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Post by Jack Malone on Jan 25, 2013 2:22:35 GMT -6
Thanks for the review, Darrin. I haven't been online to get a response done right away, but I'm finally home, in front of my computer, and ready to go through this awesome review you left for us. I'm intrigued by Jeremy and I really hope we get a backstory from him. Clearly he's human, he's wounded, bleeding, but that doesn't stop him from being a badass and taking out some Vamps. Jeremy was a character that was simply going to be used for the mysterious, kind of "begin with a bang" opener, but we decided to delve deeper into who he was, and what he was up to prior to his death. That will be looked at in the second episode, penned by Chris, which is r eeeeally good. So you'll see a bit more of Jeremy, despite the fact he died in the sequence/series opener. What happened to Alyson's mother is a big drive for her character, and a huge chunk of her role on the show will be about finding those answers, and figuring out what exactly happened to her, who is responsible, etc. It was important to set that up in the first episode, because its so much of what fuels her actions. The Chief is someone who pops up here and there, and he just had to have a moustache, right? It makes him more badass, lmao! You had me worried for a second that the wrong draft of the script was released, then. I didn't put "flashback" on the scene headings originally, having forgotten, and Chris was just as confused. But, yeah, we fixed that for the final draft- thank god Chris had pointed it out, because I had completely forgotten about indicating it as such. We were a bit worried about doing the flashbacks in the first episode, but I think they really helped introduce Alyson's character, and worked well in the end. Hahaha. That's definitely the question we want you to be asking. More and more clues spill out as the arc progresses. At that point, the Chief would be more concerned about losing more of his men than what information this crazed guy carrying a gun holds. As I said, you'll see more of him as the sequence plays out, and while Chris and I don't really have a "solid" outline for him, in terms of a specific storyline, or a number of episodes, because he's part of Alyson's world, you can expect him to keep popping up here and there- with purpose, of course. The connection between Alyson and James is something that is going to be looked at, and hinted at, in coming episodes. The main idea of these first two episodes was perspective- this one, obviously, was shown through the eyes of Alyson as we were introduced to her world, and the following episode is through the eyes of James, as we are introduced to his world. By the third episode, these worlds merge. Hahaha, thanks man. We really appreciate the feedback, and hope you enjoy future episodes. Chris knocks it out of the park in the second episode (you can expect that with all his episodes, if I'm being honest) and we have at least one other major player to introduce in this arc that you should enjoy, and more clues to these questions you've raised. Thanks for the review, I apologise for my really crummy attempt at a response. Gold star for trying, though, hahaha. XD |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2013 13:44:15 GMT -6
REVIEW - 1.02 "Bringer of Light"I actually read this last night but I was so tired that I thought I would hold off 'til today to review. Okay, so here we go. First, I was pleasantly surprised by where the story started. I thought it would take place after the events of 1.01 but instead took place before but from James' perspective. The awkward flirtation with the waitress made me chuckle. In no way did he give her any impression he was interested but she assumed. I had to laugh. I love that we got to see Jeremy again. I found him quite interesting in 1.01, and I was secretly hoping he was still alive but as we find out later on it was in fact his body in the alley.  I really hope we get flashbacks or something explaining more about him and how he knows James. Obviously they're friends but how does a half bred vamp and a human become friends? There's those mobster looking vamps again. Clearly they've been waiting for these two to meet up. Oooooh, Old-World. I like that. I love this sunlight orb, Light Bringer. It kind of reminds me of a relic from Indiana Jones, or Tomb Raider. Very cool. It's nice to see more than your conventional vamp battling weapons. The subway battle scene was pretty awesome. I love how these vampires are not exactly hiding in the shadows. It's clear that humans don't really know of them, but they know not to screw with a guy with fangs Lol. I'll give props to the man who tries to break up the fight Lol. "Checking in" interesting. Do all vamps have to check in, or just James because he's "unnatural"? I like how we end where we ended in 1.01. James recognizes something familiar about Alyson. What is this connection? Is she who he's been looking for? And if not, who is this mystery woman? All-in-all another great episode. The imagery was great, the characters are interesting. I look forward to some more Hellbound. 
