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Post by MJ on Nov 26, 2010 1:01:07 GMT -6
Thanks for the shout out Jack. I've really enjoyed reading and reviewing Watchtower and I'm glad my little contributions have helped  Anyway, I'm going to give a quick review of episode 11 'Homecoming' before I go and read the season finale. Because I really want to read the finale I'm just going to point out the things I didn't really like/thought were a bit questionable in this episode so I don't spend ages on the review. Anything I don't bring up you can assume I thought it was awesome XD The talk between Chloe and her dad at the end of the first act was very information heavy with little action. I would have like to have seen that broken up a bit by something because information dumps are never much fun. Maybe it would have been better if you had cut between Chloe and Gabe in the kitchen and Oliver and Moria in the living room and had Gabe and Moria each telling the story to Chloe and Oliver respectively. It would have broken up the scene a bit and made it a little more interesting I think Okay, I think I'm reading this scene right (the last one in act two) and it appears that Helena stabs Emil in the stomach/general gut area? I find this a bit odd if she then needed him to help her do something. A stab wound in that area can hit a number of major organs which can cause a fairly quick death, not to mention getting stabbed would be pretty darn painful. She didn't know at the time of stabbing him that he would have is little wonder cure on hand so she either would have had to be sure Emil would tell her everything she wanted to know after stabbing him OR planned to take him to get medical attention before he showed her where the 'undisclosed facility' was. Just something that really bugged me as I was reading but if I've totally mis-interpreted "stepping forward with a blade in her hand, grabbing Emil’s tie and pulling him in. Throwing him against the wall, she runs it into his gut." feel free to ignore my little rant  The scene between Moria, Gabe and Oliver seemed a little over the top in it's romanticism in my opinion. It was kinda redeemed because it lead to the whole 'proposal' thing but until I read that part the whole 'meant to be' and 'love of my life' kinda had me going *bleh*. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Chlollie but I'm not big on the overplayed romanticism and I really don't think it suits Watchtower when there is too much of it. This is personal opinion though so don't get too caught up on what I said Pah, Emil. I really can't wait until we get a new villain, I've just really not liked him that much all season and not in the good 'love to hate' kinda way. Just have to say quickly I love the song choice for the end of the episode! I have it on my itunes so I played it while I was reading and it really complemented those last few scenes fantastically!!!!! Also, YAY, Amanda Waller! Now there's a good villain. Anyway, I give the episode an 8/10. Not my favourite but not bad either |
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Post by MJ on Nov 23, 2010 3:07:08 GMT -6
Can't wait to see a pilot for this. I'm glad you're thinking things through, and not working yourself too hard with full episodes, and such. Excited Full episodes would have been nice but the more I thought about it the more I realised how hard that would be while I was working on Edge of Vision too. Edge of Vision is an extremely detailed story with lots of mystery and twists in the plot that means each episode takes A LOT of work. I knew I wouldn't be able to work on another complex plot at the same time so, thankfully, Snake Pit allows for more 1-shot story lines and shorter episodes so I should be able to work on while working on Edge of Vision at the same time  I'll be starting the pilot soon hopefully, I want to finish up a couple more Edge of Vision episodes first though |
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Post by MJ on Nov 23, 2010 2:50:18 GMT -6
Love the birds of prey |
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Post by MJ on Nov 22, 2010 22:49:18 GMT -6
I'm getting back into working on this idea (because I really do love it) and have decided that I'm going to change to half hour episodes. It'll be much easier for me to complete it that way and I won't have too be to reliant on huge story arcs. Also, I'm still open to the idea of having other writers work on the show with me so if you're interested just send me a message |
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Post by MJ on Nov 22, 2010 22:43:04 GMT -6
The finale sounds great Jack. I can't wait to read it!
