MOTM - October 2012

[Ms. Kerry]

You two are making me feel inadequate! XD seriously these two entries are awesome and Matt Bomer... *fans self* I'd watch that show just for him even if it wasnt an interesting idea.

[Jamison]

Awesome pitch, Brady!! I see you guys are gonna make my job extremely hard! XD Awesome!

And Steve, it's definitely not too late. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone!! Appreciate the comments. This pitch is definitely on the back burner, but not dead in my mind. I would probably keep the main elements but it would definitely need a plot overhaul Lol.

Brady, dude, that pitch is AWESOME!! I love the casting, and the story is really interesting!! Nicely done.

Can't wait to see everyone else's pitches! And Steve the contest runs for the entirety of October, so there is plenty of time to get an entry in!! XD

[Connor J. J]

Oh my god, both these pitches are so awesome! This competition is gonna be so hard!

[Brady Brown]

Wow! Thanks, guys! I had tons of fun making this, and, like Darrin, who knows, it may see the light one of these days. You know, when I'm not pitching a million things. XD

[stevieg]

So far 2 great entries and both could work well as a series if taken forward.

I've got a name for mine, and I've worked out a rough idea for what it's about and a couple of characters. Now just need to clean it up and make sure if looks alright overall.

I didn't realise how hard it would be to create what I picked 'Supernatural Drama / Soap Opera'. I think I got the Supernatural element of the show, now just trying to make it more like a soap Opera which is extremely tough.

[stevieg]

"Every soul has a story, just alike every town has a history enriched with it's past of secrets and lies locked away. But what happens when you bring the two together....?"

Eloise Andrews is a young, pretty flame-haired woman who is running from her past. Leaving the windy city of Chicago behind and heading down Route 66 to start her life over in the sunshine state of California. Unfortunately, her path is cut short when she finds herself involved in an accident and awakening in the hospital of a town calling itself 'Penance'. The only issue being... Penance is not on any map that she can find. It's a town unlike any other, hidden away from the rest of the world with it's own secrets that surround it.

All Eloise wants to do is leave but finds herself struggling to escape, and intrigued as well as strangely drawn to the mystery that surrounds the town, and the residents within it. The families all act unusual, and the Mayor himself seems intent on forcing her to stay within the city for his own personal reasons. All of them seem to be hiding secrets behind closed doors, of which may hold the truth about the town of Penance and what it is the gateway to.

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STARRING:


Eloise Andrews
Eloise is a strong willed young woman, who is intelligent and brave unlike many others her age. Nothing scares her, and there is good reason why as she finds herself running from her past, which one day may catch up with her but until then.... she remains lost in a town where the strangest things keep happening around her, as she tries to unravel the mystery of the town of Penance.


Mayor Leon Hargreaves
The Mayor runs the town and seems intent on keeping Eloise around the town for as long as he can, against other's wishes. He shows a care for the residents and tries to guide them into making the right decisions to protect the town's secrets from any outsiders passing through. He also seems to live in fear for his own life, against someone... or something.


The Devlins (Jacob, Genevieve, Florence)
The Devlins are a family who has resided in Penance since it was first established many years ago. The father, Jacob is a rich businessman who helped fund the town and it's creation, and has his fingers in many of the establishments within the town. His wife, Genevieve is a dangerous woman. She lies behind her husband's back, and is as manipulative as she is beautiful. Although a wife, she is not much of a mother and offers little time to her only daughter. Florence is a young rebellious woman, who enjoys the nightlife and partying into the morning hours, against her parents wishes of course. The family overall hide a deeper, darker secret that is tearing the family apart.


Dr. Benjamin Thomas
Benjamin Thomas is a local Doctor who treats Eloise, and begins to find himself drawn towards her innocence. He hides a secret himself which if unleashed could bring harm to those not only around him, but those he gets close to. His affections begin to grow, not only to protect Eloise but slowly falling in love with her.


The Sisters Three - Ruby, Saphire & Pearle Granger
The three sisters who are virtually identical, are a strange and dangerous group. Their antics cause disruption in the town, and seem to enjoy playing mind games with the other families around them leading to confrontations with the local law. Apart, they seem harmless but put them together and they could bring harm upon anyone they desire.


Violet
Violet is a young teenage girl, who appears to Eloise and warns her of the dangers of the town. She is a strange and disturbed girl who seeks something from Eloise she could never find elsewhere.

