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Post by Jack Malone on Jan 20, 2017 8:30:59 GMT -6
Really excited for this to premiere! Also, those title cards are incredible. Awesome work!
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Post by Jack Malone on May 25, 2017 17:10:14 GMT -6
Sad to hear about the delay, but I know how important it is to release a run of episodes that feels connected and doesn't cut off just because it's the most recent episode written. Looking forward to when the show finally airs. I've been excited for this project since you pitched it  |
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Post by Alex Matthews on Dec 19, 2017 16:30:47 GMT -6
Just a random drop by to see what's going on with the show..?
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Post by Matthew James on Feb 1, 2021 20:28:28 GMT -6
1x01 - F My Life "Review" SPOILERS BEWARE: I finally got around to reading the first three episodes for this and I'll drop my reviews starting with episode one! THE GOOD: The story overall was a ton of fun, one of those Spring Break parties that go too far stories. This leading to the predicament our "hero" finds himself in, and as a result, finds his whole life flipped upside down. What I really loved were the real consequences the character deals with. The only problem I had was I thought his call to the Dean's office was a BIG overreaction from Dylan lol, For someone so socially awkward as Dylan is I thought it was extremely ballsy, but thus begins his adventure I guess! Riff is my new hero. Nothing bad better happen to him like ever lol. I love how outspoken and charming he comes off even when reading. I can hardly describe him, it doesn't feel like he fits any particular character type box, and I look forward to the hijinks and situations he'll find himself in. THE BAD:
Dylan on the other hand although I like how awkward he can be, was the weakest part of the episode  it feels like he lacks personality. All we know about him from this first episode is he really really cares about them A's haha. But this could all be design because as he says: Maybe we'll find out exactly who he is now that he's a college dropout. RATING: It only feels natural to review this in a Grade system haha, but I'll give it a solid A a 9/10 (please don't get Dylan to drunkenly call my office). I'm looking forward to reading more! |
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Jay Paterson
 
Episode 4 - "There's Something About Leila" - Out Now
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Post by Jay Paterson on Feb 18, 2021 19:38:47 GMT -6
1x01 - F My Life "Review" SPOILERS BEWARE: I finally got around to reading the first three episodes for this and I'll drop my reviews starting with episode one! THE GOOD: The story overall was a ton of fun, one of those Spring Break parties that go too far stories. This leading to the predicament our "hero" finds himself in, and as a result, finds his whole life flipped upside down. What I really loved were the real consequences the character deals with. The only problem I had was I thought his call to the Dean's office was a BIG overreaction from Dylan lol, For someone so socially awkward as Dylan is I thought it was extremely ballsy, but thus begins his adventure I guess! Riff is my new hero. Nothing bad better happen to him like ever lol. I love how outspoken and charming he comes off even when reading. I can hardly describe him, it doesn't feel like he fits any particular character type box, and I look forward to the hijinks and situations he'll find himself in. THE BAD:
Dylan on the other hand although I like how awkward he can be, was the weakest part of the episode it feels like he lacks personality. All we know about him from this first episode is he really really cares about them A's haha. But this could all be design because as he says: Maybe we'll find out exactly who he is now that he's a college dropout. RATING: It only feels natural to review this in a Grade system haha, but I'll give it a solid A a 9/10 (please don't get Dylan to drunkenly call my office). I'm looking forward to reading more! Thanks for taking the time to read my little series on here, Matthew. I loved hearing your thoughts on the pilot and hope to hear what you thought of the rest. I'm almost disappointed your review didn't have a "The Ugly" section. Lol. You're right, calling the dean is a complete overreaction. I think his actions as a whole was a total overreaction. This is just a kid who was clearly too wasted to be making any decisions and a lot of alcohol turns into a lot of courage, regrettably. Riff is a fun character to write for, he's very spontaneous which is the complete opposite of Dylan, and he ends up being the reason the two end up in the predicaments they are in. But it'll soon come to bite him in the ass. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head with your last point. Dylan doesn't really know himself he's put his education first always so hasn't lived as much as the other characters we'll meet along the way. There's a reason for the way he is which will be explained the more the show progresses but this show is about him finding himself again. I hope you get to see his personality shine through in the upcoming episodes. Thanks again, Matthew. I've loved hearing you're thought. It reminds me I really need to upload episode 4, there is one scene in particular which needs fixing and it's driving me nuts, but hopefully, I can get it out soon. |
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Post by Brady Brown on Feb 22, 2021 19:26:11 GMT -6
Ah! Jay! So excited this has started airing! Hopefully I can find some time and binge through what you've posted here, but congrats! So happy to see this still going! |
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Post by Matthew James on Mar 1, 2021 2:44:47 GMT -6
Episode Two: Staff Wanted
The UPSIDE:
The Story: I enjoyed this one a lot. It's a homecoming for Dylan who has to face the reality of his situation, as he begins to question what the hell he's going to do now, the answer is pretty obvious. Get a job, ya bum!