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Post by MJ on Oct 20, 2010 18:55:18 GMT -6
I'm at Uni and kinda bored so I'm going to reply to your reply Jack I'll find you the exact part where I thought it was used wrong... "to witness the figure DROPPING in from behind them - the Huntress - retracting their weapon." and other time: "The Huntress THROWS her staff forward, and a sharp blade retracts at the top." Particularly in the second example the notion of the blade 'retracting' implies that the blade was already out and then by 'retracting' withdrew into the weapon. I can't think of the word you would use instead, it's kind of escaping me at the moment but I'm almost definite it's not retract. I'm just looking it up in a thesaurus now and words they've got in place of 'retract' are things like 'pull in', 'draw in', 'pull back' and 'withdraw'. So yeah, I'm not trying to have a go at you or anything, just hoping to help you improve your wording in this case I can get a bit nitpicky sometimes True, you make a good point there. I guess It's because Watchtower is sort of set in the 'real world' so I don't have as much suspension of disbelief as I normally would with an outright fantasy story. So that's not so much on your part and more on mine because, like I mentioned before, I can get a little picky with details XD I should probably clarify here that it wasn't so much the reference of Jimmy that bugged me but the way it was worded. I get that it would have been horrible for Chloe and it would something pretty emotional to talk about yet that emotion didn't really come across in the words she was using. "He fell to my arms and I watched him breathe his last breath. His eyes staring back up at mine with the life slowly draining out of them." When I read that I was a bit 'who actually speaks like that?'. I get it for dramatic purposes but the way she described his death sounded a bit more like how someone would write it down rather than how someone would explain it to someone else. I think what I'm trying to say is that it sounded really cliché and a little over the top. Sometimes cliché and over the top works and sometimes it doesn't and this time I don't think it really worked. Oh, it was unpredictable in that I wasn't expecting it to happen in this episode but I had a feeling when Perry found it it wouldn't necessarily be on Chloe's terms I do like Perry as a character. I think he sort of balances out all the other characters. While everyone else is running around being superheros you've got Perry who is a little more grounded and sort of like a mentor for the younger characters. I think that's why I don't like him having all those crazy story lines where he's out and about getting kidnapped or attacked and such, I prefer him as more of a stable character who Chloe can go to for advice and trust with her secret. Haha! Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking when I was reading it. 'Uh, I'm pretty sure that guy died' was my thought throughout the whole thing but I have to say I loved the way you explained how when he got shot it wasn't actually fatal. That was a twist I didn't see coming at all, I was expecting someone else just taking up the name of Black Mask, not the original guy Doooo itttt! Oh well, can't get it perfect every time XD I'm just going to assume Oliver picked up a gun off one of the guards at one point because he felt there wasn't enough variety in his life Don't worry, I get so attached to my characters too. I was originally going to kill of one of the Edge of Vision characters in the first/second episode but got so attached to them I couldn't do it *yay for random trivia* Good call. That could be a very fun sub-plot for the second season (because, let's face it, you're going to get second season. Just look at all the reviews you've been given!) Thank you! I do really enjoy reviewing Watchtower, it's a fantastic series you've got going here. I also know how much I love reviews of my own work so I figure the rest of the writers on the site would love to hear what people think of their work too |
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Post by MJ on Oct 19, 2010 7:29:08 GMT -6
My gosh I write long reviews. I don't mean for them to be so long I swear XD
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Post by MJ on Oct 19, 2010 7:26:24 GMT -6
So, after a bit of a wait (which I totally understand as I am trying to write Edge of Vision with Uni exams coming up myself :/ ) I finally get to read and review 'Vendetta', Watchtower's tenth episode. Anyway, starting with the recap. I know it's all stuff we've seen before but I loved the snippets you chose and thought that whole part went together well. The teaser is quite good too, not much to say because it's pretty short but I do quite enjoy the description you give in you action lines Anyway, this review will be a bit different, I'll be writing it as I read the episode so hopefully my opinions will be a lot fresher in my mind when I write them down. The structure of the review might be a bit different from my usual ones too but I want to see if this works better for me or not when it comes to reviewing Now, act one. I like that we get to see a bit of Lucius Fox, I quite like his character so that was cool. The conversation that Chloe and Oliver had over the phone made me smile, it was cute and quite funny and it's what I love about them being a couple. While I did like the Huntress scenes in the first act the use of the word 'retract' during her fight really bugged me. Retract, by definition, means to draw or pull (something) back or back in but you were