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Post by Jamison on Feb 1, 2013 14:48:50 GMT -6
REVIEW - 1.02 "Bringer of Light"I actually read this last night but I was so tired that I thought I would hold off 'til today to review. Okay, so here we go. First, I was pleasantly surprised by where the story started. I thought it would take place after the events of 1.01 but instead took place before but from James' perspective. Thanks for reading and reviewing Darrin! Yes, Jack and I thought it was important to introduce both Alyson and James thoroughly as individuals before moving their story as a duo forward, hence why the second episode told the same story as the first, but from James' point of view. James is half vampire-half human. The whole show is about him longing for human connection due to the fact that he despises the monster within him. He's had many human companions over the years, and he's lost many as well. I'm not sure on if we'll be seeing Jeremy again, as James will be reaching out to Alyson to fill Jeremy's shoes, but this is a supernatural world. Anything is possible. I love the term "vampire mobsters." These vampires are technically just errand boys for the Vampire Order or just "The Order," a vampire community or government, which we found out that James used to be a part of. More information about them will be revealed in the following episodes and they'll be explored even further during arc two. Stakes, swords, crossbows; all that will be used, but we thought it was important to establish our own mythology for this show, and it's been so fun thinking of new ways to tell a vampire story. Magic is definitely a part of this universe. I hope to introduce even more artifacts as the series goes on. A lot of this stuff will be further explored in sequence two, I'm sure, even though Jack and I haven't begun the planning stages for that. Vampires in this world act sort of like "werewolf packs" in the sense that they operate best as a unit. There are not many lone vamps out there, and with James being the only hybrid vampire in the world, that we know of, the vampire community is even more interested in his whereabouts and how he spends his time. You're asking all the right questions, and it's getting hard for me to dodge some stuff without spoiling everything! HAHA! But, more will be revealed in the coming episodes!  Haha! There's one of the biggest mystery's of the show. How do Alyson and James know one another. The answer will be hinted at a few times in arc one, but we won't reveal anything until later down the line. However, I'll say that their connection is not as sunshine and daisies as it will appear to be. Thanks for reading, Darrin! So glad you enjoyed the episode, and I can't wait to see what you think of the rest of the arc! xD |
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Ms. Kerry
VPN Community Member
Fight the good fight, Tony, I hate nap time too.
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Post by Ms. Kerry on Feb 3, 2013 21:58:24 GMT -6
Review Hellbound 1x01 - Whispers in the Dark
As promised I read the pilot for this series and I have to say it was a pretty decent way to start the series. The beginning with Jeremy was my favorite part of the whole thing. I'd read a serious about that guy alone. For Real....sadly he is dead.
With the introduction of Alyson I am go to again commend on casting. I think you two picked some great actors to play your characters. I was a little disappointed when we first meet her because it seemed like the typical rogue cop who gets in trouble sort of thing. However, I am extremely intrigued by the stuff with her mom. I am reserving my feelings on this character until I see more. I think she will grow on me.
Very little is done with James here and I definitely want to see more with him since he obviously plays a key role in the series. I am certainly going to keep up with the series to see how it unfolds because while I have my reservations about this eppy I know it is only 12 pages and I have the feeling it is going to shift into something extremely creative and new. Good work guys. Second review coming soon.
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Ms. Kerry
VPN Community Member
Fight the good fight, Tony, I hate nap time too.
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Post by Ms. Kerry on Feb 3, 2013 22:17:06 GMT -6
Review - Hellbound - 1x02 Bringer of Light
I love the opening here with James. the descriptions are very nice and I can visualize everything fairly well. It is good seeing him when he wasn't in the pilot episode.
JEREMY IS BACK and I am thrilled. What can I say? XD.
The exchange between these two friends is wonderful. I wish he hadn't died. DANGIT GUYS WHY? I want to see more of him ARG!
Oooh I really wanna know the "her" James is searching for. So many mysteries in these opening episodes.
And now we know what the orb was. A light bringer, very apt considering the title of the episode. We have some nicely written fighting going on here with James and Neil, nothing to complain about in that scene at all.
And now we know why James is different from the rest of the vampires and why they don't get along. They brought up she again. I wanna know the she!
Poor James didn't get to Jeremy in time...but he is able to save Alyson, which is good. I hope to see a fun relationship and friendship there since I am robbed of Jeremy...I'm seriously not forgiving you guys.
This second episode I absolutely loved. I liked seeing things from James' perspective and it moved very smoothly. Great pacing and great descriptions. It answered some questions and opened up more. I am excited for the next episode. Great Job you guys!!