Character Development: Last week, I put Dylan in my Bad section, and am thrilled that he starts to shine here. He is the most brightest in his interactions with Leila and Ron (at least for me), I feel like we actually get to see his personality in his scenes with Leila and I find his dynamic with Ron an interesting one, most kids don't tend to like their step parents but Dylan seems fine despite the fact that his parents can get... frisky with each other.
New Characters: As mentioned above, I liked Leila and am interested to see where you take this girl next door, and Sammy was a blast to read, he certainly seems like a very interesting manager!
THE DOWNSIDE:
Riff: The simple fact that there isn't more of our favorite slacker/sidekick!
Interviews: If you ask me, Dylan gets very lucky that Riff and Sammy get him a job after only one interview, I feel like most people go on many interviews before they ever get a job. Especially when you have zero experience! And get frustrated with the interview process after many failed ones, and yet Dylan seems to reach that point after just one interview lol. I think it could have made Dylan more relatable if his search was drawn out a bit more even if it was just a quick montage of them.
THE RATING:
Another solid episode! I'd give a B+ which is apparently an 8.5/10! I wish Dylan's quest for employment had been even more difficult, and the use of the word, Róumî? Now I've deduced that it's a resume? I felt like in small town Americana, you might get maybe one person calling it a Roumi, but not everyone. It kind of pulled me out of the episode. But again, I did really like the episode and can't wait for episode three! How will our favorite Nerd handle working at a coffee shop? I'm nearly caught up. Keep up the good work Jay!
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Jay Paterson
Episode 4 - "There's Something About Leila" - Out Now
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Post by Jay Paterson on Mar 1, 2021 6:25:17 GMT -6
Episode Two: Staff Wanted The UPSIDE:The Story: I enjoyed this one a lot. It's a homecoming for Dylan who has to face the reality of his situation, as he begins to question what the hell he's going to do now, the answer is pretty obvious. Get a job, ya bum!
Character Development: Last week, I put Dylan in my Bad section, and am thrilled that he starts to shine here. He is the most brightest in his interactions with Leila and Ron (at least for me), I feel like we actually get to see his personality in his scenes with Leila and I find his dynamic with Ron an interesting one, most kids don't tend to like their step parents but Dylan seems fine despite the fact that his parents can get... frisky with each other. New Characters: As mentioned above, I liked Leila and am interested to see where you take this girl next door, and Sammy was a blast to read, he certainly seems like a very interesting manager! THE DOWNSIDE: Riff: The simple fact that there isn't more of our favorite slacker/sidekick! Interviews: If you ask me, Dylan gets very lucky that Riff and Sammy get him a job after only one interview, I feel like most people go on many interviews before they ever get a job. Especially when you have zero experience! And get frustrated with the interview process after many failed ones, and yet Dylan seems to reach that point after just one interview lol. I think it could have made Dylan more relatable if his search was drawn out a bit more even if it was just a quick montage of them. THE RATING:
Another solid episode! I'd give a B+ which is apparently an 8.5/10! I wish Dylan's quest for employment had been even more difficult, and the use of the word, Róumî? Now I've deduced that it's a resume? I felt like in small town Americana, you might get maybe one person calling it a Roumi, but not everyone. It kind of pulled me out of the episode. But again, I did really like the episode and can't wait for episode three! How will our favorite Nerd handle working at a coffee shop? I'm nearly caught up. Keep up the good work Jay! Thanks for taking the time to read Staff Unwanted. I loved that Dylan is growing on you and hope he continues to do so. He definitely gets his chance to shine in this episode as he moves home and we find out a bit more about him. I really enjoy writing interactions between Leila and Dylan so I'm glad you're enjoying them. It's interesting you mention Ron, their relationship is quite different and will have its up and downs throughout the series. So if that's a dynamic you Riff will have more of a presence going forward, I promise. I totally agree with you about the interviews. There was a montage in there a while back but I cut it as the script was becoming too long and I was trying to stick to a similar length to the pilot. Which has totally gone out of the window since. I thought having the following scene showing fewer resumes and his shirt undone and things would be enough to show time passing but it doesn't really show all the rejections which had initially been in there. Thanks again, Matthew, I really appreciate your thoughts and can't wait to hear what you think about episode 3. |
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Post by Jack Malone on Mar 8, 2021 23:11:16 GMT -6
REVIEW: "F My Life"
I still remember the pilot for this series, and how much I enjoyed it when you were pitching 'Dropouts,' and so slipping back into this world was a lot of fun — hoping to stay in this world for this upcoming first sequence and deliver on some reviews!
