Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 25, 2012 18:03:35 GMT -6
Episode Summaries complete! Most characters casted!
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 25, 2012 17:37:59 GMT -6
I know it's so far only a pitch (and pilot) but I'm having a lot of trouble casting "Gramma Simmonds" .
She's one of the main character's grandmothers so obviously she would have to look mature. Preferably, I would also like her to look tough but wise. She would also have to be able to pass off as Hispanic or Latina.
EDIT: CASTED
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 25, 2012 17:13:33 GMT -6
I haven't got time for a full review at the moment and I know, again, this is behind but loved episode 2!
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 17, 2012 14:24:53 GMT -6
I agree with MJ, it was so fun and it just woke up then and i was like "gahhh, i forgot a theme song, and this and that" ^_^. So I'll probably be modifying it here and there before the deadline.
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 14, 2012 11:56:31 GMT -6
Black City a virtual series created by Connor J. Jones PREMISE The City of Barkley is one of the most crime-ridden cities in the whole of the western world. Murders, muggings, burglaries, assaults leave the residents either as tough as nails or full blown criminals. But it’s also probably the only place, where the Police Force could be more corrupted than the actual criminals. Nobody knows why so many of these crimes go unsolved and without fair justice, even the cops themselves. One night, Officer Hunt Whitfield saves a man from a mysterious attack where the mugger disappears without a trace. This sets him on a mysterious trail to find the culprit that leads him to a shocking discovery: not only are the heads of the force ignoring the crimes, it seems they may be trying to cover up a number of strange cases. Corruption, Lust, Greed and Lies are discovered on the road to clarity. And when he finds the attacker, he discovers that they may know more about the city than he does himself. CHARACTERSOfficer Hunt Whitfield portayed by Josh Dallas Hunt Whitfield works as a Police Officer for the Barkley Police Department. He is confident, street-smart and instinctive. Most of his colleagues agree that in their city, these qualities are needed not only to work well, but to survive. He tries to not let his job take over his life, but his strong moral sense often stands in the way. His best friend is Detective Lori Brown, who works on the force with him. One night, after receiving a report of a mugging, he races to the scene only to find the victim attacked in a strange way. He appears more ill and tired than injured. And the attacker has disappeared.
On his way to find the criminal, he discovers that the Police Force could have deadly connections with people more dangerous than simple mob bosses. And when he finds out, that an innocent in one his cases, is the attacker in the mysterious assault, he discovers she may know more than it seems.
Kim Dorset portayed by Rachel Skarsten
Kim Dorset works as a stripper at the local strip club, The Scarlet Heart. She’s cunning, sharp-tongued and her beautiful looks seem too good to be true. She previously worked as a prostitute before upgrading into what she sees as a “less exciting demotion”. So, why did she become a stripper? More customers. Kim isn’t just inhuman in her personality, she is literally. Kim is a one of the shady creatures that scour Barkley. Kim needs to leech sexual energy in order to live.
Hunt runs into Kim during a gun raid on the strip club where he discovers she may know about the mysterious dealing occurring within the Police Force. A later chain of appearances, and he discovers that the raid on The Scarlet Heart may not have been the first time he and Kim met.
Inspector Lori Brown portayed by Shiri Appleby
Lori Brown is detective for the Barkley Police Department. She is intelligent, inquisitive and quirky but something seems to haunt her that no one can discover. She is Hunt’s childhood best friend and they both work on the police force together. A few years ago she was shot during an investigation that left her mentally scarred and with a strong fear of gun attacks. She was told to leave the force but stayed strong against all odds. She hasn’t been the same since the accident and she fears she may be losing her mind.
Officer Josh Parks portayed by Chris Pine
Josh Parks used to be the best officer for the Barkley Police Department, and the only person close to besting him was friend and partner, Hunt Whitfield. But after failing too many cases, the fun-loving, optimistic man snapped and spiralled into drug use, a lack of morality and became mentally unstable. Aggressive and anti-social, many people wonder what happened to Josh and what could’ve have caused a good man to become so evil.
Captain Max Pierce portayed by Victor Webster
Max Pierce is a mysterious, remorseless, ruthless man. He is the head of the BPD and doesn’t seem to care about the countless victims of crime across the city. He is caught by Hunt in negotiations with evil and shadowy people.
PREMISE
1.01- City of Sins
Officer Hunt Whitfield rushes to the scene of a strange attack, where upon investigation he discovers a shocking negotiation in place between Captain of the police force and a mysterious figure. And when trying to find the attacker, Hunt finds they may know more than he does. After supervising a gun raid, Lori Brown has a nervous breakdown.
1.02- Angels and Demons
After crossing paths again with Kim, Hunt realises she may not be as normal as she seems. Officer Josh Parks gets into trouble with a drug dealer and Lori remembers an unnerving detail about the night she was shot.
1.03- Witnesses and Prosecutors
When the victim of Kim’s attack, shares his experience with Hunt, his gets his final piece of the puzzle to her identity. Kim reveals to Hunt what she knows about the city. Lori finds disturbing signs in a case and Josh performs a terrible act.