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Post by Jamison on Feb 4, 2013 12:48:16 GMT -6
Review Hellbound 1x01 - Whispers in the Dark
As promised I read the pilot for this series and I have to say it was a pretty decent way to start the series. The beginning with Jeremy was my favorite part of the whole thing. I'd read a serious about that guy alone. For Real....sadly he is dead. I really liked Jeremy in the first episode as well, which is part of the reason why we decided to bring him back when we featured James in episode two. I thought it was cool how Jack set up the mystery of his character and his connection to James and the vampire world, and it was cool to get to expand on that in episode two. Sadly, he does die, but hopefully you won't' feel as sad when you meet another character from James' past, who'll be introduced in the next few episodes. Alyson was let go as a detective for being too attached to the case, which compromises not only her life, but the lives of her colleagues as well. Even though she understands why she was fired, it doesn't stop her from looking for the person she believes killed her own mother and so many other innocents over the years. That leads her to James, and from that point on, we'll see another side to her character. Episode one was set to tell one story from Alyson's perspective, while episode two tells the same story from James' perspective. So, hopefully you enjoy both, because Jack and I tried hard to make them work together. |
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Post by Jamison on Feb 4, 2013 12:59:34 GMT -6
Review - Hellbound - 1x02 Bringer of LightI love the opening here with James. the descriptions are very nice and I can visualize everything fairly well. It is good seeing him when he wasn't in the pilot episode. Thanks for reading and reviewing, first of all! I always worry as I write, that I'm not putting enough description into my scenes. I'm too busy with the dialogue, but I'm glad you were able to visualize everything okay! We're sorry!! Jeremy was meant to be that sort of "one door closes, another one opens" kinda deal, with James losing him and finding Alyson. I don't think he actually wants to replace Jeremy, and I'm thinking we'll see him grieve more about his death some time in the future, though he's a vampire and is very good at keeping his emotions in check. It may mean waiting a while before we mention his name again. That's something that's going to frustrate you throughout this episode arc. HAHA! We mention "she" or "her" in every episode leading up the arc finale, but we never let you know exactly who she is. We do know that she is someone dear from James' past, and we also find out that she shares a connection to Adam, a vampire James turned about one hundred years ago. Fight scenes are not my forte. I try to make them as simple as possible, but sometimes I can really get into one and it turns out okay. (I think my best was the Valentina vs. Pamela. haha!) Seeing as this is a show about vampires, and other supernatural forces, we'll be getting to do a lot more action. Thanks soo much, Kerry! So glad you're enjoying the series so far, and hopefully you continue to enjoy it as we releases more episodes! |
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Post by MJ on Feb 6, 2013 0:12:15 GMT -6
Okay, so I read the first twi episode of Hellbound the other day after some effort, as my computer seems to hate the font you used for the title/credits and it takes me forever to scroll through just those first couple of pages XD Anyway, onto the reviews! 1.01 Whispers in the DarkFirst off, I have to agree with everyone else with saying it's a shame that Jeremy get's killed off in the first part of the first episode. He seemed really interesting and props for getting us attached to a character who really isn't in the episode for very long XD I loved the description of the Chief too. Like, you got a really clear image of exactly what he looked like from the descriptors given and I loved that. Alyson is very full on for a cop/ex-cop. Like, impersonating another officer so she can keep investigating just shows you how attached she is to this, how determined to find answers. It gives her a very desperate feel, like she will literally do anything to get to the answers for this, and that's a pretty exciting thought. Also, 'Melanie Faye', haha, it's always weird reading my name in a script XD Oh, and the introduction of James was good. Very mysterious, and the possibility of them being connected somehow from the way Alyson reacted has my interest peaked. Anyway, pretty strong opener and it got me interested enough to keep reading so awesome job! 1.02 Bringer of LightSo we finally get a better introduction to James, and I actually really like his character! Just the way he speaks and acts, his characterisation in general is really entertaining to me. And more Jeremy! You make me like him even more only for his inevitable death to happen again XD I really liked the fight scene in the subway too, I could totally picture it all happening. I also love the tidbits of vampire culture we're getting throw thought this episode, enough for us to start getting a picture but not so much that it's like an info dump. And we finally get back to where we ended last episode. I really liked that, how we were shown the same thing from two different points of view and all the events that lead the both of them to that alley at that time. It's got a very 'fate' kinda feel to it. But overall I really enjoyed this episode too. What I love about Hellbound though is the way you've told us two full stories in only ten pages each. Like, I feel as if I've read a full length episode even though it's actually a fifth of the size. Nothing has been sacrificed in light of the short page count and THAT, everyone, is what a webisode should be like, so take notes! lol If I had any criticisms so far it would be that some of the action lines/descriptions seemed a little too descriptive. As in, there's creative description and then there's just over the top for the sake of trying to do something fancy. That said though, I did really enjoy these first two episodes and I am definitely looking forward to the new episode! |