The premise for this show is really exciting to me because you introduce a character like Dylan, who appears to have been so goal-driven and focused on getting the best grades, and you take all of that away from him by episode's end to push him into the life of being a college dropout and into a world that's going to be so foreign to him with what could be an endless amount of possibilities for adventure. I feel sorry for him that one drunken mistake has kind of derailed his life — even though it is clear that he's been festering this disdain for what college has been like for him so far — but it works so well because it is almost like he hasn't started to try and live life until this moment and that this series will be a huge growing experience for him. I particularly liked how much focus was on him and his grades because I think it makes hearing him receive a 'B' that makes you feel for the guy — he spends all his time focused on assignments and denies himself a life outside of it, only for him to start declining and missing out on that aspect of it, too. It makes me believe how he could throw it all away in one night.
I think another aspect pulling Dylan towards his conclusion of derailing his college life is the character of Riff, who appears to be so carefree and capable of enjoying life. The whole concept of just moving away and living by the beach sounds so "sure, like that's going to happen" to the average person, but to a character like Riff, it's like there aren't any limitations blocking him from dreaming big and actually achieving it. It's a really nice contrast between the two main characters, and I'm looking forward to their dynamic going forward because they are so different in that regard. While I think the adventure and the fun is going to lie in how much Riff can show Dylan in a world outside of college, I'm probably even more interested in what Riff could learn from Dylan and how he'll progress as a character going forward, too.
The comedy in this series premiere is also part of what I loved so much about it. The voicemail message playing in front of the Dean's family was just hilarious. It also helped ground the Dean's reaction of not just pulling the scholarship, but doing his part to make sure no other college would even consider taking Dylan in the future. But even the antics at the beach, and some of the lines that come from Riff — it's nice to see you deliver comedy in a way that enhances the story rather than disrupts it.
Overall, I'm really excited to keep reading. Now that there are some more episodes out, I'm looking forward to getting to them and leaving some reviews. Good luck with the rest of the sequence, and I can't wait to see where the story goes from here!