THEME SONG
(the first verse and chorus)
CREATOR NOTES
My genres were Police Drama and Horror. I envision this vs as gritty and realistic all the while with some dark supernatural elements. It would have about 9/10 episodes a season with an 45-52 mins in length for each episode. It would have mature elements and if I were to give it a real life network I’d say HBO, Showtime etc.
Season One’s storylines would be Hunt discovering Kim’s secret and uncovering the mysteries of the town’s system, Lori discovering who shot her and the devastating consequences. And the audience discovering the change to Josh.
This entry was my first MOTM and it was so fun to do. I hope you like it too.
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 12, 2012 13:19:00 GMT -6
I have my basic premise and two of my main characters. Just thinking about casting and everything.
But this has been so fun!
EDIT: The only thing I'm worried about, is without the characters being known my premise sounds really cliche (at least to me :S)
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 10, 2012 10:41:01 GMT -6
This pitch sounds really amazing and you've captured both elements clearly and well! You should seriously consider developing this as a vs, i would definitely read it!
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 9, 2012 9:09:20 GMT -6
Oh my god, both these pitches are so awesome! This competition is gonna be so hard!
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 2, 2012 10:32:17 GMT -6
I was just wondering what are the different ways people outline episodes or vs? Do you make a detailed page of the plot? a paragraph? or do you have a template that you follow?
why not provide an example?
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 2, 2012 10:14:53 GMT -6
Okay, could I have Police Drama & Horror (Like combining CSI: Miami with American Horror Story)
please?
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Oct 1, 2012 12:32:02 GMT -6
I really wanna enter this but it looks like I'm too late because there's no way i could do comedy/military drama because I can't write comedy and no NOTHING about military drama.  |
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 29, 2012 15:29:49 GMT -6
Okay, I know I'm kinda late on this, but I just read the first episode and wow. So, well here we go. Audition| 1x01- We Have Arrived| ReviewFirst off, the opening scene is amazing. You jump quickly into the story and explain lots whilst still making it seem natural so congrats on that. And straight away you get the personalities of Alex and Michael. Hehehe Alex is so impatient. Alisha also seems like a nice character and she's really sweet. Gosh, I think I might already have a favourite character within 5 pages. I don't know if you intended it to but even though I knew little about it, the mention of Alex's mum's death and the reactions made me choke up a little. So well done on that  (or then again, I could just be a wuss but the first option is more likely). Haha, again with Alex's impatience later on, gosh that boy needs to wait a little. And that end was stunning, I love Paula's awkwardness and she seems really great. The end with Alex and Paula acting crazy with Michael and Alisha just following behind slowly came off pretty funny. Overall I can't fault this. Great writing style and flow. Great characters. Great pilot. 10/10 ;D |
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 29, 2012 14:28:15 GMT -6
As a a person who used to hate hate ALL comedies (now i just hate most ha ) i was really suprised when i accidentally came across this and loved it! Starting with the pilot I've just found this show really funny and the characters are amazing. I've become addicted to this show! Since this show, I've learned to not judge a show by it's genre and now I love so many more comedies (and science fiction but thats another story) |
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 29, 2012 10:56:39 GMT -6
Recurring character Ryan Parker cast. Character summaries complete. Episode summaries 1-7 completed.
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 27, 2012 10:55:23 GMT -6
If we have to put up with another season of the Damon/Elena/Stefan love triangle, I'm going to scream. I get that the dynamic will clearly shift now, and they introduced the fact that Damon did indeed meet Elena first, but man, the triangle just makes me hate Damon, hate Elena, and wish Stefan would go Ripper on both their asses. I don't understand how Damon can be so infatuated with his brother's girlfriend. And if he still holds a flame for her- even after she chose Stefan over him- then I'm going to lose all faith in that character. ...secretly hoping for a Bonnie-packed season. I think she's taking a darker turn that looks reeeeeally interesting. And I'm hoping we get more Bonnie/Damon stuff. I think that dynamic is one of my favourites, and if we get to see a friendship develop, or even just a trust, I'll be happy. But yeah, S2 made me understand Damon, and like him- then S3 took a piss all over that. I'm hoping S4 repairs the damage. XD I completely agree with you Jack, the show has been dominated by the love triangle and all the relationships. It's become too soppy. They cut/wreck all the good storylines (Jeremy's powers, Bonnie's mother, and if i'm honest that was about it for s3), and leave SOME storylines for too long until they've just become too manipulated and held onto for so long, I gave up taking them seriously. *cough*Originals *cough*. I've given up watching this show in full and will only watch the clips with Bonnie in (my favourite character) and possibly Phoebe Tonkin's character. This show used to be one of my favourites but now it it just dissapoints me. It's gone from horror to leaning on fantasy. From drama to just plain needlessly over-the-top. And the show used to be emotional but now it's just plain cheesy. |
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 25, 2012 10:02:42 GMT -6
Thanks everyone !! |
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 23, 2012 9:27:04 GMT -6
and make the villagers watch Gossip Girl which
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Connor J. J
VPN Community Member
Poor Ryan, your life is so bad. Having to to decide: where should I buy coffee for the crap shack?
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Post by Connor J. J on Sept 23, 2012 7:50:23 GMT -6
It's my birthday!
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(or then again, I could just be a wuss but the first option is more likely). 