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EPISODE GUIDE:

1x01: Welcome to Penance
Eloise Andrews finds herself on Route 66, heading from her old life of Chicago, and a past she wants to run away from to start afresh in California - the land of the sunshine state.... unfortunately, it doesn't go to plan as she awakens after an accident to find herself in the hospital of a small town calling itself 'Penance'. A town masquerading itself as something that it isn't, and not featured on any map. As Violet finds heself trapped in the town, she begins to uncover the strange characters all around her - unaware of the secrets that lay behind locked doors.

1x02: Never-Ending Turns
Eloise finds herself trying to escape the town, but seemingly always ending up back where she left upon every turn she takes. Learning she cannot escape, she finds refuge with another newcomer to the town - just as the local Sheriff is found slaughtered to death, and the evidence pointing directly to Eloise.

1x03: Trial & Retribution
As Eloise finds herself the prime suspect in the Sheriff's murder, she uncovers a plot by someone to frame her and seeks out help from Benjamin to prove her innocence before the town cast final judgement upon her which could result in something worse than death itself.

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OPENING THEME:

The Doors - People Are Strange


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NOTES:
I never realised how hard it would be to try and come up with something for the category I chose, which was 'Supernatural Drama / Soap Opera'. Saw the series as something like, each season consisting of 10-12 episodes of about 30-45mins in each.

I originally had the name 'Route 666' as a show title, but eventualy went with Penance as it seems more like a 'Soap Opera' type show name for it's title.

The show is a continuing mystery, as Eloise tries to uncover the truth behind the town, the people and the strange things that keep happening around her. Secrets and lies, deception, manipulation and a deeper, darker secret lays behind the closed doors of all those involved. It's a town unlike any other, and a young woman who finds herself trapped between two different worlds and hiding a secret of her own she is running away from.

Season One would consist of Eloise slowly uncovering the secrets of the town, and unravelling the mystery of it's residents - as well as her own secret revealed.

Season Two would consist of Eloise struggling to come to terms with the revelations of where she finds herself, and unsure of what the future holds for her and who she can trust.

[Connor J. J]

This pitch sounds really amazing and you've captured both elements clearly and well! You should seriously consider developing this as a vs, i would definitely read it!

[Deleted]

OMG! Steve, I love this! And I agree with Connor, you should definitely consider writing this! It sort of reminds me a little of the soap opera Passions, but darker. And the best part about soap operas is that there is no seasons, it just keeps going and going and going until it's cancelled Lmao! Do it! Lol. Great job!!! XD

[Jamison]

This MotM is going to be so difficult to judge!! All this creativity is driving me bonkers!! XD Great pitch Steve!

[stevieg]

Thanks Connor, Darrin and Chris for your comments on my pitch

I've only ever heard of Passions in passing, but looked it up and sounds interesting. I think I was influenced a little from Dark Shadows film I saw recently and enjoyed, although never saw original series as never got over here in UK.

I may see about giving this a go sometime, as can see lots of mystery, secrets and various supernatural elements to the series. Think would need a few more characters developed also to give it a wider casting and feel of a larger town.

Some good pitches here already and gonna be tough to choose one but I think all seem to have that element of something could be made into a show out of each of them. Looking forward to seeing what else is thrown into the mix.

[Jamison]

Okay people! It's the 11th. That means One-Third of the month of October has passed! Three amazing entries so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else comes in.

Remember, anyone who hasn't reserved a genre pairing, and wishes to, you still have an opportunity to do so! The more participants and entries sent in, the better; even though it'll make it even tougher on me when it comes to trying to decide on a winner.

Also, to those who are still working on their pitches, how is the process going? I want to know it all! XD

[MJ]

I'm about half way through my pitch. I have most the stuff sorted in my head, just a matter of writing it down now, have graphics done, finally figured out a title, and got my characters and cast sorted out. Also, I ended up with a huge ensemble cast. Oops XD

But I am having so much fun with this. Seriously, awesome MOTM choice Chris!

[Connor J. J]

I have my basic premise and two of my main characters. Just thinking about casting and everything.

But this has been so fun!

EDIT: The only thing I'm worried about, is without the characters being known my premise sounds really cliche (at least to me :S)

[Jamison]

Sounds awesome, MJ and Connor! I'm looking forward to seeing what you two have come up with. I'm loving how all of the entries so far have really taken the initial idea of making premise, to a whole new level with full blown pitches! xD

[Connor J. J]

Black City

a virtual series created by Connor J. Jones

PREMISE

The City of Barkley is one of the most crime-ridden cities in the whole of the western world. Murders, muggings, burglaries, assaults leave the residents either as tough as nails or full blown criminals. But it’s also probably the only place, where the Police Force could be more corrupted than the actual criminals. Nobody knows why so many of these crimes go unsolved and without fair justice, even the cops themselves.
One night, Officer Hunt Whitfield saves a man from a mysterious attack where the mugger disappears without a trace. This sets him on a mysterious trail to find the culprit that leads him to a shocking discovery: not only are the heads of the force ignoring the crimes, it seems they may be trying to cover up a number of strange cases. Corruption, Lust, Greed and Lies are discovered on the road to clarity. And when he finds the attacker, he discovers that they may know more about the city than he does himself.