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Post by Jamison on Feb 6, 2013 15:27:12 GMT -6
Okay, so I read the first twi episode of Hellbound the other day after some effort, as my computer seems to hate the font you used for the title/credits and it takes me forever to scroll through just those first couple of pages XD Anyway, onto the reviews! Sorry about the font! It actually caused a few problems for me the other day as well. Weird. It never used to. But you gotta admit, it is kinda awesome  Thanks for reading/reviewing the episodes, MJ! Now, to my response ... I think Jack did such a great job introducing his character. He was just so bad ass in the pilot, even though he did die. I personally didn't think so many people would get attached to his character. I guess you never really know how readers will react to certain things, which is making me consider talking to Jack about possibly bringing the character back at some point, either in flashbacks, hallucinations, or maybe even as a ghost. haha! But, it may or may not happen! I pictured Chi McBride as the Chief when I read Jack's description of him. LOL I wonder if that was the same for anybody else I really love your word choice there; "Desperate," because that's exactly what she is. She lost her mom at a young age to these attacks, and she'll stop at nothing to find the killer(s) responsible. It's very personal for her, and I think that's a huge aspect of her story arc in future episodes. Hehe. And, hehe, I didn't even notice that we used your name for her character until now. Haha! Sorry for giving you the creeps The mysterious connection between James and Alyson will be something we'll touch on a little bit in each episode. We won't actually find out what that connection is until later down the line, but it won't be something that's strung out just for the hell of it. You'll get answers where it counts, and hopefully you'll be satisfied when everything does come to a head! Jack did a great job with the pilot, me thinks. Glad you agree! XD I'm glad you're liking James so far! Jack did such a great job introducing Alyson's character and really capturing her personality, I really wanted to do the same for James. For most of arc one (besides the finale, I believe), the major scenes involving Alyson have been written by Jack, and the major scenes involving James are written by me. We didn't mean for it to go that way, but I guess that's just how it worked out. haha So, hopefully everything stays consistently good in the next few episodes. Jeremy is back! Yes. Like most of you, I really liked his character in the pilot, so I wanted to do something more with him because eventually having to kill him...again. Hahaha! Like I said before, if a situation calls for him to come back in some way, shape or form, maybe Jack and I can work something out. I'm always quite frightened about writing action scenes. Funny, because mostly everything I choose to write has some sort of action in it, but that's beside the point. haha! I'm so glad you were able to visualize it well enough. As for the vampire culture, it will continue to be slowly developed throughout each episode, **SPOILERS** and I think it all leads up to episode 6, where the final character played by none other than Kate Beckinsale is introduced to us! I'm excited to see how people react to that. The next episode will jumpstart their journey as a duo, so that should be exciting to see! It's fate, but is it for better or for worse? We still don't know. That's pretty much the goal. Hellbound is both me and Jack's first crack at producing webisode scripts, and we're glad we've been successful, so far, with telling a full story with much shorter page count. Hopefully we can keep it up! I'll be sure to keep my eyes open to that, MJ. Thanks for reading and reviewing the show! Here's hoping you enjoy the rest of arc/sequence! XD |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2013 15:38:36 GMT -6
REVIEW - 1.03 "A Picture Paints A Thousand Words"Once again a solid episode. This one was different than the first two for me because it felt more like a slow burn than a big bang, which is not a bad thing at all. In fact the first few scenes gave a "calm before the storm" feel. I really loved the description of the painting. It really did give a feeling of loss and even despair. I liked that. I love the archaic battle weaponry we've got going on. I'm curious as to who this intruder is and why they have James so thrown. Alyson's curiosity is going to be the death of her Lol. I love that James has a bedroom with no coffin... or was this someone else's bedroom? Hm. I was wondering when that vamp would show up. So many vamp mytho's given here. They can see memories through drinking blood and the shadowed/floating thing (I don't know what exactly to call that Lol but I love it). In fact I love the whole mythos of it. I was actually shocked by the ending. I seriously thought James would of been there to save the day. Nicely done. Well, I clearly don't need to tell you gentlemen I am hooked. Can't wait til next week!!