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Jay Paterson
Episode 4 - "There's Something About Leila" - Out Now
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Post by Jay Paterson on Mar 9, 2021 17:11:06 GMT -6
REVIEW: "F My Life"I still remember the pilot for this series, and how much I enjoyed it when you were pitching 'Dropouts,' and so slipping back into this world was a lot of fun — hoping to stay in this world for this upcoming first sequence and deliver on some reviews! The premise for this show is really exciting to me because you introduce a character like Dylan, who appears to have been so goal-driven and focused on getting the best grades, and you take all of that away from him by episode's end to push him into the life of being a college dropout and into a world that's going to be so foreign to him with what could be an endless amount of possibilities for adventure. I feel sorry for him that one drunken mistake has kind of derailed his life — even though it is clear that he's been festering this disdain for what college has been like for him so far — but it works so well because it is almost like he hasn't started to try and live life until this moment and that this series will be a huge growing experience for him. I particularly liked how much focus was on him and his grades because I think it makes hearing him receive a 'B' that makes you feel for the guy — he spends all his time focused on assignments and denies himself a life outside of it, only for him to start declining and missing out on that aspect of it, too. It makes me believe how he could throw it all away in one night. This was a nice surprise to wake up this morning and read your thoughts on the pilot, Jack. You were always a big supporter of this so I'm happy you got to see it finally air and hope you stick around for the ride. I'm so happy you resonate with Dylan right off the bat. Reading your review I can see you had a sense of where he was coming from, working so hard for those grades, giving up so much of his life and still not feeling enough. It was a worry having Dylan drunk for the most part of the pilot that his personality wouldn't come across so this was nice to hear it did for you. Yes. Riff did have a big part to play in this. He and Dylan are very different as young adults as opposed to childhood and they both feed off one another which makes their interactions a hoot to write. You make some interesting points about Riff and him having no limitations and how this contrasts Dylan. Riff has these big idea's and isn't afraid to voice them yet he still lives in the same town they grew up in, yet Dylan doesn't and finds it scary to think outside the box yet he made it to Columbia University. There is a lot that contrasts them as friends and you will see that play out as the series progresses. There's a lot they can learn from one another and I hope Riff's journey doesn't disappoint. Comedy is very daunting to write so its an absolute relief you enjoy it in this episode. I'm just hoping you feel the same with the others. Lol. Thanks for taking the time read and review, it means a lot. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the sequence. |
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Post by Jack Malone on Mar 15, 2021 23:06:08 GMT -6
REVIEW: "Staff Unwanted"
If the premiere was the drunk, no inhibitions, do and say what you want type of a night out, this second episode was the sobering, back-to-reality wake up call that usually follows and it allowed us to get a deeper understanding of these characters and this world without the fantasy-type haze a solid night of drinking can provide.
The tonal shift was immediately felt in the car ride between Riff and Dylan, and I really appreciated the way it was handled. Riff was able to offer some pretty Rocky-inspired advice that definitely resonated with Dylan's situation, and it was done in such a way that added a level of depth to their dynamic (that would have otherwise felt manic had you condensed it all into the first episode). In fact, both their scenes together in this episode proved that it isn't a one-note dynamic of Dylan being more conservative and reserved with Riff as just the polar opposite and being the "fun one" of the two - there's unravelling layers to them and their relationship that were definitely felt in this outing. It just nice to see that under all the quality banter, and the fun shenanigans, there is such a level of care and affection there and you didn't have to jeopardise one or the other to make it work.
This episode felt very much about Dylan returning home, and us being welcomed to the life he had left behind to pursue college. While I loved meeting the family - and there's a little story beat of heartbreak in Dylan and the photograph of his father - it was meeting Leila that really drove the story forward for me. Sometimes when stories incorporate tropes, it doesn't work when they're not aware they're using a trope, but I like how you lean into the "girl next door" aspect of this dynamic, and I like the groundwork that was laid in order to establish that there is a history between them - so much so that everyone in Dylan's life is pointing it out to him. This is also where the episode's funniest part came in for me - it was hilarious to see the step-dad waving that "sorry you lost your scholarship" sign while Dylan was trying to lie about why he's back to Leila. I thought that was something I could so easily picture on screen and it gave me a good chuckle. Speaking of Dylan's lie, I think that's a story I'm interested in seeing play out because it definitely shifted and evolved throughout the episode, resulting in a story about Dylan deferring a year because he misses his family. I think that lays the groundwork for this lie to last quite a while. I'm just wondering if it's something that will blow up later in a catastrophic sense, or if it's something that would even impact Leila to find out? Either way, I'm hooked. It's clear we're on a path of these two becoming love interests for each other, and somewhat of a secret resting between the two of them.
Another highlight of the episode was Dylan's job search that took him to an herbal tea place. I saw in the cast page that Toni Collette was playing Tanya, and that may have just slightly made the scene even better, picturing her in that brief role. Highlighting the ridiculous "experience" required for such simple jobs was definitely at the center of Dylan's struggle here, but I think instead of leaving us in that moment, it was clever to switch that around and twist it to where Tanya says, rather bluntly, about not wanting to hire quitters. It was a nice shift in the otherwise comedic world of this store where we're kind of being just as up-nosed (is that the right expression) towards this Herbal Tea store and the question of Dylan having any experience in that field, because it does feel ridiculous, but you refuse to let any scene/moment/interaction feel one-noted, which I just love.