using it in the context of her taking something out or revealing something. It's no biggie but I thought I'd point it out to you that sometimes the words you use aren't the right words for the context they're being used in or their meaning is different than what you thought it is. Act two. Don't care much for Emil, like I said he's a bit of a 'bleh' character for me but Chloe coming in to save the day is always pretty cool, though I kind of have to wonder how she managed to get into a prison which is in the process of locking down even with all her Watchtower awesomeness.... Helena and Olivers scene, pretty much perfect. The start of it I absolutely loved. I could pretty much see it playing out in my head and it was awesome "If at first you don't succeed try something else, I guess..." Brilliant, I actually laughed out loud at that line. Chloe describing the death of Jimmy didn't quite hit the right emotional chords for me, well, the first bit anyway felt a little forced (Three years ago, my husband was killed. He fell to my arms and I watched him breathe his last breath. His eyes staring back up at mine with the life slowly draining out of them.). The second bit though (That sort of image doesn’t leave you. That feeling doesn’t leave you. But I didn’t put on a mask and start murdering people!) I thought was really great. Oh, and Perry hiding behind the door, totally guessed he was going to find out about Watchtower by hearing something he wasn't supposed too XD Act three. Ah, Helena you silly girl, you shouldn't be running into things all mad and not thinking Oh! Plot twist! I was wondering if it was the same Black Mask as before, glad that got explained to us as I was really starting to wonder about that. Haha! Roman calls her a silly girl too! I hadn't read that far when I wrote 'silly girl' earlier so I chuckled a bit at that XD These are some pretty interesting scenes for Helena, I'm enjoying them a lot. Act four. Back to where we started! I wonder now if Oliver will swoop in (hero's always seem to swop in don't they? I'd love to see one 'saunter casually' into a scene one day ) to save the day or if Helena will be able to get out of this herself. Kinda think it's odd that Oliver would be using a gun instead of his arrows. I can see why you did it for dramatic purposes but I still found it a little weird. Is it bad that I'm glad Emil's suffering? Awesome action scenes here, totally feeling the tension and excitement. The bomb in his neck though? Possibly a little far fetched but it works. Love Oliver's disappearing hero act at the hospital, made me laugh. God damn it Emil! Why do you have to be such an ass and kill everyone all the time? Don't know if that death scene was supposed to make a real impact because it didn't for me. Went a bit to fast in my opinion but still okay. Act five. Knew you wouldn't publish it Perry, not that kind of guy. I liked that scene between Chloe and Perry, really father/daughter like. Perry's not so subtle hints were kinda funny too. Great scene at the end there with Oliver watching the recoding and Chloe standing in the background. Fantastically written, i loved that scene so much Great episode overall Jack, I'm going to give it an 8.5/10. I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next episode, as usual |
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Post by MJ on Oct 5, 2010 20:38:56 GMT -6
Time to review 'Archer' I really enjoyed the opening scenes of this episode, the interaction between Chloe and Bruce was great. I felt you really captured the characters personalities in that scenes and the dialogue flowed beautifully. I should probably point out that between the teaser and act 1 Chloe's dress changed from green to red XD Oh, normally I don't like any scenes with Emil in them but his scenes in this episode I actually found really interesting. I think you did a really great job on them and I did enjoy those scenes a lot. Unfortunately the main plot of the episode involving the Archer I found a little underwhelming. I'm not sure if that was because I was really looking forward to the episode from spoilers and promos and my expectations were a little high or because of other things but either way I jut didn't find it all that exciting. That being said though, the confrontation between Bruce and Oliver and the end of the episode was really great. I loved seeing that confrontation finally happen and thought it was very well done. Not too over the top either, it was perfect. I also liked the Perry/Watchtower stuff too. I think I mentioned it in my review for the last episode but I love Perry so much more in small doses compared to when he has a major role in the episode. But yes, Perry bugging Chloe about the whole 'Watchtower' thing was great and I loved how Chloe tries to throw him off the scent without being really obvious about it too Glad to see Mia again too. It's a pity that she probably won't be in the second season because I'm loving her role as mini-watchtower, I think it's great Anyway, this episode I'm going to give an 8/10. Although the main plot fell a bit short in my eyes I loved almost everything else. Keep up the great work Jack and I can't wait to see next weeks episode |
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Post by MJ on Oct 3, 2010 5:34:58 GMT -6
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Post by MJ on Sept 29, 2010 21:14:14 GMT -6