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Post by Jamison on Feb 6, 2013 15:45:05 GMT -6
Wow, that was fast. HAHA!! Again, I'm gonna let Jack give the first response to this episode, but omg, thanks for reading so fast! XD Three episodes remaining for arc one. I wrote episodes 4 and 5 with Jack penning the OUTSTANDING finale episode. This is going by way quicker than I imagined, but still, can't wait to hear what you all think about the back half of arc one. Sh-t gets real. lmfao!
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Post by Jack Malone on Feb 7, 2013 5:36:03 GMT -6
REVIEW - 1.03 "A Picture Paints A Thousand Words"Once again a solid episode. This one was different than the first two for me because it felt more like a slow burn than a big bang, which is not a bad thing at all. In fact the first few scenes gave a "calm before the storm" feel. Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing this episode in particular, because there was more 'action' than dialogue, and that's not usually my strong point, so it was quite challenging. Just thankful these are only 10-page episodes we're dealing with, haha. The way we structured these first four episodes, is that we start with perspective pieces, being introduced to Alyson's world first, then James', and this one had a lot to do with Alyson being on the verge of being sucked into his world, and running from it. Being scared away from it. The next episode, written BRILLIANTLY by Chris, really sort of throws the question at her of being ready to step into the world he is a part of, and be able to cope. So there's a pretty nice pattern we wanted to set up as these two characters' paths crossed. The painting definitely kind of describes both Alyson and James in this moment of their lives, in that "Whoever was taken from [them], it took [their] world with it." I thought it would be interesting to open with a photograph that kind of serves as an ice breaker for the two, because it says so much about their situation and breaks down Alyson's walls too, so she can let him in. Chris and I spent quite a lot of time trying to figure out what would be inside this "base", and the weapons, the rooms, etc. Speaking of Chris, when you come to meet the intruder, you've got to love them. That's an order, haha. But nah, its a character that I'm hellbent on Chris purely writing because he does it so good, and they're both our favourite character, so that's definitely the biggest thing to look forward to for next week's episode. XD Hahaha, in a lot of ways, we don't want Alyson to be a "damsel in distress" character, because that doesn't really suit her, or the kind of lead female character we want for the show. However, on the other side of things, she's only learned how to be strong and survive in the world she's familiar with- being a detective, apprehending criminals, etc. Pulling her into James' world, and having bits and pieces of new information unravel in front of her that she's never stumbled across before really throws her off, and she hasn't learned how to adapt to that yet. So, for this, she kind of succumbs to the "girl that runs away" because she hasn't figured out any other way to react to, you know, vampires, specifically. Another long discussion about the mythology of "Hellbound" and its vampires took place for a long while before we came to any conclusions, and we really looked at what we liked in movies/tv, and what we didn't. Its a lot of fun kind of starting these well-known "monsters" from scratch, and building up how they work in this show, and our world, etc. There's a lot more in future episodes to look forward to. Its nice to hear you like what they're capable of so far, though. XD Aw, thanks Darrin! We love writing this show, its a lot of fun, and I'm over the moon that Chris and I were finally able to launch a show we worked on together. We've had so many different attempts in the past, that haven't gone through, but we're happy we ended up with this one. Your reviews are very much appreciated, and we hope you like what's to come. The next two episodes are written by Chris, and we all know how awesome his work is, and #4 and #5 are really epic. So I hope you enjoy the rest of the arc as much as you have the first half! Thanks again, man. XD |
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Post by Brady Brown on Feb 9, 2013 10:01:31 GMT -6
REVIEW: 1.01 "Whispers In the Dark"
So, it's time for me to get my arse in gear, AND READ SOME HELLBOUND. Ugh, I don't even know why I haven't read it yet. Maybe it's aliens, I don't know -- Okay. Stop with the excuses, Brady. REVIEW TIME, ENGAGE.
Aw. Poor Jeremy. And then not so poor Jeremy. And then poor Jeremy again. I. DON'T. EVEN. KNOW. Yeah, I'm curious. I must know how/what this ORB thing does what it does/is/how the frack did he get it?! Questions, questions, questions.
