ishness.
First 8 pages of pilot episode is posted. Thanks for the feedback so far. Was able to get through most of the pilot tonight. Have a busy week and weekend of work, so I wanted to get what I had out to give you an idea of the characters, and tone, etc. Feedback is always appreciated.
The Sunday dinner table was where you really learned about your family – their history, their hopes and worries, stories, jokes and personalities. The meal was pretty special, too – something that had been cooking all morning, food that was delicious, comforting and made with love.
For the Rose family, Sunday dinners have always been a staple and tradition that family matriarch, Gail Rose, has insisted on continuing even though her three children are all grown up with lives of their own and her 37-year marriage is in shambles.
Sunday Dinners is a dramedy webisode series that follows the private lives of the Rose family. Each webisode occurs on one of the family’s Sunday dinners and sheds a light on what it truly means to be a family and the drama and laughs that must be endured to keep them all together. At the helm are Felix Rose, a British American businessman, and family matriarch, Gail Rose, a homemaker and devoted mother of three: Piper, an attorney and newlywed, Ash, who works for his father, and Birdie, a career college student. With a deep-seeded family secret coming out of the woodwork by the name of Clay Archer, Felix’s illegitimate son, Sunday dinners are about to get more interesting.
Born August 26, 1960, Gail Rose (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a career homemaker. Dropping out of college at the age of 21, Gail focused all of her attention on raising her children and doting on the love of her life, Felix Rose. Warm, nurturing and meddlesome, Gail makes up for her lack of a social life by immersing herself in her children’s lives.
Born March 25, 1959, Felix Rose (Hugh Laurie) grew up in London, England. A knack for business and a sharp personality, Felix longed for the American dream. Meeting Gail while attending The Stern School in New York City, he quickly fell head over heals. Their relationship moved quickly and they were married just six months after dating and expecting their first child six months later. After moving his family to Los Angeles, CA Felix has made a decent living for himself in advertising. Stern, but fair and a hidden sense of humor, Felix loves his family and is truly afraid that his past indiscretions will tear his family apart.
Born December 4, 1982, Piper (Eliza Dushku) is the eldest of the Rose children. Stubborn, methodical and a born leader is how she was top of her class at Yale Law School. Out of love for her family, she took a job at the leading law firm in L.A. to be close to home. Recently married, Piper couldn’t be happier, but with her and her new husband’s long hours, she worries the honeymoon stage is quickly fading.
Born June 17, 1985, Ash (Dave Franco) is your typical middle child. A born pleaser, Ash has made it his life’s work to get noticed. When your older sister is “super-attorney” and your baby sister is “super-free spirited” it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. Majoring in business, Ash was quick to take a job at his father’s ad agency in hopes that he can make a name for himself. With his new half-brother coming out of the woodwork, Ash worries his status as the “Golden Boy” will be short-lived.
Born February 14, 1991, Birdie (Shelley Hennig) definitely lives up to her birthday. She loves life and lives every moment of it. Reckless and passionate, Birdie has made a career out of going to college. Never settling on a major and constantly in trouble whether it’s partying too much or almost flunking out of school, Birdie makes it a point to live up to her “black sheep” namesake. Birdie truly has a heart of gold, but can’t seem to get her life together.
Born May 27, 1986, Clay (Garrett Hedlund) grew up with a single mother in New York City. Growing up, Clay looked forward to two days: Christmas and his birthday when Uncle Felix would come to visit. With a lack of a male figure in his life, he was starved for attention. The visits stopped after he turned 13 and Clay learned to rely on himself. An aspiring musician, Clay forwent college and decided to dedicate his life to making it big. When his mother became ill, he put his dreams on hold to support her and on her deathbed, it was revealed that Uncle Felix, was in fact his father. Thinking he could see what the deadbeat dad that abandoned him had to offer, Clay made his way to L.A. New playground meant he could restart his dream of making it in the music industry and also meet the family that was more important than him.
Born July 11, 1981, Teddy Hayes (Jesse Williams) was born to a wealthy family. The son of a State Senator and a judge, Teddy’s expectations were set extremely high. Compassionate, thoughtful and selfless, medical school seemed to be the logical choice and Teddy became a pediatric surgeon. Meeting Piper during his ER rotation, they dated for 3 years before Teddy got the nerve to ask her to marry him. Now that they are married, he feels that his life is content, but with dark secrets from the Rose’s past coming to light, Teddy worries that he might be dragged in the crossfire.
EPISODE GUIDE Sequence One:
1x01: October 30, 2016 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner – It’s Sunday dinner at the Rose household as usual. Except for the fact that Felix’s illegitimate son is coming and no one understands why Gail invited him. Sit down and pour a drink. You’re gonna need it. 1x01 1x02: November 6, 2016 Attempted Murder or Honest Mistake – That is the question on everyone’s mind as Felix returns home from a near-fatal allergic reaction to Gail’s cooking. Gail and Felix continue to deal with his infidelity. Birdie’s fling-of-the-week gets roped into dinner and Clay and Teddy’s connection is revealed. 1x03: November 13, 2016 Every Rose Has Its Thorn – While Clay and Gail seem to be getting closer and closer, Clay’s frustration with how Felix is treating him comes to a head. Teddy worries that his past will ruin his future with Piper. Gail meddles in Ash’s personal life when she tries to play matchmaker. 1x04: November 20, 2016 Devil in a Blue Dress – And her name is Victoria Archer (guest star Michelle Pfeiffer), Clay’s Aunt and his mother’s twin sister. After inviting herself to dinner, Victoria’s wicked ways plague the Rose family. Gail makes a decision regarding her marriage to Felix. 1x05: November 27, 2016 Keep Calm and Eat Turkey – Thanksgiving three days late…just another one of the Rose’s odd family traditions. Holiday season brings out the worst in people. Gail and Clay start early to prepare the feast. Jealous, each of the siblings tries to rain on their parade with disastrous results. 1x06: December 4, 2016 1x07: December 11, 2016 1x08: December 18, 2016 1x09: December 25, 2016 1x10: January 1, 2017
Author's Note This is an idea I have had for a while. I've always wanted to try out a webisode series and I'm a huge fan of familial dramedies. Pilot is definitely in the works, but wanted to get some feedback/comments on the pitch. If it isn't clear, each episode tells the story of a different Sunday dinner with recurring storylines throughout the sequence.
I read the pilot. It was very well written. There are so many VS series being pitched with nephilim...including my Avery Strange show at MZP. Not a criticism...just an interesting observation. I love how your story is rooted with actually biblical knowledge and has a dark tone without being depressing. The story flowed nicely...although this didn't feel like it had a resolution, which is fine, but the story felt like it just ends. The characters were all very fun and all had an integral part which is hard to do in a show with so many characters. One thing that I liked was that Lucifer (whom I think Christina Ricci is a fabulous choice) wasn't this "Big Bad". I'm not saying that she won't be a contender as the series progresses, but it was a refreshing take on the mythos and definitely goes against what I was expecting even from the pitch. Overall, I'm intrigued. Its different. Its fun and I'm excited to see where it goes. Well done.
Thanks for everyone who read the pilot. The helpful criticisms and word of encouragement really helped me. This project is still very much alive, though based on some feedback is getting retooled. Updated the OP with a new banner, which I'm pretty proud of, and hoping to have the new pitch and pilot up in the next few weeks. Thanks again.