Alright, time to review Watchtower's eighth episode 'Trial'. I'm going to start with saying that anything that appeared off with characters or storyline last episode was seemingly just a one episode thing because this episode is by far one of the best in the season. Also, I'm so glad you removed some of the side plots because I think any more than what was in the final episode would have made the episode a lot less effective as a whole. It's probably just my personal preference but I think dropping those extra sub-plots was a really good idea. One thing that's always bugged me about Watchtower is that there seems to be a million and one different story lines in each episode. That tends to make some of the episodes a little overwhelming but by pulling back a bit, like in this episode, I think everything suddenly has a lot more impact. So that's just something to think about Anyway, onto the rest of the episode XD I loved the Chloe/Bruce interaction in this episode. I love their friendship and some of the scenes between them, like the one where Bruce goes to Chloe to get her to help in finding Harvey, was a lot of fun. Chloe and Oliver were cute in this episode too. I know a lot of people like there to be lots of Chlollie scenes in the episode but I prefer their relationship as a bit more subtle. I think it makes their relationship a lot more mature and deeper so there was just the right amount of Chlollie in this episode to make me happy . I also enjoyed that Perry didn't really have his own big story line in this episode. I like Perry better when he's not in the spotlight and his interactions with Chloe in this episode were great. The introduction of Harvey and Jean was quite well done I think. The two of them in the trial scene were fantastic. In fact, that whole trial scene was really well written and I enjoyed it a lot. And Harvey becoming Two-Face was great. He was really creepy at the end there, can't wait to see if he pops up again in Watchtower. So, overall great episode. I'm going to give it a 9.5/10. In my opinion Trial is right up there with my other favourite episode of the season, 'Prey'. Great job Jack, can't wait to read next weeks episode |
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Post by MJ on Sept 26, 2010 20:27:38 GMT -6
I write all my scripts in Microsoft Word, you don't necessarily need any special software. I use the styles in word to set up things like slug lines, character names, dialogue etc. and it makes the script writing pretty easy. Sure, there's a few formatting issues every now and again but you can usually fix those up at the end and it still looks like a proper script. If you find you can't get your head around that Celtx software just let me know and I'll link you to the place where I downloaded an example script for word with the styles already done for you Sure www.scriptfrenzy.org/eng/howtoformatascreenplayAt the very bottom of that page they have a couple of downloadable word document which come pre-styled and explain how to format scripts in word. Hope it helps! |
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Post by MJ on Sept 22, 2010 21:51:33 GMT -6
Time for me to review Watchtower's seventh episode, 'Awakened' First up I think this was a pretty solid episode, sticking to the Watchtower episode format that we're getting used to and enjoy. The mid-season premiere definitely started off the second half of the season with a bang. Not only are we wrapping up the cliffhangers from the mid-season finale but we're getting some new questions introduced which I'm sure will make the second half of the season very interesting. I really liked Mia in this episode. I loved that she was left to 'hold the fort' and she seemed to take on the job really well in everyone's absence. She was almost like a mini-watchtower Having John Jones (aka. Martian Manhunter) in this episode was also really great. I'd be happy to have him pop by in future episodes because I love the dynamic between him and the rest of the Watchtower characters. I must say though, the whole Chloe/Emil storyline in this episode really didn't do it for me. I did love how Chloe put up a fight, throwing some punches at the guards was just a very 'Chloe' thing so kudos on having her so in-character, but the way that storyline was wrapped up I just didn't really enjoy. The way Emil gave her the metahuman powers and then was able to simply get rid of them again felt like a little but of a cop out to me. I would have loved to see the powers stay and Chloe having to learn to deal with having powers all over again. Also, for some reason I really didn't like Oliver in this episode. It could just be me but he didn't really sound like the Oliver we know from Smallville. I do know he was dealing with a lot at the start of the episode and therefore wouldn't have been acting totally like himself but even considering that I felt he was quite OOC in this episode. Just something to think about. Overall I think I'm going to give this episode 7.5/10. I wasn't my favourite episode but all up was a pretty solid instalment. A few of the story lines in this episode I didn't really like but I felt it was saved by a couple of characters who really stepped up and seemed to shine in this episode. Looking forward to where Watchtower goes with the second half of the season, it sounds like there's going to be a lot of interesting things happening in future episodes |
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Post by MJ on Sept 12, 2010 0:26:57 GMT -6
Exclusive:
Series creator, M. J. Calder, discusses Edge of Vision's first season  Though busy working on the first half of the season we’ve managed to catch up with Edge of Vision series creator M. J. Calder. After agreeing to answer a few of our questions we got the ball rolling by asking what inspired the creation of the supernatural crime series?