Alyson isn't someone I'm entirely sold on yet. Sure, I like her 'must-find-out-the-truth' attitude, but I feel like we didn't get to know her as much as we could have. Being a webisode, I just would have liked a tad bit more of her, but I'm certain we'll see more of her in the next episode. But, like I said, her not giving up style has intruiged me, and I'm curious as to where her story is heading, AND WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO HER MOTHER.
So, yeah, pretty awesome first episode. Looooved the writing and imagery that was given, but am still not 100% sold on Alyson. More like 85%. XD ALMOST THERE. But yeah, I shall be back reading more, just don't know when. Maybe later today. No promises though. XD
9/10
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Post by MJ on Feb 18, 2013 22:46:49 GMT -6
So, finally got around to doing the reviews for Hellbound 3 and 4 and here they are Hellbound 1x03 "A Picture Paints A Thousand Words" ReviewFirst up, omg that stupid ass font is gonna be the death of me, haha! I don't know why my computer hates it so much. But yeah, that doesn't really relate to the episode at all, just thought I'd write something while I wait for it to load the font so I can keep scrolling XD Okay, don't really want to start on a negative point but I want to point this out before I forget: watch the grammar when you're writing and keep an eye out for it when you're editing. There's a couple of instances I found on the first page where you've used 'ing' on the end of a word when it should have been 'ed' for example. Oh, I have a question too: Is the art gallery abandoned as in there's no people there now? Or abandoned as in closed up, no one uses it anymore, etc? Just because I'd find it hard to believe someone would abandon and art gallery but leave the artwork inside it. Unless James owns all the art, because that would explain a lot XD That said, I do love the imagery of this large, dark art gallery. It seems kinda spooky, a good feel for series involving vampires I really like how each episode focuses on a different characters point of view. Like, here we're seeing things mostly though Alyson's eyes again, and she doesn't know what James' deal is, but because we got to see things through his eyes in the last episode we do. It's a pretty cool way of storytelling and it's probably one of my fav aspects of the series. This is set in America, right? Just because Alyson saying 'mum' instead of 'mom' seems kinda weird if that is the case. I don't normally worry to much about differences like that in action lines/description or if it sounds the same phonetically even if it's spelt different, but the mum/mom thing really stands out to me in this case. I like the juxtaposition of James' intense 'fight' scene and Alyson's quiet unravelling of some of the mystery surrounding James. Another thing to note: It's said the vampire's (the one who nabs Alyson at the park) fangs are 'withdrawn'. Do you mean they're out or are they retracted? Because the scene gives me the impression they would be out, but the word 'withdrawn' implies they're not. Wow, Alyson, so quick to sell out the guy who saved you from being chucked in jail XD Though, to be fair, she probably thinks he's a serial killer or something at this point, lol. Okay, the last page or so between Alyson and the vampire seems, for lack of a better term, very rape-y. I'm not sure if it was intentional but I just though I should let you know that as a female reader it made me a little uncomfortable. Like I said, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but if it wasn't intentional perhaps keeping an eye on word choices and how the action plays out is a good idea. Okay, summing up: I think I might prefer James as a character, but I by no means hate Alyson! I think I preferred the first two episode to this one too, but 'A Picture Paints A Thousand Words' was still pretty good. Again, I like the way I feel like I'm getting a proper story out of each episode, despite the fact that they're only ten pages long, so props for that! I'm quite eager to see where Hellbound is heading and I'll definitely be staying on as a reader Also, I've read episode 4 so a review for that will be posted shortly after this one |
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Post by Jack Malone on Feb 19, 2013 1:44:29 GMT -6
So, finally got around to doing the reviews for Hellbound 3 and 4 and here they are Yay! Always love your reviews, MJ. XD Hahaha. I love the font so much, but. It sucks that your computer hates it, I reckon it looks pretty snazzy for the first two pages- the title/cast. None of the episodes I've written have been 'edited', so these are straight from being complete, to being uploaded to show one another the episode. I noticed that too when I read it back, once the episode was released, but with the few instances it occurred, I didn't really bother re-uploading. The first episode I wrote, and the finale I wrote, should have less errors, purely because they were studied more closely while I was writing it, and after completing them, but I don't recall going through an editing process with this one. Well the picture in particular says a lot about James, and where he's at, so you can imagine he's either got his own collection he appreciates, or perhaps the owners were chased out by vampires, or whatever you prefer to imagine. Its not something Chris and I have discussed