CHARACTERS

Officer Hunt Whitfield

portayed by

Josh Dallas

Hunt Whitfield works as a Police Officer for the Barkley Police Department. He is confident, street-smart and instinctive. Most of his colleagues agree that in their city, these qualities are needed not only to work well, but to survive. He tries to not let his job take over his life, but his strong moral sense often stands in the way. His best friend is Detective Lori Brown, who works on the force with him. One night, after receiving a report of a mugging, he races to the scene only to find the victim attacked in a strange way. He appears more ill and tired than injured. And the attacker has disappeared.
On his way to find the criminal, he discovers that the Police Force could have deadly connections with people more dangerous than simple mob bosses. And when he finds out, that an innocent in one his cases, is the attacker in the mysterious assault, he discovers she may know more than it seems.

Kim Dorset

portayed by

Rachel Skarsten

Kim Dorset works as a stripper at the local strip club, The Scarlet Heart. She’s cunning, sharp-tongued and her beautiful looks seem too good to be true. She previously worked as a prostitute before upgrading into what she sees as a “less exciting demotion”. So, why did she become a stripper? More customers. Kim isn’t just inhuman in her personality, she is literally. Kim is a one of the shady creatures that scour Barkley. Kim needs to leech sexual energy in order to live.
Hunt runs into Kim during a gun raid on the strip club where he discovers she may know about the mysterious dealing occurring within the Police Force. A later chain of appearances, and he discovers that the raid on The Scarlet Heart may not have been the first time he and Kim met.

Inspector Lori Brown

portayed by

Shiri Appleby

Lori Brown is detective for the Barkley Police Department. She is intelligent, inquisitive and quirky but something seems to haunt her that no one can discover. She is Hunt’s childhood best friend and they both work on the police force together. A few years ago she was shot during an investigation that left her mentally scarred and with a strong fear of gun attacks. She was told to leave the force but stayed strong against all odds. She hasn’t been the same since the accident and she fears she may be losing her mind.

Officer Josh Parks

portayed by

Chris Pine

Josh Parks used to be the best officer for the Barkley Police Department, and the only person close to besting him was friend and partner, Hunt Whitfield. But after failing too many cases, the fun-loving, optimistic man snapped and spiralled into drug use, a lack of morality and became mentally unstable. Aggressive and anti-social, many people wonder what happened to Josh and what could’ve have caused a good man to become so evil.

Captain Max Pierce

portayed by

Victor Webster

Max Pierce is a mysterious, remorseless, ruthless man. He is the head of the BPD and doesn’t seem to care about the countless victims of crime across the city. He is caught by Hunt in negotiations with evil and shadowy people.


PREMISE

1.01- City of Sins

Officer Hunt Whitfield rushes to the scene of a strange attack, where upon investigation he discovers a shocking negotiation in place between Captain of the police force and a mysterious figure. And when trying to find the attacker, Hunt finds they may know more than he does. After supervising a gun raid, Lori Brown has a nervous breakdown.


1.02- Angels and Demons

After crossing paths again with Kim, Hunt realises she may not be as normal as she seems. Officer Josh Parks gets into trouble with a drug dealer and Lori remembers an unnerving detail about the night she was shot.


1.03- Witnesses and Prosecutors

When the victim of Kim’s attack, shares his experience with Hunt, his gets his final piece of the puzzle to her identity. Kim reveals to Hunt what she knows about the city. Lori finds disturbing signs in a case and Josh performs a terrible act.


THEME SONG

(the first verse and chorus)



CREATOR NOTES

My genres were Police Drama and Horror. I envision this vs as gritty and realistic all the while with some dark supernatural elements. It would have about 9/10 episodes a season with an 45-52 mins in length for each episode. It would have mature elements and if I were to give it a real life network I’d say HBO, Showtime etc.

Season One’s storylines would be Hunt discovering Kim’s secret and uncovering the mysteries of the town’s system, Lori discovering who shot her and the devastating consequences. And the audience discovering the change to Josh.

This entry was my first MOTM and it was so fun to do. I hope you like it too.

[Deleted]

Holy crap, guys! These are fantastic!! Poor Chris is going to have a hard decision this month! XD

[Amin]

^Perhaps we should make this one a community vote? Just an idea. These pitches are far too brilliant for one mind alone to handle. xD