"Well I’ve always had an affinity for anything supernatural and I watch a lot of crime shows on tv so it’s not that big of a surprise that Edge of Vision turned out to be a supernatural crime series. Edge of Vision was originally supposed to be novel about a psychic who was trying to catch a killer with demonic blood. As you can see the story has come a long way since then but still has elements of that original idea all throughout and I’m much happier with where it is now."
Creating a semi-magical world doesn’t seem like an easy task. Did everything fall into place or was there a lot of work involved in creating the Edge of Vision universe?
"Surprisingly when creating the universe most things did fall into place quite easily for me; unfortunately it’s a lot harder to explain the world to people throughout the series than it is to create it in my head! There were some fiddly things that took a while to get straight but I’m fairly confident in the universe I’ve created. I’d love to share more but I have to keep most of it under wraps. You will find out a lot more about the mythology of Edge of Vision throughout the first season though."
You’ve stated before that Edge of Vision has a somewhat intricate plot that spans across a number of seasons. Just how many seasons do you have in mind?
"Currently? I’ve probably got at least five seasons worth of interconnecting plots and, hopefully, the show will run for that long. The main plot of season one actually flows through into season two and even has some relevance in season three. Each season has an underlying theme. The theme for season one is actually ‘chaos’ and deals a lot with introducing the Edge of Vision world to people but the major plot revolves around the demonic serial killer Vincent Reed. I’m very happy with the story revolving around Vincent Reed and Victoria Lance and I think readers will enjoy finding out why exactly he has his sights set on Tori. I’m fairly confident in saying that you’ll enjoy that plot and will warn you that it contains a lot of twists and turns."
You’ve said before that characters are very important to you. Are any of them inspired by real people that you know?
"I don’t believe any of the characters are completely based off family or friends but I’m sure there are elements of each character that I have unwittingly taken from people I know. In saying that though I also use parts of my own personality when creating these characters and that is very important to me. I want these characters to feel like real people, not just two-dimensional characters, and giving them very real parts of my own or others personalities helps them to resonate more with my viewers."
While on the subject of characters some people want to know what the first season has in store for each of the main characters. Are there any spoilers we can glean from you on that front?
"Well, I’m sure I can give away some tidbits to keep people interested! Those who have been lucky enough to view the pilot episode will know that there is an interesting confrontation between Lloyd, Victoria and our mysterious demonic killer Vincent Reed at the end of the first episode. I can let you know that the aftermath of this confrontation will play a big role in the development of Lloyd’s character over the rest of the season, though I’m not going to give away what happened.
Adam, who is somewhat sheltered from all the big, bad things that characters like Victoria and Shayne have to face, will find himself caught up in a case when his brother shows up at his door in what I’m sure will prove to be a fantastic episode.
Cassie will also find herself in a bit of trouble when she has a run in with a demon early on in the season.