completely- all we know is that gallery isn't possessed by anyone but James. Thanks! This episode had a lot more action than dialogue, and I wanted to play on building up suspense as Alyson enters this foreign, "spooky" kind of environment. Yeah, I love how things have worked out like that too. However, things kind of shift in these last few episodes, as their worlds kind of collide into one another, and mould into them experiencing things together, rather than separately, as these episodes have demonstrated so far. I'm not sure its much of an issue. Chris is American, so when he writes his scripts, it would be "mom", and I'm Australian so it'll be "mum" in my scripts. Considering its pronounced the same, I never saw it being much of an issue. Thanks! Again, I really wanted to attempt a feeling of suspense, especially while they're both kind of in situations where something is happening, but they're still trying to uncover what. As always, I mix these words up, as you know. Hahaha. I'm extra cautious for them during the editing process, but this episode never underwent that, so here we are, haha. Shouldn't be a problem in the future- at least, I very much hope so. Yeah, its definitely got to do with this lack of trust. I mean, how many bad guys do you see in films helping someone to gain a sense of trust, then being a complete psycho, trying to harm them. Wolf Creek comes to mind, Hahaha. With that, its the question of, is she willing to die protecting someone she doesn't even know? Realistically, I don't think that's believable unless they share a previous past where he's displayed a big enough reason to. What she uncovered kind of diminished all kind of trust she had started to build for him. XD I can't really say there's elements of rape in the action, purely because there's no sexual aspect of the attack. While there's someone still forcing themselves on another, its more about a vampire going in to feed on a human, as opposed to a "man" gaining control of a "woman" for sexual purposes. Alyson certainly isn't going to willingly let herself be drained from the neck. If anything, the purpose of this attack was to firstly, introduce Alyson to these vampires (another aspect of James' world), and secondly, to give the audience that "how is she gonna get out of it?" vibe for a more powerful cliffhanger. I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable for the wrong reasons, but that element of 'rape' doesn't translate back to me reading over it. Alyson definitely has to adjust to this world, which will eventually shape her into a much more enjoyable character. As its foreign to her, she's not as strong, and confident as she would be in her own environment. But we knew this first arc wouldn't showcase the full capabilities of the character, because of those reasons. However, we will learn a lot about her, which really kicks the sequence off. This episode was very different to the others, in that it was mostly action. Reading wise, I enjoy the first two more, but in terms of writing, I had a lot of fun penning this one. XD Thanks! We really want each new episode to bring something new to the table, and be able to tell a story on its own, even with that 10-page limit. Its a lot of fun, and a lot less time consuming, to do a webisode series, and its very accommodating to both of us who are really busy, but still want to have something to write and plan. Chris is one of my best friends, so I'm really excited to have a project up and running with him that we can both make time for, and its taken a while, and so hopefully there'll be a lot more to come. Digging into the mythology of the world we're creating is a huge part of the ongoing writing process, so that's definitely something to look forward to, as well as the introduction of two key players- one in the next episode, the other in the upcoming arc finale. I'm just rambling now, sorry. Thanks for the review, MJ. As always, its a pleasure hearing from you, and I appreciate the effort you put into shaping us into better writers. Hope you enjoy the next episode! XD |
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Post by Brady Brown on Feb 20, 2013 16:59:19 GMT -6
REVIEW: 1.02 "Bringer of the Light"
Okay, I'm back! Time for me to be reviewing some Hellbound!
I really enjoyed how this episode opened up, and just the whole set up in general. I like how we get to see the pilot, basically, from James' perspective, and we get some explanation on what this freaky orb thing is. Speaking of James, I really enjoy him. Already, I think I prefer James over Alyson, but Alyson is by no means bad.
Really liked the snipit of action we get to see. The fact that Neil mentions James to be "unnatural" intrigues me. And it's quiet obvious James isn't very happy to be a vampire from his "we're all abominations" line. Hoping we get some answers to why James wants Alyson to come with him. Hopefully it won't be just because he finds her blue eyes attractive? XD Can't wait to see their interactions together, though.
Overall, really enjoyed this episode. I think I liked it better than the first, probably because I'm a fan of James more than Alyson, from what we've seen so far. A lot of questions I want answered, like: are there more things similar to this orb? Who is this "she" James wants? The Order? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. Anyways, really, really loved this episode. I shall definitely be back!