Ultimately, the job search results in a nice fusing of the worlds and it has me really excited to see where the story goes from this point on. The main characters (Dylan, Riff and Leila) were all established really well in these first two episodes, and it almost feels like these two episodes were a two-parter to set up the show (although they do run much better as separate instalments for sure). Anyway, I'm keen to keep reading on, and updating with reviews as I go. Awesome work so far, Jay!
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Jay Paterson
Episode 4 - "There's Something About Leila" - Out Now
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Post by Jay Paterson on May 26, 2021 16:44:37 GMT -6
REVIEW: "Staff Unwanted" If the premiere was the drunk, no inhibitions, do and say what you want type of a night out, this second episode was the sobering, back-to-reality wake up call that usually follows and it allowed us to get a deeper understanding of these characters and this world without the fantasy-type haze a solid night of drinking can provide. The tonal shift was immediately felt in the car ride between Riff and Dylan, and I really appreciated the way it was handled. Riff was able to offer some pretty Rocky-inspired advice that definitely resonated with Dylan's situation, and it was done in such a way that added a level of depth to their dynamic (that would have otherwise felt manic had you condensed it all into the first episode). In fact, both their scenes together in this episode proved that it isn't a one-note dynamic of Dylan being more conservative and reserved with Riff as just the polar opposite and being the "fun one" of the two - there's unravelling layers to them and their relationship that were definitely felt in this outing. It just nice to see that under all the quality banter, and the fun shenanigans, there is such a level of care and affection there and you didn't have to jeopardise one or the other to make it work. Thanks for taking the time to dive into episode 2 of the series. Apologies for the late response I've been meaning to get back to you on this. The contrast in tone from the first episode to now would have felt too abrupt to fit into the pilot alone. I'm happy I took the advice of the reviewers during my pitch to split it into two episodes. having those extra pages allowed me to give more time to Dylan returning home and fleshing out his regretful journey and having those moments to explore the boy's relationships some more. I'm relieved you are seeing more depth to them as the show progresses because that was my biggest worry coming off of the pilot so your comments make me very happy! Thanks. The girl next door trope was how I wanted Leila's character to be introduced, it's how Dylan sees her, that movie type of the perfect girl. It's an image he has built up of her which is why he's projecting this perfect image of himself now, even if that means telling a lie. But the more we learn about Leila we find out there's more depth than that and her real image will come to the surface. The question is when this does, will Dylan tell his truth. At first, the lie was going to come quite early on and rather little consequence but as the stories built It's going to play a bigger part and hopefully have some bigger repercussions down the line. Haha that scene with the "sorry you lost your scholarship" sign was really fun to write. It's probably the only scene I have kept from the original draft of this episode so I'm glad it gave you a chuckle. I couldn't picture anyone other than Toni Collete for this role. I just love her. The plan was to have a high profile actor in each episode as a special appearance, Don Cheadle as the dean in episode 1, Toni Collette here and June Squibb in episode 3 and so on and to have the audience vote someone back for an episode just so I can challenge myself to write them back in. But Episode 4 doesn't have a cameo due to not having enough time. But I still might carry out this idea. Your words are too kind. I've never seen myself as a comedy writing so I'm always questioning if it's coming off slapstick or not even comedic at all but having you confirm that nothing has come across as one-note this far means alot. You're definitely right, although separate they work better together so it was always the plan to release them together. Thanks again for the kind words, Jack. You have made my night. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Episode 3 and 4. Hopefully it won't be long until I have episode 5 up. |
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Post by Matthew James on Jun 1, 2021 13:44:53 GMT -6
Review SPOILERS BEWARE: 1x04 "There's Something about Leila"For starters. Once again at the top of your game when it comes to creating hijinks, and situational dramedy. I love the situations you have Dylan (find) and Riff (put himself in). I'm so happy whenever I read these episodes. It feels like you're finding the characters voices more with every episode that passes. I loved seeing Dylan's (attempted) heroic side, even though you know there's going to be a twist at the end, it's still really fulfilling to see it play out. I enjoyed PI Riff, and all his little Veronica Mars references and that Megaphone,  . Leila getting some character development, I can't wait to see what you come up with for why she left and why she came back, and we get a new main character with Courtney, the new awkward and bumbling girl next door. There isn't much to comment on with her just yet, but I'm sure I'll have more to say as the season progresses. I have no negative or little oddities to point out. I think you did great with this one (clap) (clap), so I'm going to give this episode 10 overflowing Taco's with guac out of 10.