Nora, the ‘mama bear’ as Cassie calls her, will have a tough time dealing with the politics surrounding Demons and the work the DCIU do this season. With that and trying to keep Victoria and Shayne in line you really have to feel sorry for her.
Now on to our main characters, Shayne and Victoria. Shayne this season is very much working to try prove himself to the other members of the DCIU. He has a bit of a rough start and spends a lot of the season trying to rectify this.
Victoria on the other hand is dealing with very different problems to the rest of the characters. Not only is she trying to keep a level head about the fact she is essentially the target of a demonic serial killer but she also has the stress of trying to deal with her developing Sensitive abilities. Her stories this season are full of twists and turns and hopefully, if I’ve done my job right, you’ll be on the edge of your seats wanting to find out how they end."
Another question we’ve be hearing a lot is if there’ll be any romance in the first season. So, are there any plans for a romance or two to pop up between some of the characters?
"I had a feeling that question would pop up and I’m sure my answer will disappoint some people. So far there are no plans for any kind of romantic relationship in the first half of season one. A lot of people are assuming there’ll be some kind of romance developing between Victoria and Shayne but I’m not so sure. I’m only talking about the first half of the season though so you never know what could happen. If the people are demanding a romance I may just have to consider it but we’ll see..."
So we’ve had some questions answered only to have many more arise. If we’re lucky we’ll be able to catch up with M.J. Calder again once the season has started airing with more questions and hopefully come back with more answers. |
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Post by MJ on Sept 11, 2010 19:15:37 GMT -6
I love the promo videos you make Jack, they make the whole virtual series experience that much more exciting! Looking forward to the rest of the season |
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Post by MJ on Sept 10, 2010 20:24:41 GMT -6
Official Episode Description:
1.06 Misguided Trust  Title: Misguided Trust Tagline: THE DEMONS ARE LEARNING QUICKLY HOW TO BEST CREATE CHAOS Description: It has been common knowledge ever since The Fracture that Demons like nothing better than to cause chaos but no one ever expected them to get creative. Tori (Deschanel) and Shayne (Szmanda) have their work cut out for them when a Demon manages to infiltrate a local government office and create panic in the city, and it looks like the DCIU is it's next target. Air Date: TBA Main Cast: Zooey Deschanel, Eric Szmanda, Paget Brewster, Isla Fisher, John Francis Daley and Michael Chiklis. Guest Star(s): TBA Writer(s): M.J. Calder |
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Post by MJ on Sept 7, 2010 5:48:00 GMT -6
Official Episode Description:
1.05 In Too Deep  Title: In Too Deep Tagline: A CASE HITS A LITTLE TO CLOSE TO HOME FOR CASSIE Description: When Dr. Cassie Brewer (Fisher) is asked to conduct a research-based autopsy on the body of a Demon she's more than happy to comply. That is, until she's taken hostage by another Demon who wants something their dead Demon had. Can she get a message out to Tori (Deschanel) and Shayne (Szmanda) in time or will her life ironically end in her own morgue? Air Date: TBA Main Cast: Zooey Deschanel, Eric Smanda, Paget Brewster, Isla Fisher and John Francis Daley. Guest Star(s): TBA Writer(s): M.J. Calder |
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Post by MJ on Sept 5, 2010 19:10:02 GMT -6
Hmm, so before I finish up the episode guide I was wondering if anyone was interested in a writers position on Welcome to the Snake Pit (if it does get picked up)? As much as I love this idea Edge of Vision takes up a lot of time because of the intricate plot but with one or two other writers working with me on Snake Pit I'm pretty sure I'd be able to handle them both fairly easy. The reason I'm offering the writers positions on Snake Pit is that there's no huge underlying storyline that needs to be adhered to when writing. The episodes a very stand alone and it would be easy to have another writer help out without disrupting the flow of the show. How many episodes you want to write is mostly up to you so if your interested don't worry about being forced to do a specific number of episodes, you can just do as many as your are comfortable with So, if you want the job or just want to talk a bit more about it post here or drop me a message. I'll be happy to hear from anyone interested |
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