10/10
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Post by Jamison on Feb 22, 2013 2:30:28 GMT -6
REVIEW: 1.02 "Bringer of the Light"Okay, I'm back! Time for me to be reviewing some Hellbound! Welcome back! XD Yeah, it was always our intention to show tell the story story from two perspectives, not only for the first two episodes, but also for the two episodes that follow them. The finale sort of stands on its own. As for the Light Bringer, Jack pitched the idea of the orb way back when we were discussing the pilot, and I just LOVE the idea of creating our own mythology with the supernatural world, and magical weaponry. It's really fun to have free-reign like that, and you're sure to see many more things, like the orb, explored in the coming arcs/sequences. I'm glad you like James! He's a character I instantly felt a connection to and I've enjoyed writing his character so far. I may take a while for Alyson to appeal to everyone, because she is coming into the story fresh. She doesn't quite understand the supernatural world and I think once she is fully situated into it, she gets more interesting as a character. Jack and I talk about how he is pretty much the Alyson writer, while I'm the same for James. He wrote for James in the finale, and he did it BRILLIANTLY. However, my scenes for Alyson, so far, haven't been that deep. Hopefully I can step up for her when I do get the chance to write some of her more involved scenes. James is a hybrid, and the only one in the world. We don't reveal what the vampire communities motivations for wanting him captured/killed right away, but the history between him and The Order goes back many years. I can't wait to further explore that history in future episodes. James and Alyson's connection is one of the big mysteries of the first sequence. It's not a love thing, trust me. Even though their relationship may start off with romantic undertones, we have no intention on making this a love story between the two of them. It's been done to death. Not just in vampire shows, but in so many shows with Male/Female duo. Wow, thanks Brady! I'm glad you enjoyed the episode. I really hope Alyson grows on you, because she's such a cool part of this story, especially in future episodes. The "she" James wants to find will be yet another big mystery for sequence one, but there will be mentions of her in every episode leading up to the finale and beyond. |
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Post by Jason T. Davis on Feb 27, 2013 12:40:48 GMT -6
Review of 1.01 "Whispers in the Dark"
Been a long time since I first read the premiere episode, and it's as good as I remember. The set up to this story was executed extremely well. I feel like this was the "right" starting point for the series. Deciding to focus on the character of "Alyson" was a good choice, as she is the one the audience should connect with, in terms of what she knows, and what she doesn't know about the universe you two have developed for "Hellbound." I feel that introducing her as the ''rouge detective'' (or former detective) really brings out the passion and determination she has for solving this case; catching this "serial killer." And giving her a personal connection to the case, with her mother being a victim, was a nice way of bringing all of this "closer" to the characters -- especially Alyson.
Speaking of Alyson, I think she's a really cool lead for the show, and while I believe this episode was focused on setting up her arc and overarching goals, more so than the personal aspects of her character, it's still a good way to start the show. Besides, dealing with a lower page count in the webisode format allows you to get away with certain stuff (Not like I'm an expert). haha!
The story starts off with a bang. Like pretty much everyone here, I really liked Jeremy. His role was short-lived, literally, but what we did get to see of him was awesome. There already seems to be so much backstory and mystery being brought to the table for this series, and I personally love that because it looks like you two have a solid plan. James isn't around much in this episode, only popping up at the end to be all mysterious and vampire-y(?) But I like the mystery. The next episode should get more into his character, so I'm looking forward to that. Overall, this was a fine start to a great show! I'm reviewing these episodes pretty late, having already read the first arc, so I'm trying my best to play dumb and react as I would have if I were reading these episodes for the first time.
In terms of the actual writing -- Jack, you did a great job, as usual. I've read your work on Watchtower (not as much as I should, which I plan on changing) and your attention to detail and unique style of structure and storytelling really shines through here as well. I've never worked in the webisode format before. I plan on doing so soon, but I'm gonna take notes from you and Chris, because even though the script was ten pages long, I felt it had a cohesive 3-act structure. Hard to pull off, and you definitely did it well. I will be back to give my thoughts on the rest of arc one very soon! Great start so far, guys!
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I'm intrigued by Jeremy and I really hope we get a backstory from him. Clearly he's human, he's wounded, bleeding, but that doesn't stop him from being a badass and taking out some Vamps.
I really hope we get flashbacks or something explaining more about him and how he knows James. Obviously they're friends but how does a half bred vamp and a human become friends? There's those mobster looking vamps again. Clearly they've been waiting for these two to meet up.
Haha!
Thanks for reading/reviewing the episodes, MJ! Now, to my response ...