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Jay Paterson
Episode 4 - "There's Something About Leila" - Out Now
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Post by Jay Paterson on Jun 3, 2021 18:10:21 GMT -6
Review SPOILERS BEWARE: 1x04 "There's Something about Leila"For starters. Once again at the top of your game when it comes to creating hijinks, and situational dramedy. I love the situations you have Dylan (find) and Riff (put himself in). I'm so happy whenever I read these episodes. It feels like you're finding the characters voices more with every episode that passes. I loved seeing Dylan's (attempted) heroic side, even though you know there's going to be a twist at the end, it's still really fulfilling to see it play out. I enjoyed PI Riff, and all his little Veronica Mars references and that Megaphone, . Leila getting some character development, I can't wait to see what you come up with for why she left and why she came back, and we get a new main character with Courtney, the new awkward and bumbling girl next door. There isn't much to comment on with her just yet, but I'm sure I'll have more to say as the season progresses. I have no negative or little oddities to point out. I think you did great with this one (clap) (clap), so I'm going to give this episode 10 overflowing Taco's with guac out of 10. Thanks for the kind words Matthew. You reminded me of how fun this episode was to write, but also excruciating getting it on to the page. Hopefully I can get more out soon for your to read.  |
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Post by Darrin McCann on Jun 14, 2021 15:05:22 GMT -6
REVIEW - 1.01 'F My Life' & 1.02 'Staff Unwanted'
So, finally I have found some time to review some V.S. It has really been a minute since I was able to do that, and I am excited to start with Dropouts. I had to go back and reread the Pilot because it's been a hot minute since I last read it. What I remember from the initial Pilot was how excited I was for this series.
You have such a great sense of humor and it's great how you're able to translate that into your work. I love the interactions between Dylan and Riff, definitely a ying and yang relationship. I have had friendships like that where, not only do we challenge each other, but we also help each other grow. This is seen by how more relaxed Dylan gets during Spring Break compared to his college self. It's nice to see two characters who couldn't be more opposite because you know from their initial interactions that the story possibilities are endless. And that's what going to keep the series interesting.
I love the cuts of the scenes. It really adds to the comedic timing of the series. This is seen when Dylan makes his drunken phone call and the Dean and his family.
I am a sucker for any series or film that slips the title into it somehow. Examples: While You Were Sleeping... Hope Floats... Yes, I realize I am naming off Sandra Bullock films, but they're also examples of films that slipped the title into the script. I love how you were able to do that in the final moments of Dropouts. For me in just ties everything together.
The second episode picks up where we left off in the pilot. I really love how Riff is not just this 'bad influence' but also a great friend who's there to pick his friend back up when the world turns to crap.
There's something endearing about supportive parents in cataclysmic circumstances. The whole banner scene had me cracking right up. Patty & Ronald really stole the episode for me. I love the mix of comedy and drama. You write it so well, seriously. An example is Dylan in his room, it goes back to what I said about your scene cuts. One minute we're having this super funny moment and the next is this sentimental scene. You do it really well.
I love how even one-off characters (I am assuming) get unforgettable dialogue scenes, like Tanya Jane of TJ's Herbal Tea. Her snapback response to Dylan had me in stitches.
Another great episode! Can't wait to dig in to the rest of the first season!
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it feels like he lacks personality. All we know about him from this first episode is he really really cares about them A's haha. But this could all be design because as he says: Maybe we'll find out exactly who he is now that he's a college dropout.
. Leila getting some character development, I can't wait to see what you come up with for why she left and why she came back, and we get a new main character with Courtney, the new awkward and bumbling girl next door. There isn't much to comment on with her just yet, but I'm sure I'll have more to say as the season progresses. 